Fifty Shades of Touched
by Trixiesmom2u
Summary: What happens when Ana trips into Christian's office and he meets someone with haphephobia, bringing out his compassionate and protective instincts. The characters belong to E L James, I'm just borrowing them.
1. Chapter 1

Finally. I sigh wearily as I finish the editing on my latest assignment. I look at the time on my lap top and can't believe its 1:37 am. I am an on line editor for Seattle Independent Publishing. I work from home. My assignments and clients are all dealt with electronically. I am uncomfortable meeting with people face to face, mostly because I can't stand to be touched. I did most of my schooling on line as well. Thank God for computers. I hear Kate's toilet flush again for like the fifth time in the last hour. Concerned, I decide to check on her.

My roommate, Kate Kavenaugh is the complete opposite of me. She is wealthy, put together, attractive and slept with most of Portland. I, on the other hand, am awkward, average looking and barely make it from paycheck to paycheck. I don't date and I am still a virgin. Kate graduates this June. She is a journalism major. Her dad owns and operates Kavenaugh Media, one of the biggest players in the game. I took most of my courses on line and studied 24/7. I kept a 4.0 average and was able to graduate six months ahead of Kate.

We met her second freshman semester. We were both living off campus and having major roommate problems. I was having financial problems and forced to share a 2 bedroom apt with three other girls. Since I studied at home, this left me with picking up after the three lazy sluts, not to mention cooking and all the other shit that comes with three young girls living away from home for the first time. One of the girls living with me had interviewed with Kate to be her roommate, but after hearing Kate's demands, quickly left in disgust.

Kate has a beautiful, luxurious 3 bedroom condo her parents had bought her. Her parents insisted she have at least one roommate, but Kate was having trouble keeping a roommate. They all left, unable to tolerate Kate and her demanding ways, and flat out refusal to clean house or cook. I like cooking and cleaning and I decided to see if I could maybe negotiate a deal.

Needless to say, I did. We just hit it off right away. I bought the food, cooked and cleaned and Kate took care of the utilities, liquor and all the extras. Her parents were thrilled. It was a little awkward trying to explain why I don't like to be touched, but it awoke some protective maternal instinct in Kate and she became a master at controlling conversations and changing the subject.

Kate never asked why I didn't like being touched. She simply never touched me or let anyone else touch me. It was a gift that was priceless. Our friendship deepened and she is probably the only person I have even tried to tell what happened, aside from John Flynn, my shrink. As loyal as she was to me, I am loyal to her. I would do ANYTHING for Kate.

I stop outside her bathroom door and call out to see if she's okay. The only reply is the sound of her vomiting. When it stops I open the door and there is poor Katie, flushed with fever, sitting on the floor waiting for the next round to begin with tears pouring down her face. the tears start falling faster and she starts sobbing.

I try to calm her with my voice but it is useless. Tomorrow was her big interview in Seattle. There is no way she is going to make it and she has no one to go in her place.

"Ana, you could do it!"

"Sorry, Kate. You know I could never do that."

"All you have to do is ask my fifteen questions and use my recorder to get the answers. Then leave, if they even let you have fifteen minutes. Just ask as many questions as you can. It's easy."

"Right. Easy for you maybe, for me not so much. You said he was a billionaire. What if they want to frisk me?"

"Don't be ridiculous. No one is going to frisk you and if they try, explain you have haphephobia and they should call Flynn. Show them your alert bracelet. Security can always wand you."

"I don't know, Kate," I reply doubtfully.

"Please, Ana, please! There is no one else. Please, please!" She begged.

I look at the huge tears sliding down her cheeks and know I have to try.

"Okay," I concede just before Kate leans over the bowl and up chucks again.

Two hours later an exhausted Kate has finally managed to keep down a few sips of tea. I managed a shower and got dressed. Starting with thermal underwear. My car doesn't have heat. Its normally a 3 to 3-1/2 hour trip by car if I was going in a normal car. I am not. I can't drive Kate's car, even though she offered it for the trip. Its a Mercedes Benz her parents got her for her 21st birthday. The few times I have driven it just freaked me out. I am so terrified I will have an accident and damage it, that my good driving habits go out the window. Driving my ancient VW beetle means the trip to Seattle will take at least 4 to 4 1/2 hours. I grab my thermos of hot tea, an apple and my tote bag with Kate's notes, questions and her recorder. I look in the mirror one last time before putting on my coat. I sure hope Mr Bigshot Billionaire doesn't mind casual. I have black jeans on, baggy enough to be comfortable and a heavy white sweater with a turtleneck top. I also have a spare set of clothes in a shopping bag, just in case, God forbid, something happens to Wanda, my car. It will be a miracle if something doesn't happen with Wanda, as lately, all she does is break down.

I know what it's like to feel worn out and be breaking down all the time. I won't give up on Wanda, she just needs some TLC. Hopefully, my friend Jose can give her what she needs when he gets back from LA next week. I head out into the night at 3:45 am.

at 8:10 am, I follow Kate's instructions and enter an underground parking garage where I am directed to a VIP visitors space. I sigh with relief, shocked that I made it here on time. I open my door and kick off my boots and slip on a pair of simple black heels I haven't worn in ages. I take off my coat, grab my black business jacket and my tote bag and I am off. I desperately need to pee, so I will head first to the restroom and then to the visitors desk; at least that was my plan.

I step off the elevator, look around and start heading to a sign that says restrooms when I am immediately intercepted by security.

He points at a sign and politely informs me I need to sign in at the visitors desk and get a security pass. The sign was quite large and boldly declared all visitors from the parking garage must sign in at the visitors desk before proceeding to their destinations. As I wonder how the heck I missed the sign, the security guard again directs me to the visitors desk, taking another step closer to me. I don't know if it was his size that was so intimidating, he must have been 6'4, or if it was his no nonsense, almost grim attitude, but something about him scared the shit out of me. I quickly backed away and almost ran to the visitors desk.

The dumb blond behind the desk seemed incapable of understanding that I was filling in for Kate Kavanaugh. Since the interview was scheduled with Kate Kavanaugh, and I was not Kate Kavanaugh, the blond bitch wouldn't budge and flat out refused to grant me a security pass.

The lack of sleep, the need to pee and just having to deal with a beautiful woman who had shit for brains, suddenly caught up to me. My voice was getting quite loud when that big security guard came over and threatened to escort me out of the building. Then, I really went off. I don't remember exactly what I said, but this time, he was the one who backed away.

The next thing I knew, I was looking up to green eyes and a blond buzz cut. He was big too, but instead of being scared, I felt safe. Somehow I knew this man, who introduced himself as Taylor, Mr Greys head of security, wouldn't hurt me. He suggested we go to his office and led me to the elevator. I wanted desperately to warn him about not touching me, but he hadn't even tried to shake hands and warning people about not touching always makes me feel like the outcast I am, so I held off. If Flynn knew, he would have a fit.

Once seated inside Taylors office, he sat down opposite me and calmly asked what happened downstairs.

I blushed as I remembered my behavior and apologized immediately. The poor girl was just doing her job. I explained what had happened to Kate, how there was no time to call and ask if I could take her place. I explained how important the interview was to Kate and her final grade, and threw myself on his mercy. Then I explained I had been driving since 4 a.m. and really needed to use the restroom.

Taylor explained first he needed to wand me. I stood and went where he directed. The wand went all around me but never touched me. He asked me to leave my purse behind, and showed me a locker where I could put it. The key was on an elastic bracelet and already in the keyhole. I grabbed a hairbrush and stowed my purse, locked the locker and put the key on my wrist and finally headed to the ladies room. After relieving myself, I washed my hands, pull out the hair tie and try to do something with my hair, but its not happening. My hair is just being impossible, so I decide to just leave it down. I brush it firmly, then throw it over my shoulder and hope for the best.

I return to security and retrieve my bag, placing my hairbrush back inside. I find my lip gloss and dab on a little bit. Taylor seems preoccupied with whatever he is reading. My leather purse is oversized. Aside from Kate's questions, notes and recorder, I have all kinds of things in my bag so when Taylor asked me to empty it, I thought I would die. My bag is like a bottomless pit, even I don't know everything that is in there. Slowly, I start removing things.

First, Kate's recorder and the file that contained her notes and questions that I have not yet had time to even get a glimpse of and really need a moment to look at, but not right now. Makeup, hairbrush, wallet, checkbook, nail polish, nail file, lip balm, lip gloss, sunglasses, duct tape, a book of stamps, a thousand little register receipts, my phone, a spare charging cord, a mini USB drive, M&M's, a box of tic tacs, Tylenol, a scissor, a plastic bag of Twinnings English Breakfast tea bags, a flathead screwdriver, tampons, a package of tissues, a comb, hair ties and bobby pins, a safety pin, needle and thread, salt and pepper packets, ketsup and soy sauce packets, a menu from Chinese take-out, and finally a roll of electrical tape, three worn paperback books by Thomas Hardy and lastly, three different cable ties of varying length. At last, its empty. I turn it upside down and shake it to show Taylor there is nothing left and blush in horror at the crumbs, dust and dirt that comes raining down on his desk. I look over at him expecting to see a small smile, but he is not smiling.

Straight to the point, he asks why am I carrying duct tape. I want to roll my eyes but restrain myself and explain about Wanda, how the rear bumper is hanging and I am using duct tape to keep it in place until my friend Jose can do something with it. I also use it on the convertible top that is forever leaking. It seems as fast as I tape up one leak, another one springs up.

I look at the clock and its almost nine. I am starting to feel really nervous. The interview is scheduled for nine a.m. I watch as Taylor keys in data to his IPad. Then he looks up at three monitors that suddenly fill with images of Wanda. One monitor pans over the roof and zooms in showing my duct tape patches. Another camera zooms in on the rear bumper, again showing my duct tape fix. The third camera moves all around my car, then slowly zooms in on each tire, making it very apparent to anyone watching, my rear tires are almost as bald as a bowling ball.

Taylor grunts then looks at me and shakes his head in disbelief, "Either you are incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. Does your father know you drove all the way here on those tires?"

I am appalled and pissed off at the same time. I want to tell him to mind his own business but I can't risk losing the interview. I can't think of anything placating to say, so I hang my head in shame and say nothing.

He keeps the screwdriver, the scissors and my duct tape, then sweeps everything back into my bag, neatly and efficiently. With a slight smirk, he slides my bag across the desk to me and explains my contraband will be returned later. I roll my eyes in exasperation.

He grunts again in displeasure, then directs me to stand up and promptly takes my picture. Like a mug shot, I have to turn sideways for a profile shot. I ought to feel like a prisoner but instead I feel safe. Its a strange feeling, I never feel safe.

Taylor plays some more on his IPad and then walks across the room to some sort of digital printer and waits while my laminated security badge with my photo slowly inches out. Once out, he adds a beaded chain, lays it on the desk and pushes it to me. "You will need to wear this." He adds, matter of a factly.

I put it on over my head, surprised he didn't try and do it himself. Maybe he doesn't like touching people either. I look at the clock, its 8:59 a.m. He stands and says "Please follow me."

We walk a short distance and an elegant blond behind the reception desk, nods for us to go right in.

"Fifteen minutes is all he can spare," she reminds me as I pass her desk.

I smile and try to be gracious. "Thank you. I appreciate it." I mentally groan knowing I still haven't had a chance to read Kate's notes or questions. She's talked about him the last few months, but all I can remember is he is a self made billionaire. Hopefully, he is not a grumpy old man, but that is the image I am preparing for.

Taylor holds the door open for me and I get two steps past him when I catch my heel in the carpet and go plunging forward. I just manage to not fall by staggering to his massive desk and clutching it for dear life.

The man behind the desk asks politely if I am okay. Beet red with embarrassment I force my eyes up to meet the most gorgeous man I have ever seen. Unruly copper hair and piercing gray eyes that don't miss anything. This man is nobody's fool. Our eyes meet and I feel like he can see inside my soul. I'm confused as I see a glimpse of wistfulness and then sadness. He reaches out his hand and introduces himself, "Christian Gray,"

I blush. This Adonis is Christian Grey? Oh my god. I swallow nervously and stare at his outstretched hand in horror. Finally, I find my voice, if a bit trembly, and explain apologetically, "I'm sorry, I don't shake hands. Please don't be offended.

" No offense taken, Miss?"

"I'm sorry, Steele, Anastasia Steele, but please call me Ana."

"Can I ask why you decline to shake hands, just out of curiosity?"

I sigh and take a seat in front of his desk. I notice Taylor has moved about six feet to my right and stands like a soldier at ease with feet spread and hands clasped behind him. I sigh again and start my spiel, "I have haphephobia, its a..."

He interrupts me. "I know what it is. Someone very close to me suffers from it." Those gray eyes now look tormented and a little lost. He slowly sits back down and looks at me thoughtfully. "Adult onset?" He asks, almost hopefully.

I shake my head no and say simply, "I was thirteen." I see the quick burst of anger in his eyes and suddenly understand. He knows and he's angry for me because he has haphephobia too.

"Do you have a specific no-go area?" He asks kindly.

"I do but it's a wide area, from my chest to my knees in front and my waist to my knees in back. How about you?"

He blinks and starts to answer, then stops. He meets my eyes head on. Simultaneously, we both realize that lying to each other is not an option. Somehow, we can both tell when the other is not truthful.

"I was four years old. Cigarette burns to my chest and back. I can't bear to be touched in either place." He finally answers, his eyes looking away so I can't read him.

My eyes fill with tears. I have never wanted to hold someone and offer them comfort as I do now. I have those same scars and I know how much they hurt. How could anyone do such a cruel deed to a baby! Only four years old! My heart is breaking for him. I can't remember the last time I was so overwhelmed with emotion.

He gives me a half-hearted smile, "You'd think after all these years, I would be used to the scars, that they wouldn't bother me anymore, but it doesn't work like that. I can't even hug my own mother."

Tears fall silently down my cheeks. He says nothing but slides a monogrammed hankerchief across the desk, making sure our hands don't touch. His thoughtfulness is my undoing and I cry openly behind it.

After regaining control of myself, I look up at his knowing gray eyes and confess that I too have scars.

"Are you comfortable having Taylor in the room with us?" He asks, ever so gently. Then he adds, "I can have a female replace him if it would make you feel safer?"

"No." I state clearly, "I have never felt safer or more protected than I do right now. Please let Taylor stay."

At that moment, there is a knock on the door and the blond is there, looking at Grey and reminding him, "Two minutes. Your 9:15 is here."

I gasp in horror to realize I haven't asked one question. Grey just snarls at the blond and orders her to cancel it. When she starts to protest, he becomes furious and demands arbitrarily she cancel everything for the rest of the day. There is no mistaking the finality of his decision. His tone of voice is emphatic. The blond calmly agrees and returns to her desk.

I am speechless. This is all my fault. He is angry at his staff because of me. "Please," I begin, "I am sorry I took up so much of your time with personal stuff. Please don't be angry with your staff. I hurriedly try to collect my belongings and avoid those knowing gray eyes. I am filled with guilt and don't know how I am ever going to be able to explain this to Kate.

" Anastasia!"

I look up slowly. Its uncanny how much his voice saying my name, reminded me of my dad, Ray. Another wave of tears start as I think of Ray.

"Anastasia," he calls in a softer voice. "I am not angry with Andrea, just a bit annoyed that she questioned me. I want to get to know you. I want to do your interview and I don't want to feel rushed. Andrea is used to me, she has worked for me for years. Don't worry about it."

I take a deep breath and try to relax and blow my nose. I am drawn to him, to his eyes, to his voice in a way I have never experienced before. I find myself wondering what it would be like to run my fingers through his beautiful copper hair. What is happening to me? I need Flynn. As soon as I leave here, I will call him.

"Why don't we sit over there on the couches where we can be more comfortable?" He suggests with a reassuring smile.

My heart starts to race at his words, but then the panic fades as I see his smile. I am safe with him. I know it, like I know my own name. Christian Grey won't hurt me. I start to stand and everything spins, I wobble and then plop back down into my seat again.

"Anastasia!" He calls in an alarmed voice and before I know it he is kneeling in front of me.

I try to reassure him I am okay and explain I just felt a little dizzy. He asks me when was the last time I ate. I try and remember but I am honestly not sure. Then I remember my apple and happily tell him I had half an apple on my drive in, but I dropped it and it rolled in the back. He wants to know what I ate yesterday. I try to avoid answering, but he is like a bull dog. Finally, I throw my hands up in surrender and admit I had tea for breakfast, yogurt for lunch and worked through dinner and forgot to eat.

He is beyond horrified. I can tell its taking all of his self control to not yell at me. I shrink in my seat. He starts apologizing, then picks up his phone and tells Andrea, he wants breakfast for four, with a separate platter of sausages and bacon. He looks back at me and asks coffee or tea. I tell him tea, hot water is all I need; I have my own tea bags.

He stands and moves to my side. Taylor approaches and moves to my other side. Grey holds out his hand to help me up from the chair, and I can't resist taking it. I must have lost my mind.

As soon as our hands touch, I feel a momentary shock, but not the terrible, burning pain I normally would feel at someone's touch. I can't believe I let him touch me. I gasp, but hold on tighter to his hand. I feel safe, maybe for the first time in my whole life, I feel safe and protected. For the short time I am here, I don't need to look over my shoulder. Best of all I am breathing normally. Flynn is going to flip.

We move over to the two white leather couches that face each other but end up sitting on the same couch. Taylor positions himself by the wall. I look down at our hands that are still clasped and smile in amazement. He looks and smiles, then orders Taylor to snap some pictures on his phone. I squeel in mock horror but Taylor is grinning and happily snapping off pictures of us on his phone, ignoring my halfhearted protests. The truth is, I really do want a picture of us holding hands, if only to prove to Flynn it really happened. I am happy, happier than I have ever felt before. He looks at me with his silly grin and he is just adorable. Without thinking, my free hand reaches up to touch his hair and freezes just beside his head.

"Go ahead, be brave, you can do it!" He encourages me, so I do. His hair is wavy and soft. I lean close and sniff. The scent is intoxicating. I am feeling things I have never felt before and never imagined I would feel in my lifetime.

"Tell me about yourself." He commands softly. Just like the rest of the world, I humbly obey.

"I am 22 and graduated last semester with a 4.0 average. I majored in English and literature and took most of my classes on line, except for the science labs. I was able to get permission to do them one-on-one with my professor. Kate tagged along for moral support. I don't think I could have done it without her support. Flynn wanted to come too. Actually, Flynn wanted to come regardless, but I shot that down."

I couldn't help but notice Taylor's head jerk up at the mention of Flynn.

" Flynn?" Grey asks.

"He's my shrink. He heard about my case and offered to take me on as a patient pro bono. We Skype twice a week and meet in person when we can."

"You would come to Seattle?"

I sigh. "I don't get to Seattle that often. Usually, there's a knock on the door and there is Flynn. Whenever I would be going through a bad time, he would always mysteriously show up. I don't know if Kate called him or he picked up on something in our Skype sessions, but he is a wonderful therapist, even if he is a pain in the ass."

Grey is staring at me with this weird expression on his face. He looks at me and then looks at Taylor who has allowed the tiniest of smirks to grace his face. Grey shakes his head in disbelief and confides, "Flynn is my shrink too!"

I burst into laughter. Who would ever believe that poor, plain Ana could have so much in common with a billionaire. It's unbelievable. Slowly, my smile fades as I realize I must tell him and he isn't going to be happy. Will he even still want to do the interview? I better not say anything.

"Anastasia, what is it?"

"It's nothing, Mr Grey."

"Call me Christian, Ana. It is something. It was like a huge dark shadow crossed your face."

I sit and stare out into the gloomy Seattle skyline, debating whether or not to tell him."

"Anastasia, tell me." He commands.

I decide to comply. "Sometimes, if I am touched unexpectedly, I have breathing problems."

His keen eyes know I am leaving out something important.

"Explain, Anastasia. You can trust me."

I hang my head, not wanting to see the look on his face when I tell him.

"Look at me, Anastasia. I need to see your eyes."

My shame filled eyes look up at him. "No one can explain it. Breathing is an involuntary reflex. You can hold your breath until you pass out but eventually your brain commands your body to breathe. Except, I don't."

His beautiful gray eyes are concerned and puzzled."What happened?" He asked gently.

"Last year I went to a small Christmas party with Kate and some of our friends. There was a guy there who kept bugging me to dance. I explained, I don't dance. Period. Kate told him to go bother someone else and chased him off. A little later, Kate and I were getting ready to go and decided to hit the ladies room. On our way there, she met up with an old flame and stopped to chat. I went ahead alone. I was scared, but it was so close and there was hardly anyone around. He came out of the Men's Room as I was about to enter the Ladies Room.

He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me hard against his chest. Then he started to shove his tongue down my throat. I don't remember anything else. Apparently, I stopped breathing. Someone started CPR, paramedics came and the next thing I knew I was in ICU, intubated and unable to breathe on my own. Kate got Flynn involved on my second day in ICU.

The doctors could find no medical reason for my failure to breathe, but every time they removed the tube, they had to reinsert it. Flynn showed up with some theory they all bought into and allowed him to try something different. He had me brought to a private room and told me what was going to happen. Then he injected me with a tranquilizer and had another doctor pull out the tube. It took three minutes of Flynn's constant reassuring voice before my body finally gave in and started to breathe. In our next session I found out Flynn was furious with me because I put myself in a dangerous situation just to please Kate. I still don't think that is entirely true. I wanted to be normal, for just a little while. If I had known what was going to happen, I never would have gone.

Anyway, now I have to wear a medic alert and carry a syringe with a tranquilizer."

He squeezes my hand and it feels so good. We both look down at our clasped hands simultaneously and smile, if a little nervously. He stares into my eyes while gently massaging the back of my hand with his thumb. "I am glad you didn't stop breathing." He whispers softly.

"So am I," I reply happily.

Just then there is a knock on the door announcing breakfast.


	2. Chapter 2

Two servers enter, pushing two trolleys of covered dishes. The servers work quickly. There are huge platters of eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, muffins, pancakes, waffles and fresh fruit. There are pitchers of orange juice, pineapple juice and apple juice. Not to mention an urn of coffee, and a pitcher of hot water for tea. I sit and watch with my mouth wide open, but words fail me. Never have I seen anything like this. Grey pulls me to my feet, "Come, Anastasia. You need to eat."

I stand but look at him like he's lost his mind. "Me and what army?" I ask.

"Taylor likes to eat. Don't worry, what we don't finish, Sawyer will."

"Who's Sawyer?"

"He works with Taylor when we need additional security."

I watch as a white linen tablecloth is spread over a round glass table, which is quickly set with linen napkins and utensils.

"Come," Grey invites as he continues to hold my hand and start at the beginning of the buffet. I am hungry now. Really hungry. I take three sausage and several long strips of bacon. Next I pile up home fries and scrambled eggs. Back at our table, the server offers us juice, coffee, tea and milk. I take a glass of pineapple juice, a glass of milk and a cup of tea, bag out. I notice Taylor standing to the side, six feet away supporting the wall. Grey, meanwhile is staring at my plate like I have lost my mind.

"Anastasia, you will never be able to eat all that."

"I can eat it. Why isn't Taylor sitting with us?"

"He's staff, Anastasia. We don't take meals together."

I think about that and try to wrap my head around it but I can't. I can tell Taylor is hungry, but he says nothing, simply stands stoically against the wall. He's hungry and the food is getting cold. This is ridiculous.

"Mr Grey, could you maybe make an exception just once today? I was hoping to see which one of us could eat more. "

"Ms Steele, " he pauses carefully, considering his words, than just mutters, "What the hell" and nods for Taylor to join us.

Thirty minutes later, I look at what is left on the table. There is one sausage left on the platter. I eyeball it and checkout Taylor at the same time. We are having a silent contest and I want that last link of sausage. I know as soon as my fork makes its move to the platter, Taylor will strike too. His arms are longer and his reflexes incredibly fast. I will need to distract him.

"Look!" I cry, pointing at the window with my fork. As soon as Taylor turns I stab the sausage and immediately bring it to my mouth where I bite off a chunk. Taylor turns back and watches in shocked dismay as I eat the sausage. Grey is cracking up. The only thing really left on the table is a platter of cold toast, and some fresh fruit.

Taylor puts his hands up in the air and concedes defeat. Grey sips on his coffee and smiles contentedly. He looks at Taylor, catches his eye and says simply, "Sawyer isn't going to be happy." Taylor shrugs with a grin. Then Grey explains Sawyer works security with Taylor and is accustomed to finishing up any leftovers.

Taylor slides the cantaloupe and strawberries onto the platter with the cold, soggy toast. Then he texts him. There's a knock on the door and another huge guy enters. Taylor grabs the one platter of toast and fruit and hands it to Sawyer.

Sawyer had been looking calm and composed until he looked down at the platter. His head snapped up and he turned to Taylor and growled, "Where's all the meat?"

Before Taylor could respond, I spoke up. "I am so sorry, Mr Sawyer, but I am afraid I made a pig of myself. We ate it, every last link of sausage and every strip of bacon. I have never tasted such delicious sausage and bacon in my life."

Sawyer looks from me to Taylor, back to me and then turns to Grey. "Sir, did they really eat it all?"

"Sawyer, they ate it all. Don't ask me where either one of them put it, especially her."

Grey then goes on to describe our dueling forks and how I tricked Taylor to nab the last sausage which seems to mollify him a bit and he ends up leaving with a grin.

I find it interesting that I feel safer now that Sawyer has left. I wonder what it is about Grey and Taylor that makes me feel so safe? The servers are back to remove the empty platters. Grey stands and motions to the couches. I follow and sit on one end and place my tote beside me. Grey sits on the opposite end.

"So, Ms Steele. I believe you have some questions for me?"

Suddenly I feel shy and uncomfortable. I pull out the recorder and ask if he minds if I record his answers to Kate's questions. He says no. I grab the questions and glance through them when one question causes me to gasp in horror. No way am I asking such a stupid question. I go over the other questions and find myself disappointed. Grey notices and asks me what's wrong.

I explain I don't care for her questions. He explains I am welcome to ask my own. I am torn and decide to do both, since he really doesn't mind. I explain Kate has 15 questions, I will ask 14 as one was inappropriate. Then I will ask him a few questions of my own. He agrees.

Kate's questions are unoriginal and boring. You can read them in almost any interview. Nevertheless, I ask them and gentleman that Christian Grey is, he answers them. It doesn't take long to go through her questions.

Now it's my turn. I ask what was his favorite Christmas was and why. It turns out it was the year he was six and his family adopted his sister Mia. She arrived as an infant shortly before Christmas and changed his life. He went on to explain he loves his older brother, Elliot, but there was always competition between them. Elliot's idea of playing was teasing or stealing his toys, whereas Mia would just gurgle and smile. She needed protecting. She stole his heart the first day and had him wrapped around her little finger. She still does. According to Grey, he spoils his little sister sinfully.

I smile in appreciation of the personal glimpse into his life. Then I ask him what is the toughest lesson he has learned in life?

He pauses and looks away, staring out at the Seattle skyline through the floor to ceiling glass windows. After a moment, he speaks softly. "I've learned many lessons since I started my business. The three I remember best were probably the most painful. I learned that to truly succeed, you need to fail. I learned in business, nice guys really do finish last. There are times, too many times, when you simply have to be a cold hearted bastard. Excuse my language, Ms Steele. Lastly, I learned to trust no one, everyone has an agenda, everyone wants something." Then he smiled reluctantly and added, "Even you, Ms Steele."

I nod and then ask, "If this," and I sweep my arm in front of me to include everything in the office and continue, " All disappeared overnight, if all the money was suddenly gone, what would you do? Would you start over? Try again?"

"I've had a good run. If it ended tomorrow, I can deal with that. Money really isn't important to me. I think I would like to work in a third world country and try to make a difference."

"Why not right here at home?"

There is a long silence as Grey considers his answer. I feel uneasy and nervous. I interrupt the silence and assure him I can withdraw the question and there is no need for him to answer.

He looks up surprised, "No, Ms Steele, I want to answer. Let me explain. My early childhood was difficult. My birth mother was involved in drugs and money wasn't easy to come by. I knew hunger and abuse. No child should ever experience either. Poverty is not an excuse for hunger in this country. There are federal programs to prevent it, Food Stamps and Medicaid, not to mention non-profit organizations and food banks. I'm not saying there aren't hungry children, just that there are programs available to the poor to prevent hunger. In third world countries, there's nothing for the poor. If it weren't for the non-profits providing food in some countries, I'm not sure where the next generation would come from.

I donate a lot of money to provide food to starving children but I sometimes wonder if I should just take a leave of absence for a year and go there, a boots on the ground kind of mentality. Learn the politics first hand, understand the corruption not just judge it. I want to go there and be Superman and I can't because I'm just one guy and I'm not a superhero. They are only in comic books. If I went, I would be frustrated, and then I would be angry. In the end, I would probably do more damage than good. Not to mention, I am responsible for fifty thousand employees in various companies around the world. Until I retire or give up my company, they have to be my number one priority or I shouldn't be a CEO. I do try and visit once a year at least but it's only for a few days at best."

"Wow! Grey, I am impressed! You are a good man."

He smiles, almost shyly.

"One last question, Grey. For all the people who emulate you and want to follow in your footsteps and get filthy rich, what advice can you give them?"

"Money can't buy you happiness. I work long, hard hours. I am often on international calls negotiating million dollar deals at three in the morning. Ask anyone else in a similar position and you will quickly see its hell on relationships. There are lots of different reasons but know there are very, very few really happy rich people."

"Are you happy Mr Grey?"

"I am not unhappy, Ms Steele. I am only 28. I have plenty of time to find happiness."

"On behalf of UW, we wish you good luck, sir." I click off the recorder and sigh in look at Grey and he is smiling too. We are both glad that's over. I put everything back in my bag and put my head back against the couch and try to relax a little. I close my eyes and then yawn.

"Tired, Ms Steele?"

"Will you please call me Ana?"

"Will you please call me Christian?"

I giggle and complain, "But I like calling you Grey."

He makes a growling sound but his eyes are smiling. I laugh out loud and he laughs with me.

I yawn again.

"Keeping you up, am I?"

"Of course not, silly. It's just all that wonderful food is making me sleepy."

"Taylor. Get Ms Steele a blanket."

I want to die of embarrassment. I'm not cold and I can't very well tell him I have thermals on, so I just accept the blanket graciously but grin when Taylor tosses a second blanket to Grey with some remark about him not sleeping either."

Taylor looks at me and tells me to press the button on the side. I do and discover this is a reclining sofa. A very comfortable, plush leather reclining sofa. I hear Grey's side of the sofa shift into the reclining position as well. There I lay, with just my oversized tote bag between us. I have my blanket and he has his. Strangely, I feel quite safe and comfortable. Taylor presses buttons on a remote and the windows slowly darken. Soothing music plays softly in the background. My eyelids feel heavy, but this can't be happening. I feel a moment of panic and then I feel Grey's hand clasp mine and the panic fades.

"Rest, Anastasia. Taylor will keep watch over both of us." I know it is true. Taylor will keep us safe. He will keep me safe. I don't think Grey would try to take advantage of me but I know if he did try, Taylor would kick his ass, boss or no boss. I feel the tension drain out of me and close my eyes and let sleep take me."

I awaken to the sound of frenzied whispering. Cautiously I open my eyes to see Taylor on one knee beside Christian, pointing at something on his IPad and whispering furiously. Grey nods, throws off his blanket and calls me, "Anastasia!"

Something is wrong. "Anastasia, we need to leave immediately. Come!" He announces while holding out his hand to me. I press the button to return to a sitting position. I put the blanket aside and grab my tote with one hand and Greys outstretched hand with the other.

Taylor has been speaking harshly into his phone and I startle when he suddenly yells, "I don't give a fuck. Get his car out front now."

I want to ask what is wrong but they are both so tense, I don't dare. Once outside his office, Andrea starts to say something but Taylor cuts her off with a nod of his head. She looks confused as we pass her on the way to the elevator. Sawyer is waiting at the elevator and he looks tense as well. Once inside the elevator, I feel both Grey and Taylor inch closer to me. I am starting to feel like a piece of bologna between two slices of bread. Then I hear Taylor.

"Sawyer, you're on Grey. Grey is on Ms Steele's left, I will be on her right." Then those hazel eyes turned to me. They were dead serious now. "Ana, listen to me. This is serious. Do exactly what I say. If I say down, just drop to the ground, don't ask why. Do you understand?"

I nod, but that wasn't good enough for Taylor.

"Ana, do you understand?"

I feel Christian give my hand a reassuring squeeze as I reply, "Yes, Taylor. I understand."

The elevator doors open to the lobby. Building security moves outside ahead of us, momentarily halting pedestrian traffic. We are quickly hustled into a waiting black SUV. There are police cars and fire engines everywhere. I look out the passenger window and think I see the homeless woman I gave ten dollars to on my way to the interview. I press my nose against the glass and I am sure it is her when suddenly there is a crack and the window I am leaning my face against explodes with a bang. I scream. Taylor yells," Down!" Grey grabs me and pulls me to the floor. The car takes off with a screech. I hear three more sharp raps against glass and wonder what is going on. Grey is sheltering my body with his but on his knees so that our bodies aren't actually touching. I can hear Taylor cursing viciously nonstop as the car swerves violently from one side to the other.

I am gasping for air, but can't seem to suck any down. I open my eyes and see spots. I need to let Grey know and try to call him, but only a gutteral sound comes out. Then, I am suddenly flipped on my back and pulled to a sitting position. His gray eyes are riveted to mine. They are calm and commanding.

"Look at me, Anastasia. You are safe. We will keep you safe no matter what. You need to breathe Anastasia. Look at me. Don't think about anything else, just breathe with me. Ready? Okay, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out."

I try. Its hard. At first all I do is gasp and make strange sounds, but then I actually take a small breath. I feel myself grin like an idiot and then take another shallow breath without thinking. I am ecstatic. Before you know it I am breathing normally and Grey and I are both grinning like idiots.

I inch back until my back is up against the door. Grey does the same with the opposite door. He stretches out his legs on either side of me. "Are you okay now?" He asks gently.

"Yes," I reply in a hoarse whisper.

His hand moves toward my face but doesn't touch me. "You are going to have a bruise." He announces. He tries to sound casual, but I can tell it is really upsetting him.

"Good thing I have makeup," I laugh, letting him know a bruise is no big deal.

We've been driving for a while when Grey asks Taylor for an ETA at Escala.

There's a long silence before Taylor replies. "Sir, Escala is out. We're headed for Boeing."

Greys face noticibly pales. "Injuries?" He asks.

"Unknown, sir. All I know at this point is Escala was compromised. The last report indicates Reynolds and Gail are in the safe room."

"You've contacted Stephen?"

"Yes sir."

"Where do you suggest we go, Taylor?"

"Sir, we're on defense right now. All we have are questions. I suggest you visit New York, sir."

Grey closes his eyes and starts yanking on his hair in obvious frustration. I am quite sure if I wasn't here, he would be shouting at Taylor. I am glad he isn't.

"Taylor! What do you suggest regarding Ms Steele?"

I interrupt right there. No use in this getting out of hand. "I am sure I can get a cab back to the parking garage. I'll just get my car and head back to Portland."

There is a very long, uncomfortable silence. Its making me very nervous. Grey is avoiding my eyes and continuously tugging on his hair.

Finally, Taylor clears his throat and begins to speak. "Ms Steele, your car was vandalized. Your tires were slashed and a threatening message was left in spray paint. Then your car was set on fire. This was before someone took a shot at you. Then a completely different shooter fired three rounds on your side of the vehicle. You are under an active threat and you need to stay with us so we can protect you."

"W-Wanda was set on fire?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Do you think she could be fixed?"

"No. I am sorry. Think of her as going out in a blaze of glory, like a Viking funeral."

I smile at the simile.

Grey lifts his head and gives me a sad smile, "Anastasia, will you be my guest for a visit to New York?"

I realize I really don't have much choice, "Grey, I would be honored."


	3. Chapter 3

After several, persistent commands from Grey, Taylor grants us permission to return to our seats. I have to admit, it feels a lot better. I look at the window beside me and see the circle the bullet made, and a thousand little fractures extending outward. I turn my head and look behind me. The rear windshield looks different. The shots were very close together, leaving a mark like a shamrock. There's a huge round circle of crazed glass surround the area where the bullets impacted, taking up almost half of the rear windshield. I wonder had the shooter kept firing in the same spot, how long would it take for the glass to fail? I decide I dont want to know.

I look over at Grey and he is texting on his phone. He's fast, really fast. He's angry, I can tell from his stiff posture; even his flying fingers seem angry as they pounce on the keys. I look up then and see we've reached Boeing field. He must feel the car slow down because he looks up as well.

He turns to me and gives me a brief, polite smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. His mind is elsewhere and I am simply a polite distraction. I don't really mind, quite frankly I have had enough attention for one day.

I watch as our car is cleared through security and Taylor actually drives out on the tarmac to the waiting jet. He pulls right up beside the jet and orders Sawyer to go inside the jet and 'sweep it.' The pilot is standing by the open doorway at the head of the stairs so it seems a little silly to me, but then what do I know?

Sawyer signals all clear to Taylor, who promptly exits the car, unholsters his weapon and opens the door.

Grey is annoyed to see Taylor's gun out and orders him to holster it. Taylor looks around, scanning the perimeter and reluctantly put his gun away. Grey and I exit the car and start up the stairs. Taylor is immediately behind me.

As we approach the pilot, Grey says, "Anastasia, let me introduce you to our pilot, Stephen."

The name echo's in my brain like rumbling thunder. Unreasonable terror floods me as panic overwhelms me. I step backwards as I fight for breath and suddenly I am falling only to be caught by Taylor. He turns me to him and I see a flare of emotion in his eyes.

"Do you know him?"

I shake my head no.

"Does he look like someone else?"

I shake my head no again, while trying desperately to control my breathing.

"Is it his name?"

I nod yes, emphatically as Grey grabs me and Taylor tells him to get me inside. I cling to Christian and pray he can work his magic with my breathing once more. I close my eyes

as we pass the pilot. Why do I have to be so fucked up?

Christian gives me that intense stare again, daring me to defy him when he orders me to breathe in and breathe out. It works. Again. I think its those gray eyes of his. They are so mesmerizing. I finally calm down and start breathing normally. Christian declares the pilot will be called captain from now on; no more first names. I think that will work for me. Its the name that freaks me out and brings back memories.

After a few minutes, I am calm enough to look out the cabin window and notice Taylor yelling into his phone. He is red with anger, pacing furiously and every other word out of his mouth appears to be the f bomb. His free hand keeps sweeping through his buzz cut. He looks completely frazzled. I would never guess he could be so emotional.

Then just as suddenly, he stops pacing and he smiles. I look at Grey and he is smiling as well. I look at him questionally, and he answers, "Looks like he got a hold of Gail. She's my housekeeper. They are in a relationship."

I am a little surprised, not that Taylor is in a relationship, because he truly is a hunk, but because Grey doesn't strike me as the kind of employer who is okay with employees fraternizing with each other. I haven't met Gail, but after seeing Taylors reaction from just talking to her, I have to admit, I really want to meet her. Grey excuses himself to have a word with the pilot.

Grey returns and advises me we are waiting on the co-pilot who has arrived at the airport and should be here momentarily. Then we will be able to take off. In the meantime, he has some calls he is going to step outside to make because he doesn't want me to hear the colorful language he will be using. He smiles at me reassuringly and leaves.

I see the pilot adjusting his blue tooth on his ear and realize everyone has a phone growing out of their hand but me. Then I remember Kate. I think about calling her and nix that; she would interrogate me and I don't feel up to that. I'll call her from New York. I pull out my phone anyway, thinking I'll send her a quick text, letting her know I am fine but won't be home tonight. I pull out my phone and its dead. I'm not sure if I have a charging cord with me or not. I go digging in my bag and find one. I insert the cord into my phone and look around for an outlet. I don't see any and I'm not asking the pilot. I'll ask Grey later.

I see a man running across the tarmac towards the movable stairs. No one is alarmed so he must be the missing co-pilot. Grey and Taylor return inside. Grey sits down beside me as naturally as if he has done it all his life. What is even stranger is I expected him to sit beside me and would have been hurt if he hadn't. There is a pull between us that I have never felt before and don't understand. I just know when he sits beside me, its where I am supposed to be. By his side. Fuck, I need Flynn.

The engines are revving, the movable stairs have been taken away, when I remember my phone. I explain I was trying to text Kate that I am okay but won't be home tonight but my phone is dead.

He fires off a quick text to his p.a. to call my roomate and reassure her without divulging where I am. Then he shuts off his phone and prepares for takeoff. I look around the cabin. We are seated in two adjoining white leather lounge chairs in the middle of the cabin facing to the rear. I turn and see Sawyer and Taylor are seated up front, facing forward. It is nothing like the pictures I have seen up commercial airlines. Everything feels plush and luxurious, there is so much room but still I worry.

I have never flown before. I hope I don't do anything to embarrass myself. The pilot reminds us that seats belts must be on and everyone seated for take off as the engines rev furiously and we wait on the runway for permission to take off. Then, just like that, we are moving. I dig my nails into the padded arm rest and feel my heart race as the trees start to fly by and we go faster and faster. I feel sure we should be in the air by now and fear for the worst.

Then, like magic, Grey's hands cover mine. He leans close and asks gently if I am okay. I smell his after shave. It is a unique woodsy scent, earthy and intoxicating. I am about to answer him, when the ground slips away and we are airborne. The plane is tilted up, reaching for altitude and I can feel panic beginning inside me.

He knows, I don't know how, but he knows. He pulls up the arm rests between us and wraps an arm around me pulling me close. Why does this not bother me? I don't care why. I lean into his side, close my eyes and accept the comfort that he offers me. Before long, the plane has leveled off and I sigh with relief.

"Have you never flown before?" He asks.

I feel like an idiot. I look down and finally confess this is my first flight. He smiles and congratulates me on my first take off, then apologizes for the lack of amenities. Normally, there would be a decent hot meal served aboard, especially on a cross country flight like this. Unfortunately, there wasn't time to get food or the stewardess to get to the airport. The beverages weren't chilled and there is no ice. Basically, he could offer coffee or tea with potatoes chips or pretzels. He says all this with the most sincere look you can imagine, like he is embarrassed he can't offer me chilled wine and a gourmet dinner. I giggle and his face softens.

"What is so funny?" He asks.

"I had a really big breakfast." I smile. He smiles back at me and his whole face lights up as he remembers. His gray eyes twinkle with happiness as he agrees, I did indeed eat a very large breakfast.

The pilot makes an announcement that we can move around the cabin and Taylor is there first thing, requesting a moment. I start to stand and leave, but they both stop me. Grey excuses himself and they move to the rear of the plane and Taylor is showing him something on his phone.

Whatever it is, I wish Taylor hadn't showed it to him. Grey is absolutely enraged. I can hear him yell, "How the fuck did she get that close and security not see her? Fucking bitch!" And he just rants on and on. Finally, Taylor lightly taps his arm and says something so low I can't hear it. It must be about me, though, because Grey immediately looks over at me.

God. I hope he's not angry at me. Taylor keeps talking and finally, a reluctant Grey nods yes. They both start heading back to me and I can feel my palms sweat. My normal instinct is to run. Who wants to be around two angry men? But its hard to run when you're in a plane. I wrack my brain trying to think what I did that has them so angry. Maybe its Wanda. Maybe the damage was expensive? I squirm in my seat as they both arrive.

Grey smiles and holds out his hand, "Come, Anastasia. Taylor wants to update us."

I am quite sure Grey is leaving out something very important, but I let it slide. I will know soon enough. We move to a table up front with four swivel captains chairs bolted to the floor. We sit and Sawyer serves coffee to Taylor and Grey. Then, the huge gorilla looks down at me and asks which I would prefer, coffee or tea? I don't know why just his being so close to me is scaring the shit out of me, but it is. I stare up at him with frightened eyes and suddenly, he seems to understand. He drops down to one knee and now we are eyeball to eyeball.

"Please," he asks, "Don't let my size intimidate you. I am here to protect you. I could never hurt you."

I want to believe him, its just he is so scary big. Then Taylor speaks up. "I want Luke to be your personal security, but it won't work if you are afraid of him. He's big. It will keep a lot of people from approaching you. That's a good thing, right?"

I nod yes, still looking at the giant by side who is still on one knee like he is going to propose. Somehow that ridiculous vision in my head makes me smile. I look at Luke and he smiles back, almost like he knows what I am thinking. I look at Grey and Taylor and its obvious they haven't a clue. I look again at Luke and I am 100% certain he knows what I am thinking. He is grinning wide now, from ear to ear. He drops to both knees.

"Mame," he begins.

"Ana," I reply.

"Ms Steele,"

"Ana" I reply.

"Anastasia,"

I giggle and correct him again, more emphatically, "Ana!"

He takes a quick glance at Grey and Taylor, blesses himself quickly and blurts out "Ana!"

Everyone laughs. " then he pulls out an enormous ring. I can make out the initials USN, so I guess its his Navy ring. I didnt know he was in the Navy. He holds the ring out to me.

"With this ring, I promise to keep you safe. I promise no one will get near enough to even think about touching you. I promise to be available 24\7. Will you promise to listen, trust and obey me? Will you allow me to offer you my skills as a close protection officer?"

He has a sense of humor, his blue eyes are twinkling. I look at the ring. I am quite sure I could fit three or four fingers in it and it would still be big, but I like his style. I look up at him smiling and nod yes; he smiles back.

Then Taylor stands and announces, "This man has promised to protect you and you have agreed to obey him. What I have blessed, let no man tear asunder. I now pronounce you Protector and Protectee!"

We all have a good laugh, but I notice all three men look relieved. After a minute, Luke gets up and sits down in the empty chair. Almost immediately, the table quiets.

"Ana, I am sorry but we have to get serious now. Okay?"

" Okay," I answer a bit nervously.

"Who knew you would be in Seattle today?"

"No one. Even I didn't know I would be in Seattle today. Until, like, two in the morning, last night."

"Did you make any stops on your way here?"

"No, Wanda can be moody. If I stop, she may not start again."

"So you drove straight through?"

"Yes."

"Did you get or make any phone calls?"

"No, Taylor. The only person I spoke with was a homeless woman in the parking garage while I was waiting for the elevator."

All three men lean in closer to me as Taylor asks, "What did she say?"

"She asked me if I was going to interview with Mr Grey. I told her yes. She was on the cold cement and she looked so sad. I reached in my bag and handed her a ten dollar bill but she got angry. She said she didn't need my money. Her master would take care of her. Then she quieted and just said, " He won't like you."

The elevator came then and I got on. That's it. The next person I spoke to was a guard in the lobby and the receptionist of course."

Taylor looks for something on his phone and then slides it across the table to me. "Look at these women. Do you see anyone you recognize?"

There is only one. Its a vibrant blue eyed brunette with a big, bubbly smile. Its the homeless lady. She looks nothing like that today, but its her. I recognize the eyes. I point her out to Taylor. He thanks me but looks grim. I look at Grey and he looks devastated. He excuses himself and leaves the table.

"Who is she?" I ask. Neither Taylor or Sawyer answer. "She tried to shoot me, don't you think I have a right to know?"

Taylor motions with his head for Sawyer to leave. Once he is gone, he pulls out a folded paper, opens it up and slides it across the table to me.

"Read it," he orders, then adds, "Its a standard non disclosure agreement, an NDA. Whatever You hear about Mr Grey, whatever personal or confidential information he shares with you or in your presence, you can't share with anyone else. Do you understand?"

"You mean like his scars and his haphephobia?"

"Yes. For some reason, he let's his guard down around you. He trusts you."

"It isn't that I don't trust you, Ms Steele, its just another way of doing my job and protecting him. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Taylor. Of course I should sign an NDA. Do you have a pen please?"

He slides his pen to me and I quickly sign and push the paper back to him. "Now, back to the young lady. What is her name? Does she have a license to carry a gun? Is she a good shot? How long since Grey saw her last?"

Taylor blinks as I fire my questions at him. He hesitates before answering and then he is on a roll. "Her name is Leila Williams. She just obtained a license to carry a concealed weapon two days ago. Grey hasn't seen her or heard from her in three years. Until last week. She showed up at his home, unannounced. She managed to avoid the cameras, the alarms and then locks. I still haven't figured out how. She had a scene with Mr Greys housekeeper and ended up slitting her wrist. It wasn't a serious injury, more what they call a cry for help. She somehow managed to distract the hospital security and walked away. We have been searching for her ever since. When you confirmed Leila's identity, Grey took it very hard. He feels responsible for Leila because of his past connection to her and at the same time he feels responsible for your safety."

"I think I need to speak to him."

"He's in the bedroom but I am sure he is not sleeping."

"Thank you, for everything."

Taylor just smiles and nods. I stand up and head for the bedroom. I knock on the door gently, and he barks, "Leave me the fuck alone, Taylor!"

I enter and shut the door behind me. He is sprawled across the bed, face down. "It's not Taylor," I announce.

He immediately flips over, his eyes wide with disbelief, "Ana?"

"Yes, Grey, it is me."

"You shouldn't be here."

"You are my friend, of course I should be here."

"What did Taylor tell you?"

"Taylor had me sign an NDA and then he told me her name was Leila, she has a permit to carry and you haven't seen her in three years,"

"I saw her on security tapes she is like a ghost of the woman I knew. I did that to her. I destroyed her. I met you and put you in danger too."

I run over and jump on the bed next to him, making the mattress bounce. I position myself on my side and face him, my open palm holding my head. "Whatever has happened in the last three years, it wasn't your fault."

"How can you say that? You don't know. I hurt her. I told her to leave."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you ask her to leave?"

"Because. "

I groan in exasperation. "What? Did you beat her?" I ask with a grin.

His eyes immediately meet mine and I see the terror in them. He did. He beat her. My stomach turns and I feel its contents burning a path up my throat. I swallow, forcing it down and stare deep into his eyes. I know he would never intentionally hurt a woman but I also know he beat her. Leila. Christian beat Leila. How is that possible? Did she ask him to? Is he into kinky sex?

I take a long, slow breath. "Relax, " I whisper. "It will be okay." And I stroke his head as if he were a child. He turns his face away and buries it in the pillow and begins to sob. I want to rub his back but I know that's a no-go zone. He is ashamed and distraught.

"Talk to me, Grey." I demand but he ignores me. I decide to use the guilt card. "I'm your friend, Grey. I understand you. I almost took a bullet for you. Talk to me, please?"

"There is nothing to say. Leila and I had a sick relationship."

Okay, I think I understand what's happening now. It all makes sense. "You're a Dom."

"Past tense. I was a Dom. After Leila, I just could not do it anymore."

I have an internet friend who is married and she and her husband are into BDSM. I don't think either of them are sick, they just have different tastes.

So, Leila was your submissive." I state.

"You don't want to know this." He growls.

"You said you hurt her. Did she safe word?"

He laughs bitterly and explains, she would never safe word. She had no hard limits. She was a masochist and truly loved being restrained and beaten. It didn't matter if it was canes or whips or riding crops. She loved it and he was just as sick because he loved beating her.

I think about it and wonder how he ever got involved in such a controversial lifestyle. He has moved a littla away from me and is sitting up with his back against the headboard. He doesnt look as distraught as earlier, but he still looks pretty wrecked. I make a decision and ask him how he got introduced to S&M.

He stares at me in complete horror and opens his mouth and closes it about five times and then yells for Taylor.

The door flies open and Taylor looks at each of us closely before asking, "Sir?"

"Scotch. Find some. Now."

"Yes sir." Taylor replies and leaves.

He returns almost immediately with a fifth of Johnny Walker Black.

"Do you require a glass sir?"

"I can't speak for Grey, Taylor, but I would like a glass."

The expression on Taylor's face is priceless. He tries to recover, " I assumed you would be granting Mr Grey some privacy." He states all formal and stiff.

I laugh. "Taylor you know what they say about the word assume."

Taylor frowns and leaves, returning with two crystal on the rocks glasses and two bottles of water and sets them down on the nightstand.

"May I pour for you, sir?"

Grey hands him the bottle. Taylor pours two fingers in each glass. He picks up the water, but Grey yells, "Neat. I want mine neat."

"Me too!" I butt in. Taylor looks annoyed but says nothing. He hands Grey his glass and then hands me mine. I take a tiny taste as both men watch me intently. It burns like hell and takes my breath away. I smile, "Mmm, I like it." Grey laughs and pulls me close; Taylor frowns.

"I know what you're thinking, Taylor, but you're wrong. I would never abuse the trust Ms Steele has placed in me. Nevertheless, if it would make you feel better, you can stay and play chaperone and bartender too."

Taylor's stiff posture suddenly relaxes. "I would be honored, sir."

"Good. You may hear things you didn't know. I know this is unnecessary, but please don't repeat them."

"Understood, sir. Now just forget I am here until you need a drink."

"Okay, but dim the lights."

Immediately the room darkens. Grey slips an arm around my shoulder and I rest my head against his side. "Anastasia, where were we? Ah, I remember, my introduction to wonderful world of Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism otherwise known as BDSM."

I listen carefully as he drones on. I have never felt sexual or horny. Sex scares me. I am as asexual as a person could be. Grey was the opposite. He described himself as a desperately horny, but terrified of being touched teenager.

I was home schooled so I never had to face the same demons Grey did. I feel bad for him. Then he tells me about the neighbor, his mother's best friend, Elena. He goes on to explain how she slapped him and kissed him and saved his life by teaching him how to be her submissive.

I am puzzled. I ask how old she is. She was thirty five according to Grey and married. I am shocked. I try not to show it but it is really hard. I finish my drink in one long swallow and hold out my glass to Taylor. I ask Grey how old he was and he tells me fifteen. I am appalled and furious with this bitch of a woman, this pedophile bitch. I grab my drink from Taylor, and with one quick look I can tell he is equally furious but saying nothing.

I take a long sip of the straight scotch. It tastes better and doesn't burn as much.I finally ask him how long was he with her and he tells me five years as her sub and one year as her Dom. I feel sick. He defends hrr no matter what I say. He deserved the punishments, she made him who he is, she gave him the money to start his business, without her he would be nothing. He is completely blind to any fault in this woman. I look at Taylor, who at some point acquired a glass and is drinking with us. The bottle of scotch is almost empty. Grey is the slurring badly. I sigh. I do not want to hear anymore about this bitch. I burrow my head into Greys side and close my eyes. He leans down and kisses my cheek ever so gently. I fall asleep savoring the touch of his lips.

Grey looks down to hear my gentle snoring. He closes his eyes and is asleep almost instantly.

Taylor looks at the two broken souls, passed out in each others arms. Fucking Elena. He always knew she was twisted but never did he suspect how much damage she had done to Christian until tonight. Every dog has its day and Elena would have hers.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N

I am overwhelmed with the positive response to this story. Thank you all so much. You reviews encourage me to continue. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The jet must have hit some turbulance because I wake up on the floor with Grey tumbling down on top of me. We are both disoriented. Then I see a pair of mens shiny black shoes and black suit pants and recognize Taylor. I hear him sigh as I close my eyes to go back to sleep. I don't care if Grey is laying across me with his feet still up on the bed. He's warm. I think he's gone back to sleep too. I hear Taylor clear his throat and tell us its time to return to our seats. I try to open my eyes but a thousands sharp little knives start stabbing my eyeballs. I close them. I need sleep. I am almost asleep again when I feel myself being lifted up. I want to complain but my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth. I couldn't talk if I wanted to and I really don't want to. Every inch of my body hurts. My stomach is rolling around making me extremely nauseaus. Please, God, don't let me be sick. I feel the seat belt tighten around me and its like a bomb went off in my stomach. I immediately start hurling. Dry heaves. Its involuntary and I can't stop. I heave as my stomach convulses over and over again. I am exhausted. God, please let me die now. I have never felt so ashamed. Someone is tending to me. Removing my sweater which a quick look reveals is covered with long strings of disgusting mucous. I suddenly realize its Sawyer's big hands pulling off my jeans. A flare of panic hits me and he pauses, "You're okay Ana. It's me, Sawyer. You've been sick all over your clothes. We'll get new clothes, don't worry. Your thermals are fine. Would you like a sip of water?"

I shake my head no. The only thing I want is to crawl in a hole and die. Apparently I said that out loud because I can hear Sawyer laugh.

"If its any comfort, the boss is in rougher shape than you. He's giving Taylor a real hard time."

From somewhere my dry, hoarse voice asks, "Did he puke?"

"All over Taylor." Sawyer confides before busting into laughter.

"Oh no!" I exclaim.

"Its okay, Ana. Taylor always says cleaning up vomit is better than cleaning up blood or breaking up brawls."

I grunt an acknowledgement.

"I can walk! Let go of me." I squint my eyes to see a still drunk Christian Grey come staggering towards me. Sawyer catches him and shoves him in his seat. His shirt is gone. He's just wearing his suit pants and a white cotton undershirt. His feet are bare and his hair is a mess. He gives me a drunken lop sided smile. He looks so cute, I can't help it. I giggle.

Sawyer gets him buckled in while a very disgruntled Taylor, uses a towel to wipe Grey's vomit off his trousers. Right now, he looks like he much rather to be cleaning up blood, preferably Grey's blood. Sawyer hands me a breath mint, a bottle of water and two Advil. He directs me to take the Advil with a small sip of water. Then suck on the mint. Taylor is trying to get Grey to swallow some Advil, but Grey is being a stubborn ass.

"Mr Grey" I start.

He smiles beguilingly and slurs my name softly. "Anastasia. Call me Christian."

God, he is so adorable. He looks so much younger, there is an innocence to him now that is uncovered and naked to the world. I look up at Taylor and see the smile in his eyes if not on his lips.

"Christian," I start again, I hold out my hand to Taylor who drops the two Advil in them. "Open your mouth," I tell him. When he complies I toss in the Advil and Taylor hands him a glass of water. He washes them down, then turns to me again and smiles this sweet smile.

I can't help smiling back and adding, "Good boy."

Taylor announces that we are approaching the airport and getting ready to land. We are both to keep our seat belts on and stay in our seats. I am insulted. I would never take off my seatbelt during landing, do I look like I am crazy? I am quite sure Grey wouldn't do that either. He seems very concerned with safety. I remember how he turned off his phone. I am beginning to think Taylor worries too much.

He and Sawyer are no longer sitting up front. They are now directly adjacent to us on a long white leather bench-like couch with seatbelts that lines the wall. Grey grabs my hand and slurs my name happily. He has forgotten what he has told me about his past and why he wanted to get drunk. For a short time, he has forgotten everything that troubles him and he is carefree. It saddens me so much that there is no joy in his life, lots of money but no happiness.

He starts playing with my hair. He tells me I have beautiful hair. Then his hand gently knuckles my cheek and he says solemly that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever met. I burst out laughing. He is so silly.

I shouldn't have laughed. He lifts my hand to his mouth and to my horror, he gives it a sloppy kiss. I am embarrassed but not freaked out. Maybe if it was someone else, but it was just Grey. A still drunk Grey. I feel so relaxed with him. He takes my other hand now and brings it to his mouth saying my name with a touch of reverence. I can't help it, I giggle.

Taylor is telling him to keep his hands to himself or he will change seats with him. He puts his hands in his lap and leans over and whispers loud enough for the pilot to hear, "Taylor is no fun. I may have to fire him." He leans his head back and closes his eyes.

I laugh, along with Sawyer. Taylor is grumbling under his breath, "Fucking right, no fun. I wish you would fire me..." I can't catch the rest but Sawyer and I can't stop laughing. Suddenly I feel a bump and realize we are on the ground. Damn, I never even had a chance to worry. Taylor and Sawyer both whip their phones out and power them up. The cabin is filled with sounds of vibrating phones pinging with email and text alerts.

I see the smile disappear from Sawyers face and Taylor is looking grim again. He presses a code into his phone and is talking with someone. They must be important as his tone is very deferential. He heads away from us to the front of the cabin. I look beside me to Grey. He has fallen asleep again. He looks so peaceful. I put my head back and close my eyes. Without meaning to, I fall asleep.

I don't know how long I slept but I awake to Sawyer calling my name. I open my eyes. The knives are gone. I feel better, well, at least I feel human and thoroughly is there as well. He has a cup of tea in his hand and requests I drink it as he has something important to discuss with me.

This does not sound good. I take a deep sip of tea and feel the heat make its way through my body. I turn to Grey, but he is not there. Taylor notices. I don't think he misses anything.

"We put Mr Grey back to bed. We have a problem, Ms Steele." He turns on the overhead TV and there is a picture of me plastered to the screen and HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN written across the bottom of the screen. I am horrified. This can't be happening.

"Your roommate, Kate Kavanaugh has initiated a nationwide search for you. She has used her father's media outlets and implied Mr Grey has abducted you. There were over 200 members of the media waiting to interview you and Mr Grey at Tetorboro Airport, along with members of the police requesting the pleasure of your company. Neither one of you were capable of conversation so we refueled and took off. We have landed in Philadelphia now . We have picked up a new flight crew and had the jet cleaned and stocked and we will be taking off again soon and returning to Seattle. Mr Greys home has been secured and we can take a helicopter there and avoid the press. I have spoken with Ms Kavanaugh and her father. She refuses to back down or retract her insinuations. She wants to speak with you, as does Dr Flynn, I might add. Can you please contact her and try to get her to back down? By the way, we also managed to pick up clean clothes for everyone, so if you want a quick shower and clean clothes, its doable.

I am mortified. Grey has been nothing but over the top kind to me and my roomate accuses him of kidnapping me? Has she lost her mind? I grab the phone out of Taylor's hands, furious with Kate. I click on contacts and touch her name. It rings twice and she answers.

" Kate!" I yell, "What the hell have you done?"

"Ana! Where are you? Are you okay? What has he done to you?" She asks me, in the frantic style that is hysterical Kate.

"Kate! Stop this right now! I don't care what you have to do, but you better clear this up. Christian Grey is my friend, he saved my life. How dare you imply he has abducted me! I am so furious with you Kate."

"But Ana,"

"No, Kate, there are no buts. I am fine. I am safe or I was safe until you told the whole country to look for me. You are making things worse. You have to stop this right now! I mean it Kate. Call off the press."

There is a long silence. Then Kate answers, " I am sorry if I misunderstood, but I have heard rumors about Grey. You don't want to be associated with him, Ana. He is dangerous. I just want you to be safe. I was just trying to protect you. I can say I was mistaken, I can say you are fine, but I can't call off the media. I am sorry but they are going to follow their instincts. There is a story here, Ana, I'm not sure what it is, but they sense it too."

"Fix it, Kate. Quickly. Grey doesn't know yet, but when he finds out, he will go ballistic."

"Alright, I will try. I'll call you later. This phone or yours."

"My phone is dead. This one for now."

"Okay, I love you Ana."

"Goodbye, Kate," I reply, my choice of words and tone making sure she knows I am still pissed.

I let my head sink back into the leather and close my eyes. I suddenly feel so helpless. My eyes fill with tears as I realize Grey will hate me. Damn Kate. Why couldn't she just mind her own business. I start to cry openly.

Taylor comes over and gets down on one knee. "What's wrong? What did she say?" He asks.

I start to sob, I can't help it. "He is going to hate me." I explain.

"He won't hate you, Ana. He likes you. Kate Kavanaugh, now that's another story."

"He will hate me, Taylor, its all my fault."

"Its not your fault." He reaches into his back pants pocket and pulls out a clean folded handkerchief. He hands it to me and tells me to wipe my tears and blow my nose. Its like having Ray there. Now I break down completely. I am bent double and crying hysterically. Taylor starts to pat my back and I lean into him the way I did with Ray when he would comfort me.

"What is it, Ana? Tell me and I will fix it."

I cry even harder. "You remind me of my dad, Ray." I finally get out, haltingly, between sobs.

"Would you like to call your Dad?"

I cry harder. Taylor puzzles over my behavior and then he gets it. "You can't call him, can you?"

I shake my head from side to side. No, I can't call him anymore. I swallow the lump in my throat and try to explain. "He was in a car accident three months ago. He is alive but the doctors say he is in a permanent vegetative state. I made them fight to keep him alive then they told me he will probably never recover. Oh, Taylor, I miss him so much."

Taylor holds me close, keeps patting my back and making soothing noises. It feels so good, so safe, just like Ray. When I finally calm down, he tells me not to give up. Ray is a Marine and Marines don't quit.

And that's how Grey found us. Me, half off my seat, arms wrapped around Taylors neck, my face buried into his chest, his shirt soaking up my tears, his hands stroking my back while Taylor knelt in front of me, his arms around me, his face nestled in my hair as he whispered encouragement to me.

"Don't you have something to do,Taylor? "

I feel the muscles in Taylor's arms clench and I know he's pissed. Grey is pissed too, but I don't understand why. It doesn't matter. I need to stop this now. I ease back from Taylor and show Grey my tear streaked face.

"Anastasia! What is it? What happened?"

"You're going to hate me."

"Anastasia, I could never hate you."

Then he looks at Taylor and asks, "Where are we?" I choose that moment to flee to the bathroom in the bedroom. I don't want to see his reaction when Taylor tells him. I see a bag outside the bathroom. I peek inside and see a matching bra and panty set in white. This is my bag. I grab it and enter the bathroom. After relieving myself, I decide to take a shower. Probably the first good decision I've made in the last 24 hours. I find body wash and shampoo and a big thick, white bathrobe made from a soft velour. Ten minutes later, I step out of the shower and feel good. I find the blow dryer and work on drying my hair. I find a new toothbrush and scrub my teeth. Deodorant and a spritz of Chanel and I am back to feeling like my usual self, maybe even better. I wrap the luxurious bathrobe around me and grab the bag and step into the bedroom.

I gasp when I realize I am not alone. Then I relax when I realize its just Grey. Something is different, though. There is a tension in the air. I can feel it. I look at him and his posture is different. I can't tell what it is, just that something about him is different.

He looks me in the eye then and says, "How could you think I would ever hate you? How? I thought we were friends. I thought you trusted me. I trust you. I have shared more with you than anyone, ever and you think I would hate you because your roommates fucking crazy? Anastasia! Come here!"

I walk towards him, feeling awkward, vulnerable, and mostly naked. All I am wearing is the damn robe. I feel warm as I approach him and there is a strange stirring sensation in my abdomen. I stop before I get to him. I am confused. I need to get dressed.

He looks at me and his eyes darken. He sighs. " Don't be afraid. Its okay. Why don't you get dressed and we can talk later."

Then he turns and leaves. I am left standing there like an idiot. Then I realize I feel wet. There. I start to tremble. No one and nothing has ever done that. I am supposed to be dead sexually. Oh, fuck. I need Flynn and I need him right now. I go to the door and call Sawyer. I have bothered Taylor enough today. He comes immediately, of course. I explain I need a phone to call my shrink.

He looks a little alarmed and pulls out his phone and hands it to me. I take it and thank him. Then, I turn and quickly shut the door. I text his number and start typing. I tell him everything. He just let's me text. Finally, I tell him about the bedroom scene with Grey and me in the bathrobe. I tell him what happened. I don't understand. How does a woman who's been diagnosed with a sexual arousal disorder suddenly find herself wet? Does that mean I was aroused? How can that be?

Flynn texts back, "Interesting. Have you had any breathing problems?"

I tell him about the bullet hitting the passenger window as I was looking out. I explain how Grey knelt over me to keep from touching me and eventually got me to breathe. Then I tell him about the Stephen incident and how Taylor caught me and got me breathing again the same way Grey did. Flynn wants to know if I feel safe and I can honestly tell him I have never felt safer. I explain Grey has even assigned me my own body guard.

Flynn wants to see me when I get back to Seattle. He says as long as I feel safe, to just keep on doing whatever I am doing because its good for me. I ask why is it these men can touch me and no one else can?

They have all at one point carried me. A week ago that would not have been possible. He cautions me to be careful. The success I have had with Grey and company does not mean I can shake hands with a stranger and not have breathing issues. He will discuss this in depth when he sees me. In the meantime, I should remain cautious. I ask if I am being sexually aroused by Grey. He replies I am the only one who knows the answer to that and we can discuss it more when he sees me.

Okay. I promise to contact him as soon as I am settled. He asks me where I will be staying and I realize I don't have a clue. I trust Grey though and I am sure it will be some place nice. Then I thank him for his time and promise to call. He assures me I can call him anytime, day or night and not to hesitate. If I find myself thinking about whether or not I should call him, I need to call.

I dress slowly and slip on a Penn State jogging outfit. I pick the phone back up and look at Flynn's responses; I see, interesting, how did that make you feel? Jeez, I was kind of expecting more, but maybe he is saving that for the face to face. Except for the last part about calling him, the conversation was all me and very little Flynn. I can't help it; I feel disappointed and just a little let down.

I thought that allowing virtual strangers to touch me would have meant something big. Instead, I got, "and how did that make you feel." I told him, it made me feel safe and that Grey was special.

Its true, or was true. Grey makes me feel safe except when I was just wearing that robe and he kept looking at me funny. I think he was aroused. I should have looked but I didn't, his eyes always mesmerize me. I understand that somehow, something about him caused my body to respond. If I am honest with myself, I know he wanted to touch me. I almost want to know what that would feel like, but even if I could stand his touch and maintain my breathing, he would have to see my scars. They are horrendous by any standard. My breast are disfigured. Seeing me would not only turn him off, it would give him nightmares. He did the right thing by leaving. Sadly, I did the right thing by letting him go.

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	5. Chapter 5

A/N

Thank you for your enthusiastic response. I hope you all enjoy. Your reviews are appreciated.

The flight to Seattle has been uneventful. Grey seems to have distanced himself from me and although my pride is a little dented, I am sure it is the right thing for us. He no longer sits beside me but is huddled with Taylor and Sawyer continuously. We got off the jet and walked a couple hundred feet to board the helicopter. Grey ran ahead to speak with the pilot.

Something about the helicopter scared me. I don't know what it was but I balked. There was no way I was getting on board. Sawyer tried reasoning with me but I was adamant. The whine of the engines, the thump thump sound of the rotor blades, the backwash from the rotor blades, it was just too much for me. I could feel myself letting go and then everything went black.

From far away I hear their excited voices. Taylor bellowing for Grey. Sawyer insisting he didn't see any signs of respiratory distress until I collapsed. Its cold, very cold and I am getting colder still. The chaos of their frantic voices is fading. I feel someone doing chest compressions but I don't think anything will work. I am not surprised but I wish I had more time.

Then I feel an angry fire wrap itself around me. Its Grey. My sweet Christian. He is urging me to breathe, begging me to breathe, I feel something wet hit my cheek and then I feel his wet unshaven face burrow into my neck as he sobs my name. I want to touch him, to comfort him, to let him know I am okay with dying and suddenly I realize I am not okay with dying. How can I let my death add to Christian's painful memories. I hear him beg once more for me to breathe and feel the sharp pinch of the injection and the burn of the medicine hitting my blood. I try to breathe but I have no control of anything. I feel like I am tumbling through space, like there is no gravity. Then everything went blacker yet.

I came to in Grey's arms, aboard the helicopter, on oxygen. "No hospital," I gasp. Grey clutches me closer. "Anastasia! Thank God. I thought l lost you."

I smile up at him weakly, "Christian." I say his name on purpose. On some level I don't understand, it was important for me to say his name. I am woozy with the drug and know I will probably be out a while so I just whisper, "Take care of me."

"Always." He replies in a trembling voice and I feel my eyes close and sleep takes me.

GPOV

I hand Ana's limp body to Taylor, trusting him to protect her and treat her like the precious soul she is while I undo my harness and jump off Charley Tango. Taylor gently accepts her body into his arms, ducks and moves quickly towards the elevators. I, too, duck and run and catch up to him as the elevator doors open. I hold out my arms and he returns her to me.

Once inside my home, I head directly for my bedroom. I know Taylor is not going to approve of this, but I know it is right. Its where she would want to be, beside me, where I can keep her safe.

Gail comes in and asks if she can be of assistance. I tell her no, but to let Flynn in here as soon as he arrives. I know Taylor has been in touch with him. I am certain he will be here momentarily. If I am honest, that concerns me. What if he doesn't approve? What if he tells me I can't see her? What if he tells me I am too fucked up to be around her? I pick up her hand and pull the covers up around her. Her tiny hand feels so cold. I hold it to my mouth and kiss it tenderly and then start crying. I am an emotional mess when Flynn enters. I turn away and wipe my face with my shirt.

He stands still for a moment and then walks into my bathroom and returns with a box of Kleenex. He hands them to me without a word, his eyes on Ana. He leans down and touches the pulse in her neck, then glances at his watch. Then he lays one hand across her chest and again looks at his watch. I realize he is timing her respirations. Then he turns to me and places one hand on my shoulder, a gesture of support and assures me she is fine.

I let out the breath that I did not know I was holding. "How long will she sleep?" I ask.

"As long as she needs to." Flynn replies.

I am annoyed. Why can't he ever give me a straight answer?

"Come," he requests gently, " Let's go to your study. She'll be fine."

I follow him reluctantly and order Sawyer to stay by her side. We enter my study and sit. Its my study though, so our usual positions are reversed. I look at him from behind my desk, "John, would you like coffee?"

"How about a spot of tea Christian?"

I call Gail on the house phone and request coffee, tea and something to eat.

"So, Christian. Tell me what's going on. How the hell did you two meet?"

I explain about the interview and how I learned she had haphephobia too. I explain how we first touched. I show him the pictures on my phone. I smile at the memory. I tell him how she makes me smile and how safe I make her feel. I am so proud when I say it, until Flynn asks if anyone else made her feel safe. Annoying Brit, I reluctantly admit she felt safe with Taylor as well. Then I add, she was afraid of Sawyer at first, but then she felt safe with him too.

He picked up on that and wanted clarification. I explained in the beginning, when they first met, she was very intimidated by his size, after all, Sawyer is huge, but his sense of humor won her over. I explain about the mock ceremony Taylor conducted and her agreeing to be his protectee.

There was a knock at the door than and Mrs Jones came in with two platters of breakfast, Sawyer following behind her with a tray holding carafes of coffee, tea and juice.

We eat breakfast and continue to talk. It takes two hours for him to suck everything out of me. I am now exhausted. Totally and completely drained. I want to ask him if its okay that she is sleeping in my bed but I am afraid to. I don't think I could handle him telling me no. He announces he is going to check on Ana, and, just in case I am wondering, its fine for her to sleep in my bed as long as she has no objections. The minute she is not okay with it, I need to move her into the guest room. Lastly, I need to think about having Kate Kavanaugh here as a a guest for her(I grimace painfully,) finding Leila Williams and to prepare myself for a jealous Elena. I laugh at the last and explain Elena doesn't have a jealous bone in her body.

I expected him to laugh but he doesn't. Instead he insists that Ana is never be left alone with Elena. I am to make sure all his staff are aware of this. I explain Ana knows all about Elena and if there is a scene, it will be started by Ana who feels like Elena took advantage of me.

He sits back down and leans forward and tells me someday I will see Elena for what she really is, but until then, and as long as Ana is staying under my roof, I must be especially vigilent whenever Elena is around and not encourage her presence. He assures me that Elena will see Ana as a huge threat and will do everything in her power to remove her from my home and my influence. Again, he repeats, Elena is dangerous, do not underestimate her.

I promise to be careful and say what needs to be said to assuage him. I know Elena better than anyone. She would never hurt someone under my protection. Never. Nevertheless, I will pass his concerns on to security and see to it they are not left alone.

The day passes slowly. Flynn wants to come back after dinner and speak with Ana and I together. Detective Clark wanted to come by and take everyone's statement but as Ana is still sedated, there was no point. The rooftop shooter was definitely a pro; there were no shell casings, that, the distance and the accuracy made it a foregone conclusion. There is no progress in the search for Leila. Detective Clark feels someone is harboring her. He is not alone. Taylor feels the same way. As for the security breach in Escala, Taylor has some interesting ideas. He has Barney checking into the whereabouts of my ex sub's.

Security has not shared any information about that break in with the police. However, the graffiti spray painted all over the walls referred to the 'gold digging whore' so it would appear to be friends of Leila. Their body silhouette certainly seemed female. I can't believe my past is impacting my future like this. I was good to those girls. I feel like a victim. Which reminds me, I really need to commend Reynolds. He did a good job protecting Mrs Jones, but more importantly, he didn't play hero. He also was successful in getting a clean up crew to remove the graffiti and other damage.

I think over my mental to do list and I have completed most of it. I have spoken to my mother and reassured her but requested all family to stay away until this threat has been neutralized, with the exception of my father for police interviews. It really wasn't what she wanted to hear, but she graciously accepted it.

I have been in touch with our PR department and they feel I need to make a statement with Ana. I shot that down immediately. My head PR guy is a pain in the ass. He is not letting this go, but I see no reason to cave.

Taylor and I decided when this first went down, that we would leave Ana out of this as much as possible. The truth is very simple, even if it is a little unbelievable. I don't know why everyone is focusing on the plane trip. All I was trying to do is keep her safe. I tried to explain to my Dad when he was here earlier to prepare everyone for the police interviews. She was in my car when someone tried to shoot her. Taking her with me was the only way I could protect her. Dad called bullshit on that. Finally, I gave in and told him how she has haphephobia, and sees John Flynn like me. I am so frustrated, I didn't kidnap her. Dad asked me if I liked her. I confess she is my friend, my first female friend aside from Elena. He makes a face at the mention of Elena. I don't know why he doesn't like her. Mom does.

I try to explain how sweet Ana is, and how she likes to laugh. I show him a picture on my phone and he immediately sends it to his phone. He assures me everything will be fine and not to worry. Right. I didn't tell him about her breathing problems. I think I'll hold off on that.

Sawyer texts me that Ana is waking up. I look at my watch, its 3 pm. I enter my bedroom and dismiss Sawyer. I take his place in the chair beside the bed and watch her slowly awaken. She twists and turns, and then runs a hand through her hair. She burrows her head into my pillows and groans to my delight.

"Good afternoon, Anastasia. How are you feeling?"

She jumps and let's out a muted scream as she sees me and then recognizes me. She sits up and scratches her head and then announces she needs to pee and stands. I point her to the bathroom and ask if she needs any help. She looks at me, horrified by the thought and shakes her head no. I smile at her reaction. She is so modest. She comes back and I show her the clothes I had Ryan pick up for her. I don't know if she is accustomed to anything but casual, but I had my Neiman Marcus shopper select a variety of clothes, starting with underwear. There are pants, skirts, dresses, everything, you name it.

She is aghast and wants me to return everything. I just look at her and let her know that is not happening. I explain she needs to look good for the police interview and at some point we may need to address the media. Her head sags, and she says,"I don't think I could do that." Her voice sad and forlorn.

"Then we won't do that."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is that simple."

She walks over to me then, there are tears just starting a trail down each cheek, as she starts to speak. "I am not normal. I can't do the things everyone else does. Going out to dinner can be a life or death experience. I have to be very careful. If I had stayed home, none of this would have happened."

I hold out my arms and she comes to me. I bury my nose in her hair and catch her scent. "I know it hasn't been easy for you, but I can help. You make me smile, you make me forget I am a monster."

"Stop that! You can't do that, you can't call yourself that. Its not true and every time you say it, you believe it even more."

"I told you what I did!"

"You would never have done that on your own. It was that bitch and her dirty propaganda."

"You don't even know what she told me!"

"I don't have to. She is a lying pedophile bitch and she will feed you lie after lie and you will believe every one. Does she borrow money from you? I bet she does. I bet she never pays it back, either. She probably has you convinced you would never have succeeded without her." I look at his face and know what I am saying is hitting home.

"What did she tell you, that you would end up dead or in prison? Did she tell you that you were different, that you lack the capacity to love? All those things she told you, time after time, all the lessons she beat into you were all her sick, warped mind. She is the one incapable of love, not you! She brainwashed you, Christian, don't you see?"

I watch as all emotion leaves his face. "Elena is my friend. I am sorry you feel this way. I will try to make sure your paths don't cross. Now, please excuse me, I will be in my study." And he leaves.

I am so mad at him. I give his back the finger and then I lay on the bed again and cry myself to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

I lay glumly across the bed. My tears have dried. I try to be objective. It's not my place to criticize his friends, I barely know him. Yet, just the memory of him defending her, brings tears to my eyes. I sit up, cross my legs and lean back against the headboard. Odds are, if he hasn't recognized the the wrongness of her actions after all this time, he's not going to.

Its probably some kind of defensive reaction. He can't accept that he allowed her to abuse him so he buys into every lie she ever told him. I may have been abused, but at least I knew I was being abused.

There's a knock at the door and I call out to whoever it is to come in. Its Sawyer. He very carefully leaves the door ajar.

"Are you okay, Ana?"

"Of course."

He looks at me carefully and sits. "You don't look okay. Mr Grey doesn't look okay either. Taylor asked me to check on you."

"Tell Taylor I am fine. Grey and I had words about his choice of friends."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning Elena is a sick bitch."

He very deliberately says nothing but I am sure he agrees with me. "So," I ask, "What's new?"

He smiles devilishly and replies, "New York, New Jersey, New Mexico," his reply tapers off as I roll my eyes. He takes notice then and points out, "A word to the wise, Mr Grey finds rollings ones eyes rude and offensive. I recommend avoid doing it at all costs."

"Yeah, well, Grey can just go scratch with a broken bottle. I find it an expressive means of communication."

Sawyer laughs and adds, " Just remember I told you so."

"You better watch it, Sawyer. Everybody hates an I-told-you-so." And we both crack up.

His phone vibrates and he pulls it out. He's received a text. I see him stiffen ever so slightly and tells me a business partner of Grey's is coming up and he would prefer we stay out of sight. He gets up from his chair to shut the door but not before I hear the sound of high heels.

Sawyer looks uncomfortable. I could even go so far as to say he is distinctly nervous. Something is not right. All of a sudden, I know what it is. The pedophile bitch is here. I feel righteous anger rise inside of me. I need to see this bitch. I jump off the bed and head for the door. Sawyer immediately blocks me.

"Don't , Ana, she's not worth it. Let it go." He cautions.

"I'm not going to do anything, I just want to see if I can get a glimpse of her."

"Botox blond in black leather, that's what she looks like. Please, Ana, don't do this."

"Did Grey order you to keep me in here?"

"No. Taylor doesn't want her to see you."

"Why?"

"He's concerned she may consider you a threat to her relationship with Mr Grey."

" I need a cup of tea."

"I'll go get it. You stay here, okay?"

"Sure." I reply with fingers crossed.

I wait for him to leave and count to twenty slowly. Then I open the door, and let out a muffled scream when the big lug jumps in front of me out of fucking nowhere. I can't help it, I burst out laughing, which in turn causes Sawyer to crack up too. Then I hear someone clear their throat and the clicking of high heels. Oh shit.

Taylor is at the end of the corridor glaring at Sawyer. Then, the black leather clad bitch comes into view with Grey standing casually beside her.

"Darling, did they just come out of your bedroom?" She asks in her pretentious voice that just the sound of it alone has me ready to puke.

Then, in a stage whisper, she adds, "You never used to share, Christian, but with the staff? Really."

Then she looks me up and down and says, "So, Missy, what's your name? And please explain exactly what you were doing in your hosts private bedroom?"

This bitch is asking for it, hell, she is begging for it. "I just woke up. Christian and I had a late night." I giggle and add, " He really knows how to keep a girl busy."

She turns to look at Christian, "Are you serious? Have you even had her tested? Oh, darling, you can do so much better than this slut. You don't need some two bit whore in your home. Before the week is out she will have fucked every man on your staff."

"At least they are all over 18." I toss out at her as Sawyer tries to lead me back in the bedroom.

She pivots immediately, pulls free from Grey and charges me. Her eyes are narrowed and blazing with anger. "What's that supposed to mean?" She demands angrily.

I lean forward and get right in the bitch's botoxed face, and whisper "fucking child molestor!" And without hesitation she jabs her fist right into my face, knocking me back, her ring breaking the skin. I can feel blood driping out my nose from the god damned bitch. I put my head down and start to charge. I'm going to ram my skull into that botoxed face and keep on head butting her till its nothing but a pile of mush and broken bones. I forgot about Sawyer though. He grabbed me from behind while Taylor grabbed her, but not before several of her overly long, artificial nails clawed my face. I stretch my hand and grab a hank of her hair and pull for all I am worth. I scream curses at her and she screams threats right back at me. It is a nasty, low down cat fight. Sawyer finally tosses me over his shoulder, just as I feel the handful of hair I have pulling on finally come free. I grin victoriously and wave the strands in the air gleefully while she screeches in agony. Her face has a look of horror on it and Taylor looks like he's having a hard time holding her back. Its almost comical except I am bleeding on Sawyer's white shirt, probably his suit too.

My last glimpse of her was her trying to break loose from Taylor. Her hair is a mess, as is her makeup. She looks like an old hag with a big bald spot. Christian just looks plain horrified. Taylor is beyond annoyed; I don't think anyone will be escaping his wrath, not me, not Sawyer, not even Grey. I do not look forward to dealing with either him or Christian later. Sawyer is taking the stairs to the second floor two at a time, probably terrified the pedophile bitch will get free and he will have to get in the middle to keep us from killing each other. He throws open a door, kicks it shut and then locks it.

He sighs with relief and sets me down on the bed. He pulls out the ever present handkerchief and hands it to me to staunch the blood.

"Really?" He asks. "Did you have to do that?"

I start to smile but it turns into a grimace.

"Fuck. The boss isn't going to like this." He picks up the house phone and asks Gail to bring him ice and the first aid kit.

Taylor accompanies Mrs Jones carrying a large metal first aid kit. He knocks briskly and Sawyer opens the door. I am still on the bed except now I am laying down, not sitting up. Taylor sits on the side of the bed and tilts my face from side to side. He says nothing, but I am in no doubt of how he feels.

"Why didn't you pack her nostril?" He spits out at Sawyer as he opens some long, cyndrical shaped gauze pads and proceeds to pack them in my right nostril.

I would be a liar if I said it didn't hurt. I try not to show any reaction, but he jabbed the last one into a particularly sensitive spot. I can't help the yelp of pain I let out. He apologizes and looks disturbed. Then he grabs some 2x2 gauze pads and starts disinfecting the claw marks. I ask Taylor to clean them real good because a bitch like that might have rabies. He gives me a grim smile, and scrubs therm harder.

As he waits for the disinfectant to dry before applying an antibiotic ointment, he mentions that normal people avoid rabid creatures at all costs. I remind him I am far from normal. He grunts. I ask where the bitch is and he finally grins. Reynolds had to drive her to the hospital as she hurt her wrist. Christian is talking to his father, trying to figure out what he is going to say to explain your injuries.

I suggest he tell the truth. Taylor shakes his head no. Taylor explains detective Clark will be here this evening and having him interview Elena for her side of the story is never going to happen, I can see his point. Then I suggest if he can get Kate here before Clark we could say we had a fight.

Taylor cocks his head to one side, considering it. He agrees, it might just work. The only other alternative they can come up with is I injured it in a nightmare, but that's thin, really thin. He finishes putting on the ointment and checks on his handy work. He purses his lips and I can tell he's not happy. He opens up some sterile non stick pads and places them over the abrasions, alongside my nose and under my eye. Then he snaps open a cold pack and places it under by eye and along my nose.

Just then Grey walk in. He takes one long look at me and turns on Sawyer and yells, "Where the fuck were you?"

Sawyer says nothing, his eyes downcast. This just seems to wind him up more. He takes turns castigating first Sawyer and then Taylor, until finally I can't take out any more and burst into tears.

He is by my side in a heartbeat, trying to comfort me, apologizing and stroking my hair ever so gently. It takes me a while to stop the tears and swallow the sobs that want to engulf me. He dismisses both Sawyer and Taylor and lays down beside me. He lays flat and pulls me close so I am on my side.

I can't explain why laying beside him like this feels so good, but it does. I nestle my head against his shoulder and relax for the first time since I heard her heels click across the great room.

I ask him please not to blame Sawyer or Taylor.

He looks at me like I am crazy. He explains they both had orders to keep me safe. He motions with his hand towards my face and declares, "This isn't safe." Then he goes on grumbling that he ought to fire the two of them because fucking Flynn is going to have his ass.

I don't understand until he explains Flynn warned him something like this might happen and he was to guard against it. He grunts.

I want to fight with him but I just don't have the energy. Instead, I start committing to memory what it feels like to lay beside Christian. First and foremost, I feel safe. Second is his scent. If I live to be a hundred, if I never saw him again I don't think I would ever be able to forget his smell. It is a unique blend of body wash, after shave, deodorant and just plain Christian. I drink it in whenever he is close and for me it has become an elixir for life's problems.

We don't get much together time because Taylor has managed to get Kate here. I am relieved and pissed at the same time. We head downstairs to meet with her in Christian's study.

She gets hysterical when she sees me and runs at Christian. Taylor successfully intercepts her and restrains her. It takes several minutes to get her to calm down long enough to listen. I explain that I got into a cat fight with a business partner of Christian's. Thanks to Kate, a detective will be interviewing me later and we really don't want the person I fought with interviewed. I explain the police would find a fight between us understandable and that we made up afterwards, again, understandable. I see her eyes narrow as she tries to figure out who I really fought with. Finally, she agrees but tells us when she finds out who gave me the black eye and clawed me, she is going to give them a black eye. I smile and agree, anything to get this mess straightened out.

Christian suggests we go to the TV room for a little girl talk. He shows us where it is and asks if I am hungry. I look at him like he is crazy. My insides are all twisted with stress, I am not sure if I will ever eat again. The thought of swallowing is repugnent.

The TV room is ridiculously big, but then so is the flat screen mounted on the wall. Its an 85" Sony I can only imagine the picture, but we didn't come here to watch TV, we need to talk.

I found out later that while I was giving Kate hell for not trusting me, Christian was giving Sawyer and Taylor hell. Sawyer's excuse was he just didn't know where to touch me. His hands are like Paul Bunyon's. If he picks me up at the waist, he will be inadvertently touching my ass or my no go zone in the front. Since he was behind me, if he grabbed by the arm pits, he would be touching my breasts.

Apparently, Taylor said pretty much the same thing. Mrs Lincoln is so small, he hesitated, not wanting to hurt her.

Christian then announced Taylor broke Elena's right wrist. When I found that out, I wanted to cheer. Poor Taylor, though, he had to look suitably shame-faced for Christian's sake. I know Taylor hates the pedophile bitch every bit as much as I do, so it must have been hard for him.

Just before five, Christian's father arrives. After speaking with Christian, they make a special trip to the media room to see me and one look at his reaction is enough to tell me he is not happy.

He goes over to Kate and asks to see her hands. Kate proudly shows her well manicure hands. Then he examines her face. The. He turns on Christian, "For Gods sake, how do you expect to pull this off? She looks like she just stepped out of Vogue. Clark is never going to buy it, which means he will dig harder to find out what you're hiding."

Christian calls Taylor and asks for advice. Taylor agrees to take care of it and leads her away. She comes back twenty minutes later. Her hair is a mess, her lip is bleeding and the knuckles are one hand are scraped and bleeding as well. There is no doubt she has either been attacked or in a fight. She has a huge grin on her face. Her bottom lip is swelling and she looks very proud of herself.

Frankly I am amazed. Kate and pain don't go in the same sentence. I want to ask so badly what did Taylor do, but I am afraid what ever magic spell he has cast over her would disappear and whiney, spoiled Kate would show up.

We all sit down to dinner and then whiney Kate turns up. It hurts to hold a fork, her lip hurts, she never should have agreed and then someone named Elliot shows up and invites himself to dinner, sitting down next to Kate and promising to protect her from his brother. Elliot turns out to be Christian's older brother and seems to be enamored of Kate. The attraction is mutual. Clark and Flynn show up within minutes of each other and just as the table cleared.

Clark takes one look at me and glares at Christian. It pisses me off, it really does. I apologize for my appearance and explain when Kate and I first caught up with each other, the fur really flew. Once we had a chance to calm down, apply first aid and listen to each other, we are back to best friends forever.

He doesn't answer me but looks at Carrick and asks him to lead the way. Half an hour later Clark has been dealt with and leaves. He recorded our conversation and will have it typed up and return with the statement for me to sign. I am just glad this is over when I realize its only just beginning.

With everything that has happened, its hard to believe there are still one and possibly two people out there dedicating themselves to ending my existence. I never thought of it like that. I always thought I am okay with dying until yesterday. Since meeting Christian I suddenly understand how much I missed out on. Now, I want it back. I don't want to die without ever having been kissed. Hell, I don't want to die a virgin. If this experience has taught me anything its that I have to try harder than ever before, I have to be brave and trust others. Its a good thing Flynn is here. I really need him.


	7. Chapter 7

"Taylor." Flynn calls.

"Sir," he responded respectfully, but looking very uncomfortable.

"Describe to me exactly what happened."

"Mrs Lincoln entered the apartment. We were not expecting her. I was alerted to her presence in the elevator and requested Sawyer to keep Ms Steele in the bedroom. Apparently, he was not successful.

As I escorted Mrs Lincoln to Mr Grey, we became aware of a muffled scream and then laughter. Grey nodded for me to investigate. I found Ana and Sawyer laughing hysterically in the hallway just outside of the master bedroom."

"What was your reaction, Taylor."

"I was extremely annoyed. We had been asked to keep them apart and now that was impossible. I know Mrs Lincoln has never given up on Mr Grey returning to his old lifestyle. The media has been full of questions regarding Ms Steele. I felt that Mrs Lincoln would consider Ms Steele a threat to her relationship with Mr Grey. Now was her opportunity to try and belittle and insult Ms Steele in front of Mr Grey, thereby diminishing Ms Steele's character and derailing the relationship."

"Is that what she did?"

"Yes sir."

Flynn turned his attention away from Taylor. "Sawyer. Why didn't you stay in the bedroom?"

"I tried. She wanted to see her and see what she looked like. I told her she was a botoxed blond in black leather and she wasn't missing anything. I explained it was my job to keep them apart that Mrs Lincoln might consider her a threat.

Ms Steele relented and agreed to stay in the bedroom but she wanted a cup of tea. Of course, she volunteered to get it but I assured her I would go. I didn't trust her though and once outside the room, I plastered myself against the wall and waited. Sure enough, thirty seconds later she pops out of the bedroom and I pivot in front of her. She squeeled in alarm before she recognized me and then she cracked up, which got me going until I heard Taylor clear his throat. Then I heard her heels and knew we were dead meat.

She asked Ana her name. She implied Grey was sharing her favors with the staff and that he could do better. She said by the end of the week Ana would have, uh, had sexual relations with every man on Grey's staff; that's when Ana tossed out, "At least they're over 18," After that, it went down hill fast. Mrs Lincoln charged Ana, they traded insults but when Ana called her a fu, uh, well, you don't need her exact language, uh, that's when Mrs Lincoln punched her in the nose. "

"Wrong, Sawyer. I want her exact words that precipitated the blow."

"She got up close and called her a' fucking child molester.' That's when Mrs Lincoln clocked her."

"What if she'd pulled a gun or a knife?"

Sawyer paled. "Mrs Lincoln is Mr Greys friend. I am sure she doesn't carry a weapon. They were just two women fighting over a guy. You see it in high school all the time."

"So, its safe to say you felt that Ana was in no serious danger." Sawyer agrees.

"Why did you get involved then, knowing if you touched her, she might stop breathing?"

Sawyer was red in the face and not enjoying the spotlight. "I saw the expression on Mr Greys face when Mrs Lincoln hit her."

"Please describe his expression, Sawyer."

"He was furious, sir. Then I saw the blood and I just reacted. I've touched her before and even carried her and she was okay with it. She was like a little wild cat," he paused as he showed Flynn his neck, and added, "She even scratched me trying to get free. So I put her over my shoulder and ran upstairs."

There was silence in the room. Flynn was angry. If Taylor had been uncertain about that before, he wasn't anymore. He could tell from his flared nostrils and the unnecessary walk to the window that he was trying to get control of his emotions and biting back words. Finally, Flynn turned around and addressed them.

"This could have been a disaster. By all rights, it should have been a disaster. I don't know what magic you three weave together in her presence, but its pretty damn powerful. Instead of her emotions being turned inward, she has turned them outward. Instead of defending herself, she is defending and protecting someone else, a man no less. It is extroadinary and a massive step forward in her recovery. It is the only reason I am not forcibly removing her from your company.

Please, in the future try to remember, she is very fragile. You must protect her. If, I consider someone a threat to her, be sure its not because she may get a black eye, its because of her breathing issues and mental state. Mrs Lincoln is not to be allowed within six feet of Ana. Are we clear, gentlemen?" Everyone agrees and Taylor and I are about to ask permission to leave, when the good doctor starts speaking again.

"Taylor, by the way, how often does Mrs Lincoln drop by unannounced?"

"Its always unannounced, sir."

"How often, Taylor?"

Taylor looks at Grey and Flynn catches it. "I am asking you, not Christian. How often does she see him?"

"They have lunch once a week and she stops by once a week." Flynn looks at Grey and just glares at him. Then he waves his hand in the general direction of Sawyer and Taylor, waving them out the door.

Grey starts to rise, and Flynn says simply, "No, Christian, not you. We need to discuss some things."

As soon as the door shut, Christian was on his feet, "Please, John, it's not the way Taylor made it sound."

Flynn just raised an eyebrow and said nothing.

"I do have lunch with her once a week but its just business."

"You seriously expect me to believe she never tries to coerce you back into your old lifestyle?"

"No, but when she starts talking that shit, I end the lunch."

"If its just a business lunch, why isnt someone from accounting conducting it? And the visits at the house? What about phone calls? Dare I ask how many times a week she calls you? You told me you had distanced yourself, but that's not true, is it, Christian?"

"Its just Elena's way. When she wants something she goes after it. She doesn't give up."

"You admire that trait in her, don't you?"

"Yes, I am not ashamed to say I do admire her tenacity."

"Were you admiring it when she struck Ana? Apparently, you made no move to intervene?"

"John, the only reason I didn't intervene is I trusted my staff to break it up."

Flynn stood then. He had heard enough and suddenly raised his voice.

"Ana is under your roof, you are responsible for her safety, not your staff. If it had been Mia, would you have waited on your staff? I don't think so.

You knew exactly what was going to happen when you allowed Elena to confront her. Admit it, Christian. You wanted to see Elena face off with Ana. Don't you see? It was never about Ana, it was about you revisiting your past. You wanted to see Elena in all her glory, in full Dom mode, lording it over Ana. You expected Ana to be submissive and you would be enjoy watching Elena put on a show for you? But Ana is not and never will be submissive. How could you place an innocent like Ana in jeopardy like that?

A horrified Christian shakes his head in denial. "I didnt. I wouldnt. No, I would never do that. I wouldn't."

"Think about it, Christian. Be honest with yourself, even if you can't be honest with me. If it turns out that you can not have a satisfactory sex life outside of S&M, that's okay, but it is not okay to have sexual fantasies about the pedophile who sexually molested you. By the way, I want your permission to be able to discuss the personality dynamics between you and Elena with Ana. She needs to know what she is getting involved in."

"Shit, John. Is that really necessary?"

"Yes."

Christian tugged oh his hair and finally let out a deep breath. "If you think its that important, okay."

"Good. Now, please send Ana in."

An agitated Christian stood and left.

Ana walked in and sat down. She smiled at Flynn and greeted him warmly. Flynn smiled back. "You look awful proud of that shiner." He commented astutely.

Her face broke out in a broad grin. "Why shouldn't I be?"

"It could have turned out differently." Flynn offered.

"But it didn't? Why?"

"Only you know the answer to that."

"That's the problem. You assume I know but I haven't got a clue."

"You are aware of the significance of Mrs Lincolns impact on Christian's life"

"Yes."

"Don't you think your behavior was a little wreckless?"

"John, everyone around here kisses her ass, including Christian. He told me she was his friend, his only real friend! How fucking sad is that? When your only friend is the person who sexually abused you? She makes me sick! He is so brainwashed, its pathetic. How can he not see her for what she is? Its so obvious!"

"Ana, we could talk all day and all night about Elena and her effect on Christian's life, but what I really want to talk about is you. Do you feel safe?"

"John, you know I feel safe here or I would be gone."

" Which brings up the question how long will you be staying?"

"I dont know. So much has happened, I feel safe here. I would feel safer if they found this Leila person, but as long as Christian doesn't mind my staying, I don't mind staying here. Maybe Kate could stay tonight."

"That might be a good idea."

"John, I need to know what you are worried about. Is it me and Christian being together?"

"I worry about both of you because I care about both of you. I know there is a strong physical attraction between the two of you, but you are the only two who can decide if you want your friendship to go in that direction. I can't advise you on that. All I will say is move slowly and be cautious. Christian is a good man, but he has a lot of baggage. You are a good woman. A beautiful, attractive sexy woman and you deserve to be in a relationship where all your needs are met. Christian can certainly meet your physical needs, however, it will not be easy for either of you to meet each others emotional needs. There's a lot of work ahead if this friendship is going to truly blossom. Bear in mind, Elena is the only long term friend/relationship Christian has ever been in. She knows exactly how to manipulate him and won't hesitate to do so. She will work day and night to destroy you. She won't give him up."

"He's not hers."

"He's not your either. He has to decide to sever his friendship and,quite frankly, I don't know if he can."

"He can, John. He just needs someone to hold his hand."

"Perhaps. How are you sleeping?"

"I have been sleeping good, of course, scotch helped one night and you helped the other with the tranquilizer. Tonight should be interesting."

"Don't be disappointed if it doesn't go well."

"Okay. You think its going to be a bad night, don't you? What is it? Do you think I am going to have the mother of all nightmares?"

"No, not necessarily, but you have been through a lot in a very short time. It would not surprise me if some of your fears manifested themselves in a nightmare. When was your last nightmare?"

"I didn't sleep the night I left Portland, so it would be Tuesday. Today is Friday. I'll text you in the morning."

"Good. Do you have anything we haven't addressed?"

"Yeah." Replied a blushing Ana. "I know I told you about what happened when I came out of the shower. Does this mean I don't have Sexual Arousal Disorder anymore?"

"Ana, aside from the period of your abuse, you have led a very sheltered life. It is entirely possible you never had the disorder."

"But,...really?"

"I didn't make the diagnosis and I have always questioned it as you have never ever been kissed, how can anyone know how you would respond."

"It doesn't matter how I respond once any guy gets a look at me they will go screaming in the opposite direction."

"I disagree but I hope someday you find someone who will make you see how irrevelant those scars are to someone who loves you."

"Yeah, when pigs fly."

Flynn gave her a small, encouraging smile, "If anyone has a chance of seeing pigs fly, its you, my dear. Now, unless there's something else, I will look forward to your morning text. I want a summary of tonight, not just a 'no nightmares', got it?"

Ana laughed and said "If I had my phone, I'd keep a running text, but, you were in luck, I've been using Sawyer's."

"Don't be afraid to call. Or text. I' m here for you Ana."

"I know, John." She ran over to him then and grabbed his hand and held in both of her hands. "Thank you, John, thank you so much for everything and for always being there for me. I mean it!" And she squeezed his hand hard.

"Your welcome, Ana. " replied Flynn as she blushed and ran out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

I wandered out of my session with Flynn, tired and uncertain. I had been looking forward to seeing Flynn, I had been looking forward to gloating about letting Christian and his security touch me and not ending up gasping for air. I had thought he would be so proud of me that I had fought with that pedophile bitch but he hadn't been. He thought my behavior wreckless and irresponsible. Was it?

I headed for Christians bedroom even though I knew I should go to Kate. The room was dark as I opened the door and quickly shut it behind me and threw myself down on the bed and started to sob. Deep, horrible sounding sobs. I didn't want to give up my friendship with Christian. I wanted to explore more with him. I wanted him to kiss me, not just a drunken, slobbery kiss in the palm of my hand but an honest, sober kiss. Not a promise to be his forever, but a taste of what life could be like if I was willing to risk it.

It would be a big risk, risking it all for what? Death by passion? A fatal kiss? Had life become so boring that I could chance this? And why? I had lived all these years without any hope, why, if I was going to consider taking the plunge did it have to be with someone who was even more fucked up than me? Like to like? Maybe I could help him? If I was rich, I could have hired the hitman that was after Christian and have him 'do' Elena. However, I wasn't rich and evil as Elena was, I wasn't into killing her.

His wealthy lifestyle didn't bother me until he started spending his money on me. The whole wardrobe thing was crazy. He had to have spent fifty thousand on it, on clothes for someone he barely knew. It was a pittance to him, completely insignificant, but to me, it was more than I might spend on clothes in the next twenty years. It made me feel inadequate, unable to properly care for myself. The designer clothes were all lovely, but they made me feel pretentious. I am uncomfortable wearing designer names like Stella McCartney or Very Wang; covering my scarred body with beautiful clothes just seemed

artificial and deceptive.

My tears had finally stopped. I stood and went to the bathroom and washed my face and looked in the mirror. The bruises didn't look any better but they didn't look any worse either. Aside from the bruises, there were no notable changes but I knew the person staring back at me was not the same person who tripped into Christian's office. The question was, were the changes temporary or had my short time with Christian changed my life forever.

I made my way out to the great room and saw Mrs Jones in the kitchen. I asked about Christian and was told he was in the gym working out with his personal trainer, Claude Bastille. Mrs Jones added Kate was still in the media room, along with Mr Grey's brother, Elliot. I headed towards Kate and Elliot, hoping I wouldn't be interrupting anything. Kate was notorious for dropping her drawers in the blink of an eye as she conducted her eternal search for Mr Perfect. As I neared the media room and saw the double doors closed, I had a sinking feeling. I put an ear to the door before opening it and knew immediately from the rhymic grunting I wouldn't be opening that door any time soon. I found myself backing away and as I turned, I saw a smirking Sawyer at the beginning of the corridor.

"Don't worry, I heard him lock the door."

I make a face as I wonder where they are doing it.

Again, its like he knows what I am thinking. I see his smirk grow into an open grin.

"Maybe we should give Mrs Jones a black light..." I start but don't get any further because the big lunk has slid down to the floor, laughing his ass off.

"Or maybe you could have black lights installed in the ceiling so Mrs Jones knows exactly what needs cleaning. Does he come here often?" I ask.

We look at each other then and both of us bust out laughing. Sawyer has tears running down his face as he tries to imitate me saying, 'does he cum here often' but can't even finish the phrase because he is laughing so hard. Then he grabs my hand as he stands and starts running back up the corridor with me.

We stop dead as we run into Taylor. He looks at me. I know I am flushed with laughter and have a happy grin. I greet him with a big smile. "Ms Steele," he says formally. Then he looks at Sawyer and very deliberately, down at our joined hands. I feel Sawyer let go of my hand.

"I need to go over a few things with Sawyer in my office, Ms Steele."

"Okay." I reply and watch them head off towards the Security Office, wondering if laughing with my CPO is against the rules.

I find Mrs Jones and ask her if there's a computer I can use. I explain I need to check my email. She escorts me to a library. I can't believe it. This man has a library. I open the door and the sight takes my breath away. I walk over to a shelf and note it is sorted by authors name. I pick up a book. Its A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. It is so beautiful. I marvel at the construction, the red cloth binding and the colored plates inside. I look at the publishing date and I am not surprised I am holding a rare 1859 first edition. I carefully return it to the shelf. I gaze around me at the beautiful oak bookcases with their lush patina, the perfect backdrop to show off this magnificent collection.

The desktop set up in the far corner seems an unwelcome intrusion, but that's where I head. I haven't checked my email in three days. I sit down and log on. I make a face when I see numerous emails from my editor, Jack Hyde.

Jack is relatively new. He's been my editor for a month and has been requesting a face to face with me since the day he was hired. He's swarmy, even electronically. I can't imagine how much worse he must be in person.

I scan through his messages and see more of the same, only now they seem to be a bit threatening. The last message dated this morning is very concise. If I don't schedule a face to face meeting within twenty four hours, I will be terminated. Shit. I don't want to meet this creep, but I don't want to lose my position either. I like working as a free lance contract editor. I get to pick who and what I edit, which in turn allows me to budget my time better. I shoot off an email that I can meet with him tomorrow and to let me know what time is convenient.

I decide to see if there are any Thomas Hardy books and read for a while. I find Tess of the D'urbervilles: A Pure Woman Faithfully Presented. I check the publishing date and yes, it is another first edition. There's a chaise by the window with a throw across the back. I curl up on the chaise, toss the throw over me and forget everything as I allow Mr Hardy to steal me away.

On the other side of the penthouse, in the Security Office, things weren't going so well for Sawyer. Taylor was not happy. He understood that Luke and Ana were the same age and thought on the same wavelength. He understood she was a beautiful young woman, but she was his client. The number one rule in protection is you distance yourself from any type of emotional involvement with the target. If she tells a joke, smile politely. Taylor rants on and on about not allowing Ana to distract him from his job. Before dismissing him, he warns if Grey had seen him holding hands and laughing with Ana, he wouldnt be lecturing him, he would be requesting his signature on a termination notice.

Slowly, the house starts to return to normal as people leave. Flynn has gone. Kate and Elliot surfaced only to leave for drinks. Right. I won't be seeing Kate again until tomorrow when she comes home doing the walk of shame. Carrick left right after Detective Clark. Its almost ten. Mrs Jones has retired for the evening. I decide it's time for me to retire as well. I haven't decided where I am going to sleep, but I know I plan on showering in Christian's bedroom.

I go through his drawers and find a pair of boxers and a plain white cotton undershirt. No way am I wearing a silk nightgown; they are way too sexy. I go into the huge bathroom and take a long luxurious shower. I come out dressed in the boxers and white tee shirt. Christian is still a no-show. I decide to head to the upstairs guest room where Kate will be staying.

I turn down the bed and hit the lights. I am tired, emotionally wrecked. Too much has happened and I don't want to think about any of it. I slip under the covers and quickly fall asleep.

I wake up to see Christian sitting in a chair watching me sleep. In a way, I am touched but in another way, I think its kind of creepy and a big invasion of my privacy.

"Been here long?" I ask.

He shrugs and says nothing. "Did you see Flynn?" I ask. He nods yes, while stretching his arms over his head.

"Was it rough?"

"Very rough. He held nothing back and well, it was probably one of the most difficult sessions we have ever had."

"I hear you. He was hell on wheels. I had hoped you would wear him down more, but there was no stopping him. When I was finally free, I thought about what he said and cried for half an hour."

"When he was through with me, I thought about what he said and fought with Claude for an hour then ran for another hour."

"I hate when he does those sneak attacks."

"He does that to you too?"

"Oh, yeah. He asks you something completely innocent, like, "and did you dance Anastasia?" Only to follow it with some insight that reaches a conclusion that is intimate and embarrassing and that I would never have told him in a million years, but now that its out there, I have no choice but to discuss it. You have no chance to prepare, he just comes at you out of nowhere."

Christian laughs, and then imitates Flynn with his British accent, "and how did that make you feel, Anastasia?"

We both crack up. I look at him and even though he's wearing a grin, there pain in his eyes and fear. It touches me somewhere deep inside me. I want to hurt whoever put that pain there and I want to protect him and ease his fears.

"Are you sleeping here?" He asks.

I try to laugh but it sounds so fake."I didn't think you would appreciate finding me in your bed again."

He slips off the chair and kneels beside me. He gently strokes the hair out of my face."You are always welcome in my bed. Just having you near me is soothing. I think that's why I am here now, watching you sleep relaxes me."

"For gods sake, don't tell Flynn!" I laugh.

He laughs with me and stands as I get up. Its only when we are in the light in the hallway that he sees what I am wearing.

"Are those my boxers?" He asks.

I nod yes and do a curtsy. He laughs long and hard, to my great pleasure. Making him laugh could be my life's work and I would never tire of it. We go downstairs and are crossing the great room when the elevator pings and Ryan is there to greet a tear stained Kate. Something obviously went wrong with her date with Elliot.

She sees me and runs right over and begins sobbing into my shoulder. I smile, remembering when she was the only one who could freely touch me. I listen as Kate is trying to explain what happened between sobs. Apparently, when they returned to Elliot's place, there was a naked woman sleeping in his bed that he forgot about. I am with Kate, like, really? How do you forget you left a woman in your house?

I suggest she get her jammies on and we can talk a little before bed. She looks at my outfit and asks if she can wear what I am wearing. I say sure, while Christian looks horrified.

Kate goes upstairs to the guestroom. Christian still wants me to sleep with him, so we compromise. I will stay with Kate until she is asleep and then join Christian in his bed.

I run upstairs with boxers and a tee and while Kate showers and changes, find some Hagen Daz dulce de leche and head back upstairs. We finish the ice cream, and Kate has finally wound down enough to sleep. I check the door to the terrace and make sure its locked. I know the locks have been changed, and that I there are cameras on this door, but I check it just the same. Then I turn off the lights and climb into bed with Kate. I wait twenty minutes before I am certain she is asleep.

I tip toe into the bathroom and close the door halfway. I want to pee before I join Christian. I am sitting on the toilet, in the dark, debating whether to flush or not when I hear a noise by the door. I look out and someone has just entered the room from the terrace. I am terrified, almost too terrified to breathe but then I see the dark shadow pull out a gun and aim it at the bed.

I leap up and scream, the shadow turns towards me and fires two shots. The glass shower door behind me explodes I pay no attention as I charge the shooter. Kate hasn't stopped screaming, if anything she has gotten louder. I yell for her to get down as I see the intruder spin for the door. I leap through the air and catch him around the knees. We start wrestling. It is a woman. It must be Leila. I must protect Christian. She keeps firing the gun, trying to hit me, but the shots are all wild. I use all my strength to pin her wrist down when the bitch bites me right on my arm. I scream as her teeth sink into me when I hear the door burst open and Taylor yell, "Drop it!" Suddenly, its like everything is in slow motion. Her gun hand magically comes up, even though I am using every ounce of strength to keep it down. She aims at my head and she fires again. I try to throw my body to the side when I feel a seering pain over my ear and blackness takes over. I open my eyes and Kate is still screaming. Taylor is here, sitting on top of Leila, violently twisting the gun out of her hand and cuffing her as easily as if she were a child. Then I feel Sawyer beside me asking if I can breathe, I nod yes. I can breathe but I can't seem to talk yet. Sawyer stands and checks the terrace shuts the door and locks it.

Christian tries to get near me, but he is too distraught, he's acting like I am dead. Kate apparently feels the came way. She's fainted. Ryan comes in and carries Kate away. Reynolds comes in and carries Leila away. Taylor deals with Christian while Sawyer picks me up and carries me away. My heart is still pounding so hard and so fast it literally hurts. I feel blood dripping down my face and down my arm. This isn't good.

I look into Sawyers eyes as he carries me bridal style down the stairs. He smiles gently and says everything is going to be fine, Ana. I think to myself, from your lips to Gods ears.

He brings me to the Christians bedroom. Gail is there with a different first aid kit. My head is really starting to hurt. I can see concern in Sawyers eyes and hear him yell for Taylor. I am trying to be brave, but I feel like someone set my head on fire. That bitch shot me! I can't believe it. I look at Sawyer as he works at wiping the blood away. I finally find my voice, "Am I going to die?"

Then Taylor is squatting in front of me, pulling on sterile gloves and telling Sawyer to move my head so he can examine the wound. It hurts and I squeeze my eyes shut in pain and can't help moaning.

I can hear Christian behind me, threatening whoever was holding him back, and firing Taylor. Taylor's expression turns grim. He looks over his shoulder and calls, "Hold him!" Then he looks at Sawyer and says hold her head still. I can't get this in her eyes. He looks into my eyes and says, " it doesn't look too bad. It may have only buzzed your scalp, but I need to see the complete wound and disinfect it. I am going to have to cut some of the hair away. Are you okay with this or would you rather go to the hospital?"

"I am okay with you Taylor. Please, no hospital."

"I can't promise Ana, but if we can avoid it, we will. I cant give you anything for the pain until I know what we are dealing with. You can never be too cautious with head injuries.

Ready?"

"I nod yes."

He pick up a scissor and starts snipping. Then he grabs a squeeze bottle and says simply, "Here cones the burn." I let out one small scream and passed out.

I come to a few minutes later and I really feel like hell. It hurts more now than it did before. Taylor smiles down and at me and assures me the worst is over. He explains the bullet grazed the side of my head, tearing through the scalp, but not my skull. He's cleaned and disinfected the wound. He's put a temporary bandage on it. I still need to be seen by a doctor and get an xray as well as antibiotics, but he needs to coordinate the security and decide who to see. He might be able to get somebody to come here, that would be preferable. I may need stitches, but for right now he's used butterfly bandages.

My arm was disinfected, cleaned and bandaged as well. I ask about Leila. I feel him stiffen as he gets control of his temper. Flynn has called for a private ambulance and has her sedated. She will be transferred to a private psychiatric hospital tonight. I can tell Taylor does not agree with this.

I ask about Kate. She is fine. She fainted after I got shot. Then he looks me dead in the eye and adds, "I almost fainted when you got shot." I get a tiny glimpse of the worry he went through. He cares, he really cares.

There's one question I haven't asked. Now the time has come, I can't put it off anymore. He's not here and I need to know why. So, timidly, I ask my last question, "How is Christian? Why isn't he here?" I know why he isn't here, I'm too much freaking trouble.

Taylor let's out a long sigh, as he pulls off his gloves and tosses them in the trash.

"You may have noticed that Christian blames himself for everything. He also is a pessimist. He saw you shot and was convinced you died. He was hysterical with grief. I had two men holding him back and it wasn't enough. I finally had Sawyer knock him out and restrain him so I could treat you.

Sawyer is babysitting him now in the Security Office. I ask if Christian can come to bed now that Taylor is done with me.

" Ana, until we get you x-rayed and we know for certain that there is no brain swelling and no skull fracture, you can't sleep. Someone will be with you 24/7, looking for symptoms of either swelling or a bleed in your brain. Right now, I am going to leave Gail with you."

"Gail?"

"Sorry, Mrs Jones."

"Gail, huh?"

He smiles, "Yeah, Gail. " The goes on to explain she is a widow. I smile back at him and tell him I am glad he is not alone.

I thank Taylor for all he has done for me but explain I really need Christian right now and I think he needs me. I can't imagine the hell he must be putting himself through. I start crying then. I don't know why, but the thought of Christian in pain is unbearable.

He shakes his head from side to side in disbelief and says he will have brought in, but someone has to stay and monitor me. I am fine with that, I just want Christian beside me. Then I will be able to relax.

A few minutes later, Sawyer and Reynolds lay an unconscious Christian beside me. I am told not to get up and no moving around. I clasp his hand in mine and promise Taylor I will be good. I know this is right, this where I belong. Its time to start thinking about the future. Its time to take a leap of faith. No, not this minute, but soon. Very soon.


	9. Chapter 9

CPOV

I awoke in my bed to find Ana next to me, her hand wrapped in mine. I scanned the room and saw Mrs Jones sitting in a chair knitting and Sawyer standing by the door. I could tell by her breathing Ana was awake, that is, if this was all real. I want to look at her but I am afraid, afraid what my eyes might see. I want to touch her, kiss her, and hold her, but if she is dead, shit, I don't know if I could handle that. The mere thought of her being dead brings tears to my eyes. Then I feel the warmth of her hand in mine. She can't be dead. Slowly, I open my eyes again, but this time, instead of scanning the room, I look at Ana.

Its as if she knows; she turns then and looks at me and smiles reassuringly. There is a bandage on her head. A thousand and one thoughts rocket through my brain but the only word that comes out of my mouth is her name, Ana. I lift my head and lay it on her breast. She sucks in her breath and stiffens and then I remember. I jerk my head up but her hand comes and presses it back down.

"Its okay," she whispers. "I am fine."

I see Gail's head pop up from her knitting and Sawyer moves closer. What is this? Sawyer looks like I could be a threat! He's texting someone; he must be telling Taylor I am awake. I look at the beautiful blue eyes staring down at me and ask her what happened?

Sawyer intrudes then, "Sir, Taylor is on his way. He can explain everything."

No sooner does he finish speaking when Taylor enters the room. He acknowledges me with his usual, "Sir," and then addresses Ana. He talks to her for a few minutes and shines a small light in her eyes, satisfied with the results, he smiles and announces he is stealing me away for a security update. He comes around the bed and holds out his hand. I ignore it and swing my feet down and start to stand but fall backwards. Taylor grabs me with both hands and steadies me. I stand still for a moment as a wave of dizziness passes. Christ, what the hell did they give me? I inhale deeply and try to center myself. I look down at Ana, see the bruises on her face, the scratches from Elena and the bandage covering a bullet wound. My stomach rolls and I come close to heaving. I force the bile back down, paste a smile on my face and promise to be back soon.

On the way to my study, all I can think of is the damage that has been done to this young innocent is all my responsibility and I have to find a way to make things right. I sit behind my desk, hands in my hair, feeling unsure and guilty. I have never felt like this before and I seriously wonder what the fuck is going on.

There's a tap at the door and Sawyer hands Taylor a tray with two coffees, a mug of soup and a Turkey sandwich. Then he leaves. Taylor takes a coffee and puts the tray in front of me. I grunt and grab the coffee, maybe it will help me focus. I nod at Taylor and he starts.

"Leila is in lock down at Pine View Lodge. It is a private mental health faculty located in a small town outside Tacoma. Flynn will be coordinating her therapy but will not be her therapist. She will also have a 24 hour private security detail to prevent her escaping or suicide."

I sip my coffee and mutter an acknowledgement, avoiding Taylor's eyes as a wave of guilt surges across me. I can't help but wonder how much of her illness am I personally responsible for? Was it the lifestyle? Or was it me? My inability to be touched, my refusal to have conversation or allow her to look at me, is that what drove her over the edge?

Taylor clears his throat and recaptures my attention.

"We have news on the rooftop shooter. Welch's suspect has been identified entering and leaving the airport. He is from China and known as Dingying Ye, which translates to " the fixer". He works out of Hong Kong. Welch says this guy has a big reputation. You have a problem, you hire him. He decides how to fix it. Sometimes the solution is simple and direct, a bullet in the brain. Sometimes, he is far more complicated and indirect.

Welch thinks maybe he was sending you a message, a warning. You have that shipyard deal in Malaysia next week. According to Ros, there is a lot of controversy about selling to you. Welch thinks that Chung Li may have hired 'the fixer' to protect you. There are several Muslim extremists who are against the shipyard going to a westerner.

"Fuck." I growl. "Why can't they just stick to dollars and cents? Ros told me this would happen and I fucking hate it."

"If Welch is right, the threat is real, but probably Malaysia centered. Port Klang may be more dangerous than we thought.

" Make whatever security arrangements are necessary. Forget the budget."

"Yes sir, one other thing, if I may, what are your plans for Ms Steele? Both threats have been lifted, as far as Seattle goes."

I look up and stare hard into Taylor's eyes. He doesn't flinch, just stares back impassively. He may look and sound respectful, but we both know he does not approve of me sleeping with Ana.

I would like to call him out on this but I can't. He's right, damn it. If I leave her in my penthouse, no matter how innocent our relationship is, the tabloids will find out and broadcast her name and photo and make her life unbearable. I care too much for her to allow that to happen. Its been such a short time, but I have gotten used to having her around. I know she has to go, but it hurts.

"What do you suggest, Taylor?"

"Maybe we could arrange for her to move in early to their new condo, she's still going to need security though and I don't think she's going to agree to that. Medically, she is fine and was incredibly lucky, but I think she still needs the bandage changed daily."

"Let's keep Luke as her CPO. Get her a phone and an IPad, OK? She'll agree to security but I think we need more than Luke. I still don't really think Elena is a threat physically but I could see her talking to the media and that I won't tolerate. Ana will agree to security today but if you decide to up it two weeks from now, she will balk. I am sure of it."

"How about Luke and a female CPO during waking hours and outside security for the overnight. We can hook up security feeds to Escala and monitor them as well."

"Do it. Anything else?"

"We need a NDA for Kate."

"Kate. Interesting that you should bring her name up. What did you do and how did you get her to agree to the facial bruise?"

Taylor smiled. "From the background check I knew she had a poor relationship with her father because of his chronic infidelity. I volunteered to initiate a break up with his current mistress in exchange for allowing me to direct her fist to her face and a cement wall. She agreed if I arrange the break up and get her father mugged so his face gets messed up too. It was that simple."

"I had to ask, didn't I?

Taylor laughed.

"When do we leave for Malaysia?"

"Ten o'clock Tuesday night."

"They haven't moved their stuff yet, their new place will be empty. Ana can't stay there. I won't be here, surely..."

He stopped when he saw the expression on Taylor's face.

"Sir, unless you plan on having a long term relationship with Ms Steele, as painful as it is, you need to step back. This isn't just another girl. She is very dependent on you, emotionally. You both need to step back and decide where you want this relationship to go. I think the trip to Malaysia comes at a good time."

"I'll talk to her."

APOV

I am going over yesterday in my head when I remember I am so supposed to meet with Jack today. "Shit!" I groan loudly. Sawyer is by my side immediately. Gail left a little while ago to start lunch.

"Ana, what is it?" He asks in a concerned voice.

"Its nothing, Luke. I just remembered I am supposed to meet with my boss today or be fired."

"I can call him for you and explain you have been injured and need to reschedule?"

"Oh, that would be great, Luke. I hate talking to him, even his emails creep me out. If he fires me because I can't come into today, fine. I'll find another job."

"I am sure he won't fire you Ms Steele. Let me check a few things and give him a call. Okay?"

"Thank you, Luke."

Luke immediately reported to Taylor. Together they reviewed the emails Hyde had sent Ana.

"I see why she feels uncomfortable. He's gone from inviting her to lunch to commanding her presence at a business dinner and threatening to replace her. Not to mention scheduling the meeting for a Saturday afternoon when the office will likely be empty." Luke pointed out to Sawyer.

Taylor looked grim. "Call him, Luke. Tell him she has a head injury and can't attend. If he asks, tell him you're her friend. Let's see what he says before we go crazy on his ass.

Luke smiled at the possibilities and picked up his phone and called Hyde. Ten minutes later, Taylor was knocking on the bosses door.

After listening to Taylor explain Hyde will not reschedule her meeting, and promising to terminate Ana if she misses the four o' clock meeting, Christian is livid. He gets on the phone and calls Andrea. " Find out who the CEO of Seattle Independent Publishing is and then get him on the phone for me." He barks at her.

A few minutes later, she calls back and announces, "Mr Grey, I have Gerry Roach on the line for you."

"Put him through." Christian paused for the click, alerting the call ha been conferenced through and the second click of Andrea disconnecting herself. "Christian Gray speaking, Mr Roach, how are you?"

"Call me Gerry. What can I do for you? The last I knew, you weren't into publishing."

"I am still not involved in publishing, Roach. I am calling to ask you for a favor, one CEO to another."

"Now you are starting to worry me, Grey. I can't think of anything I could possibly help you with. "

"I have a friend who works for you from home as an editor and an independent contractor. She reports to someone named Jack Hyde. She's been told if she doesn't come in today for a face to face with him, her contract will be terminated effective immediately. My friend has suffered a head injury. There is no way she can meet today and yet Hyde refuses to reschedule "

"Jack Hyde is in charge of the work at home program. I will speak to him. What is your friends name?"

"Anastasia Steele. Thank you, Roach."

"All right, Grey. I will get back to you as soon as possible."

"I appreciate it, Roach. I look forward to your call."

Grey ended the call feeling confident he had accomplished something for Anastasia. He couldn't wait for Roach to call back and tell him everything was resolved. Feeling satisfied with his call to Roach, he waited impatiently for his return call. An hour passed and Grey began to lose some of his confidence. This was, in the big scheme of things, really a minor request. He wasn't asking him to guarantee her job, just reschedule a fucking meeting and remove the threat of termination for missing the meeting. Slowly he began to fume. As the minutes ticked away, he slowly realized Roach had no intentions of complying with his request. It was hard to believe. It was well known in the business world that Grey had a temper. You did not want him for an enemy. You didn't piss him off and not pay for it. Roach was pissing him off and adding fuel to the fire by showing a lack of respect for one of the most powerful men in Seattle. When ninety minutes passed with no word from Roach, he began to take it personally. When two hours passed, he had Andrea get Roach on the line. To say he was pissed was an understatement. Before this day was through, Roach would rue the day he decided to fuck with Christian Grey.

The call went exactly the way he knew it would go, what Christian couldn't understand was why. It made no sense for Roach to go out of his way to piss him off, even if his bullshit excuse about Hyde having a contractual clause allowing final say in employee termination was true, he should have called back immediately. Did he seriously think Christian Grey would let this slide? Grey smiled grimly and called Ros.

"Drop everything. Get a team together. I want everything on Seattle Independent Publishing, their CEO Gerry Roach and an editor Jack Hyde. I know its Saturday and that limits you a bit, but I want Roach squirming and I want it now. Use Welch. Use Barney. I am going to destroy SIP and Gerry Roach. Use your dirty tricks team."

"The one you made me disband?"

"The one you still use but never mention to me."

"There is no dirty tricks team, Grey, just dedicated employees willing to do anything to protect our assets."

"Whatever. Use them. "

"May I ask what Roach did?"

"He is deliberately fucking with a friend of mine, threatening to terminate them if they don't make a meeting today. She's injured; she can't attend the meeting. All I asked him to do was reschedule, and the dumb fucking useless piece of shit is refusing."

"Who is your friend?"

Grey let out as long sigh. He didn't want to tell Ros but knew she would find out eventually. "Anastasia Steele."

"Anastasia Steele? The UW student that was granted a fifteen minute meeting that ended up lasting hours? The girl who left with you with two different shooters firing at you? The girl the media is going crazy trying to find? That Anastasia Steele?" Ros asked.

Grey could hear the grin in her voice, "Yes." He replied, trying to sound casual. Then he added, as non chalant as he could, "And Ros, I want to own SIP. I don't care how we do it, just get it done. Friendly or hostile, it doesn't matter. I don't care if we lose money buying it, just get it done."

"Okay, boss, I am on it. I'll give you an update later.


	10. Chapter 10

CPOV

I tried working, but all I was doing was reading the same emails over and over again because I can't concentrate. I don't want her to leave, damn it. I know everything Taylor said is right, but I still don't want her to leave. Even if she stayed, I have the Malaysia trip next week, a seperation is inevitable. Now that I know what I face there, taking her along isn't a consideration. Taylor is right; we need to talk.

I knock gently on my bedroom door which is slightly ajar. Luke looks up from his seat. Gail smiles at me in a maternal way that always reassures me. Ana is reading, check that, she was reading. She's asleep. I move towards Sawyer and ask if she is allowed to sleep.

He stands and moves away from the bed and explains yes, because she has shown no symptoms and her XRay was clear, they are allowing her to sleep but wake her up every hour and check her pupils and have a short conversation to insure she is lucid and coherent. I nod and tell him to take a break. He leaves, but slowly. I then look over at Gail and nod towards the door. She smiles in understanding, not like fucking Sawyer, who is starting to piss me off. I lay down beside her, as gently as I can, trying not to awaken her. I lay on my side and watch her sleep. I think I could watch her sleep and never tire of it.

It comforts me but I don't understand why and I am not asking Flynn, that's for damned sure. I want to hold her close to me, but I don't want to wake her. Nevertheless, I find myself moving closer. My body has a will of its own and before I know it, I have pulled her close, not touching, but very close. I drape one arm across her shoulder. I lean into her hair and inhale her scent. Its like a magic elixir; suddenly my mind and my body are at ease. I relax. There are no thoughts of assassins, business problems, or dumb ass CEO's like Roach. There's just me and her and the real world fades away as I fall asleep.

TPOV

I tap lightly on the door and open it slowly, just in case I need to shut it again. Grey is in there with her and you just never fucking know. I have seen people sexually attracted to each other before, but I have never seen anything like these two. I tried to tell him they need to slow it down, but I know he wasn't listening. They are sleeping in each others arms, face to face, actually, her face is buried in his chest and shoulder area. His no go area. His arm is wrapped around her hip, her no go area. I snap a picture for Flynn and email it to him. Now, how the hell am I supposed to check her pupils without waking him? I decide to give them a few minutes more.

I sit down and watch them. After about five minutes, Ana stirs and opens her eyes. She doesn't know I am there. She is not uncomfortable, if anything she snuggles closer to him. Hell, I am the one uncomfortable. I clear my throat, she startles and swallows a scream. Grey is awake instantly, pulling her even closer in a protective embrace.

"I apologize, Ana, if I startled you. I just need to check your pupils."

"Oh, Taylor, please don't apologize. Its not your fault I startle so easily."

"Maybe if you fucking knocked on the door..."

"Christian! We were both asleep. Stop!" She said firmly.

He stops and pouts. I know I am getting shit for this later, but for now, I'm going to enjoy it.

I bend down close to Ana's face and show her my penlight. "Okay?" I ask and she nods. She closes her eyes for a moment and then opens then and I flash my light. The pupils are both equal. Thank God. I smile and turn to leave. I can hear them murmuring to each other. As I close the door, I hear the boss say, "Sit up baby, we need to talk." Finally. I sigh in relief as I walk back to the security office.

APOV

Christian sits up and leans back against the headboard. He looks like he has something unpleasant to say and I feel myself stiffen.

"We know each other how long now? Four days? I am told we are moving too fast. I need to back off. I need to give you some room. I need some room. We both need to think exactly what we want out of this relationship and how much either one of us can give."

He watches as she turns her head away and asks in a trembling voice, "You want me to leave?"

"No!" He says emphatically. "No, I do not want you to leave. Ana, baby, I am a fucked up mess. I could destroy you."

"Stop!" She turns her head back to him and he see the tears, tears he knows he is responsible for. "If you want me to leave, I will leave."

"I don't want you to leave, damn it, but even Flynn says..."

"Fuck Flynn! And fuck anybody else that tries to interfere. Tell them to mind their own fucking business. Maybe for other people, we are moving too fast, but not for us. Before, we were moving too slow. Now, we are just catching up. I can't go back, Christian. Its like I was a bottle of champagne just sitting on a shelf gathering dust until you came along. You popped my cork and now there a thousand and one bubbles of happiness. You can't put the cork back in the bottle. It won't fit. I can't go back to my old life. I won't fit. Do you understand? I know its scary, and I know maybe we won't work, but I have to try. Its so hard to explain how much you mean to me."

"You scare the shit out of me Ana. You make me feel things I have never felt before. I am scared of hurting you, I am scared to feel, I am terrified of breaking you."

"You could never break me. I know that. Don't ask me how, I just know it deep inside my soul. I belong with you, by your side. Always and forever. I want to be intimate with you.

I will be intimate with you but first I need to tell you everything and show you my scars.

Then, if you still want me and can stand to look at me, I want you to make love to me. My scars are bad, Christian. Really bad. I understand if you can't handle that."

"How can you be so brave? You make me feel like a coward."

"Don't say that! The first time you touched me, remember in your office when I got dizzy? I thought it would burn like it always does, but instead, I felt safe. I never feel safe, only with you. Even when you found out how serious my breathing issues are, you still weren't afraid to touch me. I have never met anyone as brave as you."

"You mean stupid as me. I risked your life just so I could touch you, feel your silky skin, hold you in my arms and just wallow in your scent. It soothes me. Watching you sleep soothes me. Its more. I'm not walking around with a hard-on, I am just content to be with you. You make me feel safe. You make me feel like I am not a monster. You make me feel normal, like I don't have to pretend, I can just be me."

"Good. That's settled then. Now, about Malaysia, what kind of clothes should I bring?"

A look of shock and horror descends over Christiasn's face. "Malaysia! Baby, you can't come to Malaysia, the security would be impossible."

"If security can keep you safe, they can keep me safe. No buts, Christian. We just went on and on about how much we need each other and now you're telling me to stay home? No way!"

"But baby,"

"I get that its going to be dangerous, but I can't be that far away from you. What if something happened. I need to be with you, by your side. If something happens, it happens to both of us. If we are going to live, we can't be afraid to die. I can't be ten thousand miles away worrying about you. Besides, it will give me a chance to practice my languages."

"What languages?"

"I speak Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Malay and Hindu."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"The internet."

"Oh."

"What does that mean? You think I can't be fluent in those languages because I am self taught?"

"Did I say that?"

"You didn't have to."

"Do you speak any other languages?"

"Learning languages became a hobby of mine."

"Do you speak French?"

She immediately slipped into fluent French, shocking Christian. She had no American accent and her rhythm was perfect. "Is your Malay as good as your French?"

"Not quite, but my Mandarin is flawless."

He smiled at her, twisting his fingers in her hair. She smiled back and combed her fingers through his hair and whispered, "wen wo"

"What does that mean?" He asked gently.

Her face moved closer and closer to his as she whispered, "It's Chinese for kiss me."

"Are you sure?

"Yes," she said solemnly.

With the very lightest of touches, Christian brought his lips to hers and kissed her lightly. He pulled back and saw her smile widen. He smiled back then dipped down and placed butterfly kisses over her eyes, her cheeks everywhere across her face. He pulled back a little nervously to gauge her reaction only to see her giddy with joy.

"My turn, now." Slowly her lips neared his, paused, and then ever so gently met his. He felt a zing of energy jolt through his body. It wasn't a butterfly kiss; this was no hit and run. It was a kiss of discovery. She held his lips in place with hers as her tongue flicked out and began to taste his upper lip. Now, it was Christian with a breathing problem. Suddenly, as if she couldn't take it anymore, she broke off the kiss and began to sob into his chest.

Alarmed, Christian held her tight and told her not to worry, kissing was overrated, only to hear her burst out laughing and say, "Are you trying to tell me I am a lousy kisser?"

"No baby, but if kissing makes you cry, we won't kiss."

"Idiot! These are tears of happiness."

"Happiness?"

"Yes, happiness. My boyfriend kissed me."

"Boyfriend, huh?"

"Boyfriend." She says emphatically.

"I've never been a boyfriend before. Does that mean you are my girlfriend?"

"I guess so. I have never been a guys girlfriend before."

"You think we'll fuck up?"

"I know we will fuck up, but we will learn and figure it out together."

"You're not scared?"

"I am nervous, not scared. There is a difference."

"I'm scared shitless. I never thought anything could scare me, but I was wrong." He looked down at her bruised face and felt his insides clench in anger. He pulled her close and gently kissed her forehead. "Go to sleep now," he commanded and added, "I'll stay with you until you care asleep. Then I need to discuss security with Taylor. He is not going to be happy."

Ana closed her eyes and fell asleep with a smile on her face.

After watching her sleep for a few minutes, Grey carefully disengaged his body from Ana's and headed for his study where he called Taylor in for an update.

Taylor entered the study with his IPad. "Sir," he addressed Christian. Barney's hacked into SIP's mainframe. He has info on both Roach and Hyde and has shared it with Ros."

"What specifically did he find?"

"Roach has a gambling problem and Hyde knows. Welch suspects that Roach has embezzeled funds from the company and is being blackmailed by Hyde."

"Interesting."

"Even more interesting is how Hyde got hired. His referenences are bogus. Looks like he hacked some company in Michigan where he only worked six months and was fired. He changed it to six years and raised his salary."

"What was the reason for termination."

"His PA was threatening a sexual discrimination lawsuit. She said he threatened her with termination if she didn't provide him with sexual favors."

"Fuck."

"Ros says she's trying to set up a board meeting for Monday before Roach even knows something is wrong. She already has enough shares to force him out. Once she threatens him with the info Welch and Barney have, the company will be yours."

"Good. Now, regarding the trip to Malaysia, you are going to need to up the security again as Ana will be accompanying us."

Taylor's impeturable mask fell. Grey watched disbelief turn to anger. "Sir, any place else, but not the Malaysia trip."

"I am not asking you, Taylor, I am telling you. Secure her passport and contact Carolyn Acton for a suitable wardrobe."

"But sir, the security..."

"Are you trying to say you can't arrange security for both of us?"

Taylor was getting red in the face and his words were clipped, his tone curt. "Is she aware of the increased danger this trip poses?"

Grey sighed. Taylor was just trying to do his job. In truth, if he had a choice, he would have preferred she stay home. But was home safe? Was anywhere safe? Then he heard a resigned Taylor ask in a more respectful voice, "I thought you were going to back off and slow things down?"

"Not that its any of your business, but Ana doesn't want to slow things down."

Taylor looked surprised and then enlightened. 'Pussy whipped' he thought to himself, 'fucking Christian Grey is completely pussy whipped.' He looked at Grey and smiled, "I'm going to need a fucking bus for all the security you'll need. They'll think fucking Obama is coming."

Grey accepted Taylor's peace offering grin and grinned back.

"You're grinning now, but wearing a bullet proof vest in that humidity isn't going to be fun."

"Go Jason, I know I'm a pain in the ass but I trust you to keep us safe."

"You're a challenge, sir, I'll say that. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to speak with some people in Port Klang."


	11. Chapter 11

Christian sat alone in his study and poured a half glass of scotch. He swirled it around and stared down into the amber liquid as he considered the information Taylor had just given him.

He picked up his cell and called Welch. Welch answered immediately and Christian explained he wanted all of Hyde's electronics to be checked for any reference to Anastasia 'Ana' Steele. After speaking with Welch he checked with Gail about dinner. She advised him that Ana could eat a normal meal if she felt up to it. Christian told Gail he would check with Ana and get back to her.

The bedroom door was ajar and Sawyer was seated beside her bed, staring at her breasts. WTF? "Sawyer!" He called harshly, in a low voice.

Sawyer looked up and stood immediately. Christian jerked his head for Sawyer to meet with him out in the hallway.

"Sir?" Sawyer asked respectfully.

"Why are you sitting next to her bed, staring at her like that?"

"I was monitoring her breathing, sir."

"She doesn't need that anymore. You're dismissed. Report to Taylor."

"Sir, my orders from Taylor..."

"Hold it right there. Don't say another fucking word." Christian picked up the phone and when Taylor answered he simply said "My study. Now."

Christian glared angrily at Sawyer and bit out, "You're dismissed."

Christian glanced down at Ana's face. He felt his anger immediately drop several notches. Then he turned to meet Taylor in his study.

Taylor stood and watched as Grey sat, his movements stiff with anger. Taylor stood, waiting respectfully, knowing he was about to get chewed out and not knowing why.

"Taylor. You need to educate your staff. Sawyer seems to think your orders overrule mine. He has been slow to react lately. I don't like the way he looks at Anastasia. Twice I've seen him look at me as if I were a threat to her safety. This is fucking bullshit. I don't want him looking at her, staring at her breasts and the next time he questions my orders, I will terminate him."

"I am sorry, sir. I will take care of it, you can be sure it won't happen again."

"It better not! If you can't control him, get someone else."

"I am certain I can get Sawyer to change his attitude. I apologize if he has been less than respectful."

"I don't want him in her room anymore."

"Of course, sir."

"I don't trust him Taylor. He was looking at her inappropriately. If I ever find him leering at her like that again, he'll fucking wish I had fired him. I will beat the fucking shit out of him. Are we clear Taylor?"

"Yes, sir."

Christian waved to the door in dismissal and Taylor left. A very angry Taylor left.

He stormed into the security office to see a uncertain Sawyer standing by the window.

In short, staccato movements, Taylor removed his customer made suit jacket and removed his shoulder holster and gun and locked them in the gun safe. Apparently, Sawyer wasn't quite as stupid as he acted because he removed his jacket and handed Taylor his gun as well.

"Follow me." Taylor ordered curtly. Soon Sawyer found himself on the roof. He knew what was coming, even if he didn't understand why. So when Taylors big, meaty fist crashed into his face, he wasn't exactly surprised. Sawyer knew he had somehow crossed an invisible line and he would have to stand there and take whatever Taylor dished out. He touched his cheek where the blow struck only to have it flung away when Taylor punched him again, this time knocking him down to the ground. Fuck, he hit hard!

"Get up! What the fuck did I tell you about that girl? She's off limits! You're not her friend, you're her fucking body guard, and you won't be that if you can't get your shit together."

For the next ten minutes, Taylor proceeded to give Sawyer a lesson in respect. He paused then looked Sawyer over from head to toe. The cut lip and bruises were no big deal, but the firery resentment in his eyes was a major problem. Taylor stood his ground, staring hard into Sawyers eyes and made his decision.

"You're off Ana. Take the rest of the day off."

Sawyer's eyes widened with disbelief and rage. He began to batter his boss with his fists until suddenly he found himself on the deck with Taylor's big shoe pressed hard against his windpipe, effectively choking him. "Now you can take the rest of today and all of tomorrow off without pay for insubordination, while I try and decide whether or not I can still use you anywhere." He squished his heel hard into Sawyers neck, making certain he left a bruise and then turned and left with Sawyer still on the ground.

"T!" Sawyer called out. Taylor paused without turning around.

"T, I'm sorry."

Taylor spun around and walked back slowly toward Sawyer who was just starting to sit up. He got down on his haunches and looked the younger man in the eye, "Talk to me Luke. What the fuck is going on with you? I've got the Malaysia trip next week and now Ana is coming. How the fuck am I going to protect her if you're not there? What is this shit with Grey?"

Luke hung his head and muttered, "She deserves better than Grey."

"What's so wrong with Grey?"

"You know. That kinky shit."

"Luke, you are such a dumb shit. That's all in the past. He hasn't even been with a woman since he gave it up. I saw the two of them when they first met. I swear he didnt know what hit him. She is almost as bad. They are so in love, it isn't funny."

"Come on, Taylor. The fucker doesn't even know how to smile."

"Watch him with her; all he does is smile and flirt. I have even heard him laugh with her. I am telling you, she has him wrapped around her little finger. You think he spoils Mia? You know how he can't seem to tell her no? Well, he's worse with Ana. That young lady is calling all the shots. She is no submissive."

Then Taylor stood and reached out his hand to help Sawyer up. "Come on. You can help me find three more Paul Bunyan's to protect Ana in Port Klang."

"Port Klang? You were serious? She is actually coming?"

"Yes and it's not up for discussion. She's coming and you have to keep her safe."

"Oh fuck."

"And Sawyer, I am warning you, don't let him catch you two laughing and holding hands. He won't understand and he won't blame her. You'll end up feeding the fish in the South China sea."

"Roger that." A glum Sawyer replied.

Christian's phone call with Ros was one of the bright spots of his day, the other being Ana. He was confident after talking to her that he would be able to seal the deal quickly. He needed to check in with Taylor again.

Grey smirked when he saw the bruise on Taylor's face as he entered his study. He merely asked, "Is Sawyer still employed by us?"

"Yes sir, but there will be no more problems with Sawyer."

"There better not be, I am holding you responsible."

"Understood, sir."

"How are the security arrangements coming along?"

"Security wise, this is going to be the most expensive trip you have ever taken."

Grey shrugged.

"I have four Punjabs, ex military, all 6'5 or better for Ana as well as a team of four retired Royal Marines for you, as well as myself, Ryan and Reynolds. Welch will cover security for Escala. I still need four more drivers, and another five or six good men. I'd like a lady for Ana, but its unlikely I'll find someone on such short notice."

"You have three fucking days, Taylor. Find a fucking woman. Make it a priority, understand? I don't want Sawyer escorting her to the ladies room alone.

"Yes, sir.

" What about The Fixer?"

"He's been spotted in Kuala Lampur."

"Great."

"Sir, he was spotted speaking with a very influential Imam."

"What does that mean?"

"We don't know. It could be nothing, or it could significant. We have no way of knowing, sir."

"Best guess?"

"Our best guess and hope is that he is trying to defuse the situation."

"Alright. I have had enough of this shit. I am going in with Ana."

"Yes, sir."

"Tell Mrs Jones dinner at 6:00."

"Yes sir."

Grey stood and Taylor turned to leave when he heard his boss say, "And Taylor, I wasn't kidding about Sawyer. If he ever looks at me like I am a threat, he is gone. Clear?"

"Clear, sir."

Christian entered his bedroom quietly, being careful not to awake Ana. He stood for several minutes just watching her sleep. Her long wavy hair fanned out across her body. It pleased him to see her at rest. The only thing wrong was the bandage. The way her head was tilted, the bandage was visible, reminding him of the wound and how she received it. He walked to the terrace doors and checked them, even though he knew there sensor alarms as well locks that bolted into the floor. Then he walked over to the bed, slipped under the covers and laid down beside Ana. In moments he was asleep. He awoke to Ana sitting up stretching.

"How are you feeling, Ana?"

"A whole lot better. I'm hungry and I need to pee, so excuse me," and with that she stood and made her way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Christian watched her cute little ass sashay across the room and felt a private joy at seeing her in his boxers and tee shirt. He tried to imagine what she would look like in blue silk and ended up with a hard on. The last three years had been difficult but not impossible.

The whores and sluts he met in everyday life held no appeal, never did, never would. Occasionally, he came into contact with a decent, attractive woman that woke up all his hormones. Then, he would think about Leila and remember the sight of her body. He had been caning her as punishment for her changing the music on his iPod and his ring tones. Leila loved to be punished. The harsher, the better. Something happened that night, though. He was thinking about his crack whore mother and he zoned out. He didn't know for how long. When realized what had happened, it was too late. He had beaten Leila bloody. He had stopped in horror, shocked and filled with self loathing as he heard her beg for more and not to stop. All he could think of is she would bhave let him beat her to death.

Thank God for Taylor. He never said a word, just took care of things. He called a doctor

that was well known in the BDSM community. He met him at a clinic at 3:30 in the morning. He left Sawyer there to take her home after she was treated and informed her contract had been canceled.

Three long years that he had been working with Flynn to make sure he never lost control like that again. Often Flynn would suggest he try a more normal relationship, but Christian thought that was impossible. He felt so tainted with evil, it was impossible to imagine anyone but the cheapest whore wanting to spend time with him. Until Ana. How someone so innocent and beautiful could even want to be in the same room as him was incomprehensible.

The bathroom door opened and she walked out. She smiled shyly and said,"Hi!"

"Hi yourself." He ached to hold her, to feel her against his skin. He wanted to taste her, everywhere. He wanted to touch her and see the reaction in her face and in her eyes, but most of all, he wanted to be inside her. Of course, those were dreams. She was no way near ready for anything like that. Slow. They needed to move slow. Very slow. He swallowed with difficulty as he looked at her nipples hardening under his tee shirt. He jumped out of bed quickly and said, "Dinner is almost ready. Get dressed and I will wait for you in the great room,okay?"

"Okay," she smiled.

Sawyer sat in the security office watching the the CCTV through a computer monitor on his desk. A bank of individual monitors hung above him, each set in a different area. The monitor in front of him flicked from camera to camera in an unending loop. Sawyer watched with a bitter taste in his mouth as the boss and Ana left his bedroom headed for the dining room. His breathing eased a little as he saw her relaxed posture and smile. Sawyer fiddled with the controls so that the dining room cameras stayed on his screen. He watched Grey pour her a crystal flute of sparkling water. He saw how she smiled her appreciation and watched her lips offer her thanks.

Christian sat at the head of the table and she sat to his right. They clicked their glasses together in a toast and whatever Grey said, made Ana laugh. Sawyer tried to ignore the pang of jealousy he felt. Then Ana said something and Grey laughed. The fucker actually laughed. Sawyer felt his heart sink a little as he continued to watch the byplay between the happy couple. It was like a different man was sitting at the table. He catered to Ana through the meal, always smiling. Sometimes they didn't talk, but every time they looked at each other, they smiled. Not a shy smile, or a nervous smile, but a contented, secret smile, like they both knew something that nobody else knows. Sawyer was mesmerized by their silent interactions. He looked up and saw Taylor still on the phone and started to play with the volume on his keyboard.

Out of nowhere came Taylor's voice at its most menacing. "Touch that volume and you will be sipping liquids through a straw. It will be weeks before you can have solids again. Not to mention, guys with wired jaws don't attract too many feminine companions. Your sex life will be at an all time low."

"T, its already at an all time low."

"Nah, I'll find someone in Port Klang to help you out, course, I not saying what she looks like, she might be a little older than you're used to, maybe a little heavier."

"Great. I'm not touching the fucking volume, so just stop."

"Fuck, Sawyer. You didn't tell me Flynn was in the garage!"

Taylor scrambled into his jacket, and announced Flynn's arrival just the elevator chimed and the doors opened.

Ana paled and grabbed Christians arm and whispered furiously into his ear. Christian looked at Taylor, letting him know he would be held responsible for this fuck up. Taylor pivoted to escort Flynn to Christian.

Ever the gracious host, Grey invited Flynn to join them and offered him dinner. Flynn declined. Ana kept her eyes down and played with her food sipping frequently on her water. She was uncomfortable for the first time ever with Flynn. She didn't want to have a session, but she wasn't up to telling Flynn.

"Ana, what's wrong?"

"Nothing , John."

"Do you want to skip the session tonight?"

An unbelievably grateful Ana, looked up with tears in her eyes and said, "yes, please."

"Okay, but I am going to tell you what I tell all my patients, when you don't want to do a session, that's when you need a session the most. We can reschedule for Tuesday, how about that?"

At the mention of Tuesday, Ana and Christian both turned to look at each other.

"Is Tuesday a problem, Ana?"

"Um, well, uh..."

"Ana is accompanying me to Malaysia Tuesday. She can Skype you once we get settled in Port Klang."

Ana stared down at the table, avoiding Flynn's eyes.

"Malaysia has some very beautiful areas. Are you looking forward to the trip?"

Suddenly, she came alive as she met Flynn's look, "Oh, yes. I can't wait. Christian booked the entire top floor of the best hotel in Kuala Lumpur. Once his business is over, he is going to take me everywhere. He even promised me an elephant ride in the jungle."

Taylor was out of sight in the hallway to security and staff quarters. He couldn't believe what he just heard. Fucking elephant ride? Was he fucking crazy? His hand rubbed his abdomen, he needed an antacid.

Flynn stood and looked from Christian to Ana and back again. "Before I leave, I just want to tell you both that I am very happy for you. Its obvious that neither one of you know the Meaning of the word slow."

Ana couldn't help it, she giggled. Christian's shoulders sagged as he relaxed and he smiled.

"You are both over 21, enjoy your trip. Ana, I expect a daily text journal from you and a Skype call from both of you at least once a week. Deal? If either of you need to talk, you have my number. Don't think about the time, just call. I am there for you both, 24/7. Okay? Have a safe trip."

They both agreed and Taylor returned to escort Flynn to the elevator. He couldn't wait to get back and confront the boss about the fucking elephant ride. Naturally, Flynn had other ideas. He had questions, suggestions and advice. Taylor dodged the questions like he always did and listened respectfully to the rest. By the time he returned, they were holed up in the bedroom again. Taylor growled and headed for security. Something told him it wouldn't be long before those two were fucking like rabbits.


	12. Chapter 12

Christian followed Ana into the master bedroom. As soon as the door closed, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her, hugging her close to him, but not touching and just holding her.

"How did I ever survive before you came into my life? You make everything feel so new?"

"You're so silly."

"Flynn once asked me what I was waiting for. He kept saying it was time to go out and find someone. He would say somewhere out there is someone waiting for you. I guess I didn't know it then, but I was waiting for you."

"Kiss me. A real kiss, Christian. A make out kiss."

"Have you ever made out?"

"No,"

"Me neither, Ms Steele. I don't think my bedroom is the best place to hold our first make out session. How about the library?"

Ana giggled. "I have never thought about making out in the library."

"I can honestly say, neither have I but now that I have a moment to consider, it sounds like a wonderful place to make out with you. Come on, if you're still game?"

"Yes, with you I am game for anything."

"Making out is all that's on the agenda tonight, okay?"

"More than okay."

The smiling couple, completely oblivious to the rest of the world headed for the library.

In one corner, between the floor to ceiling bookcases and facing the Seattle skyline through the floor to ceiling windows, sat an oversized stuffed chaise. Next to it was an antique table with an antique phone.

Ana smiled and asked if the phone worked.

Christian nodded yes, then added, "I prefer my cell though." Immediately he began texting.

"What are you doing?" She asked innocently.

"Telling Taylor to turn the security cameras off and to get us some snacks. What do you want to drink?"

"Iced tea."

Christian added it to his text then put his phone down on the table. Before Ana could ask, he picked her up, laid down on the chaise and laid her right beside him. They were each on their side, facing one another. Ana giggled. Christian smiled.

Face to face with a woman laying beside him was not something he was used to, unless she was restrained. It made it a completely new experience. He had every intention of taking it slow. His plans were to talk, snack and then make out, but when he looked into those amazing blue eyes, he felt all his resolve fly out the window. It was like someone sucked all the air out of his lungs, and if he didn't kiss her, really kiss her, right now, he would die.

She understood. Maybe she felt the same way. Slowly he lowered his head until their lips met. He wanted to groan in delight. She did. Slowly, he thrust his tongue out and gently outlined her lips. Her hands reached up and dived into his hair, pulling his head closer. He felt his whole body tingle, every cell in his body was awakened. His senses were on overdrive. The scent of her, the soft, silkiness of her skin, even the rough abrasions on her cheek left by Elena broke through the defenses he had spent his whole life building up. He paused and broke off the kiss to check on her reaction, satisfied, he nuzzled the facial abrasions with his lips, angry that Elena would ever think of hurting someone so innocent. Carefully, with one hand supporting her head, the other innocently wrapped around her, he started to slowly nudge his tongue into her mouth. She gasped and he was in. His hands soothed the side of her head as he stilled his tongue momentarily giving her a chance to accommodate the new sensations. He was being more patient than he had ever been in his life when suddenly her tongue began to explore. He gave her a moment before their tongues began to dance. He pressed his face harder and thrust his tongue deeper than moaned happily as she reciprocated. He could feel his arousal, painfully hard and grunted for the sheer pleasure of it. It was like he had been dead and she brought him back to life.

She broke off the kiss than and giggled. "What was that?"

How could he explain the primal need of man to basically rut like a wild animal?"

Just then a knock on the door caught his attention, and Taylor came in carrying a tray of beverages. Beer, a pitcher of iced tea and a carafe of white wine. Gail followed with a tray of chips, pretzels and pop corn celery, carrot sticks and onion dip.

"Onion dip, Mrs Jones?" He asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

"As long as you each have some, it won't matter." She smiled.

Ana stretched beside him and said, "I could feed you."

He looked at her strangely, his eyes darkening, his hand reached out and caressed the side of her face, "No one's ever fed me before."

"Another first, Mr Grey?"

"Another first, Ms Steele."

Taylor grabbed Gail by the elbow and gently guided her to the door. Once outside, she broke down and sobbed into his chest. "He's a different man, she is making him happy. It's so beautiful to see. I love my job."

Taylor rolled his eyes, knowing Gail couldn't see. Of course she loved her job; she got to make Grey snacks while he got to arrange fucking elephant rides.

An hour later the happy couple appeared in the kitchen, bringing their snacks and drinks. Christian explained he needed an update from Taylor and had to make a quick call to Ros.

He was not expecting Ana to choose that moment to drop a bomb on him.

"Christian, I need to see my dad before we go to Malaysia. I haven't seen him in almost two weeks. Can Sawyer drive me tomorrow while you're working?"

"Let me talk to Taylor. I will get you to your dad, don't worry." Just don't think its going be with Sawyer and you alone in a car for three and a half hours.

"Okay, I am going to grab a shower, alright?"

Christian smiled, "That's fine babe." He answered and prayed she didn't look at his crotch. He watched her head toward the master bedroom and knew his reprieve was temporary. He headed for his study and texted Taylor as he strode across the great room.

He had no sooner sat down then Taylor knocked. Christian quickly explained the problem. Sawyer was going nowhere alone with Ana. If they couldn't talk her into Charley Tango, Taylor would have to ride up with Sawyer.

Taylor tried to suggest Ryan ride with Sawyer but Grey was adamant. He would take Ryan and Reynolds to Grey House. Taylor was on Ana. Taylor reluctantly agreed.

Christian entered his bedroom to the sound of Ana singing in the shower. He grimaced. She did not sing well. In fact, calling it singing was a stretch. He walked into his closet and stripped to his boxers. He grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms and a white cotton tee shirt and came out of the closet and sat on the bed waiting for Ana to leave the bathroom. The shower was off, so it shouldn't be long. When the bathroom door opened and she stepped into the bedroom, his mouth dropped open. She wasn't wearing his tee shirt and boxers, instead she was dressed in a baby blue silk nightgown with a bold v in the front, showing the delightful swell of her breasts. His eyes were drawn to her nipples. He watched as they hardened and pressed against the soft silk.

He couldn't help the groan that escaped his mouth or how his right hand began to rub his dick through his underwear.

Ana noticed and smiled. Then she began to speak.

"Before we can take this relationship any further, I need to show you my scars."

"No baby, you don't. I don't care about your scars."

"Yes, Christian, I do. I need to explain. If nothing else I owe you that."

"Come sit beside me." Christian called patting the empty space beside him.

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"Dont be ridiculous. My feelings for you aren't about to change because you have scars. You know that, don't you?"

Ana gave in and sat on the bed and Christian pulled her to his side.

It was hard to look him in the eye, but she screwed up her courage and did just that. In a nervous, fluttery voice, she began, "I have never told this story in full before to anyone, so listen up. This is the condensed version. I have no intentions of ever repeating it. Okay?"

Christian nodded, frightened at how serious she was.

"Husband number three, I still can't say his name, he hurt me. He physically and mentally abused me. I lost count of how many times I ran police always found me and brought me back. I tried telling them what he did to me but no one ever believed me. He told them I was a rebellious teenager, 13, in counseling, a pathological liar and a slut. They believed him, not me. After they left, he would punish me. He said I belonged to him and I would learn respect and obedience if it killed me. It almost did. He would beat me with a belt, sometimes, like when the police brought me back, he would use the buckle.

He had me withdrawn from school, claiming the other kids were a bad influence. He said he would home school me. He never did, at least not in normal subjects. I had no one. No friends, Ray was out of the country and my mother, she went along with him on everything. He loved to beat me in front of her. She never said a word. I think she knew if he wasn't beating me, he would be beating her. I never could figure that out. I know she resented me but I never understood why. They both drank and I know that had something to do with it, but still...

Anyway, back to my story. My right breast is perfectly normal and untouched. My left breast is another story. My mother was a waitress. She worked from four to midnight, then came home and got drunk. He would already be drunk. He wanted me to give him oral sex and I refused. It was the reason I ran away. Every time I refused, he would burn my left breast with a cigarette. He burned rings into my breast, so it would look like a target you see on the firing range. My nipple was the bullseye. He-he said he would have to go out and buy a big cigar to hit the bullseye because a cigarette wouldn't do it justice."

She broke down into tears for a moment. Christian held her tight, unable to completely hide his rage. Ana took a shuddering breath and continued.

"I knew then what I had to do. I wasn't allowed out of the house. Once my mother came home, I was locked in my room. Ray had been out of country but he was back. He had called me twice, but I wasn't allowed to speak with him. The second time he called I was close enough to the phone to see his number on caller ID. I ran to my room and scribbled it on a page in a book I was reading. In the middle of the night, i tied my sheets together and somehow managed to slip out the window in the middle of the night. The nearest pay phone was at a gas station about a mile away. I called Ray collect at 3 in the morning. I hid in the woods behind the gas station. Ray showed up just before 9 am. I was back in my room at Montessano by 3pm.

Once he got me, I started to cry. I didn't stop for three days. When I called I didn't tell him what he did, just that he hurt me. When he found out what happened, he wanted to take me to a doctor but I got completely hysterical. No one was ever going to touch me again. Ray was the only person I would let near me. He treated my wounds and never said a word.

So, now I want to show you, I want you to have an option. I am ugly, Christian. It will make you want to be sick. Its okay. I understand. Please, don't feel bad if that happens."

A stunned, emotionally shocked Christian looked up at her bewildered. "Is that how you see me? Unable to love you because your body has scars? Do you really believe I am that shallow?"

"I don't know, but I have to protect myself. I need to expect the worst so that I have the strength to endure it, but I always hope for a miracle."

Slowly, she slipped out of his arms and stood. She slipped her arms out of the nightgown and let it fall to her waist. She stood in front of him, half naked, eyes closed, expecting the worst. The silence stretched out to at least two minutes, though to Ana, it felt like two hours. She wanted to open her eyes but was too afraid to see a look of revulsion on Christians face. Then she heard him move off of the bed, towards her until she could feel his breath on her face.

"Open your eyes." He commanded in a deep sultry voice.

She hesitated, then complied.

"You are beautiful." Ever so slowly, his fingers approached her left breast without actually touching it.

He stopped then and took a step back. Grabbing his tee shirt at the bottom hem, he pulled it off and tossed it on the floor. "These," he continued in a trembling voice, motioning at her scars, "These, " this time his voice broke and tears fell from his emotional grey eyes. "These," he started once again, "These are badges of honor, a testament to your fortitude. They are the proof that it really did happen, and the proof that you really did survive it. Some people would not be able to survive what you did, and who can blame them? But you, Anastasia, are incredibly strong. You have the courage of ten men. You had no one, no one, hell, Ana, I don't think I would have made it in your shoes. Touch me please. No one has ever touched my scars. Please, I want you to, I need you to."

"Hold me, Christian. Please, just hold me tight, my scars to your scars. I only ask if I stop breathing, let me go. I don't want to be in a world without you."

"Silly girl, you will never be without me, if I have anything to say about it. Come closer now. You are safe, my beautiful, brave woman. Now is your time. Come into my arms, let our bodies touch, let me feel your strength."

Clutching the nightgown around her waist, Ana slowly moved forward until her breasts grazed his chest. She jump back, then giggled.

Christian smiled, he had felt the jolt of electricity as well.

"Well, I am still breathing, but why do I always get a shock when I touch you?"

"Because are bodies are very sexually attracted to each other. There is a lot of sexual energy being emitted by both of us. The more intimate we become, the more we will be able to control it."

"Oh." Ana stepped back then and let the silk nightgown fall to the floor. "I'm not done yet, Christian. There's more scars on my butt. She turned then, and Christian couldn't help the horrified gasp.

"Jesus, oh God, oh Ana, Jesus, " he was crying openly now. He had been expecting more cigarette burns, but her beautiful ass was covered in scars from the belt buckle. There were some long scars from where she was beaten with something hard, repeatedly, leaving deep lash marks that scarred. He approached her slowly with tears falling down his cheeks, "Ana, please, baby, tell me the motherfucker is dead."

She turned to face him. "One day, a few weeks after I got home to Ray, he got a phone call. He told me the next day he would be gone all day, but would be home for supper. He told me not to be afraid because he had two of his Marine buddies guarding the house, but they weren't allowed in. No one else would be allowed in either. He was home for supper. Every night he would give me a gentle hug and a kiss on my forehead. I was always stiff and scared.

That night when he hugged me, he whispered, " Sleep good tonight, Annie. You dont have to worry about that monster anymore. He will never hurt anyone again."

"I never asked where he went that day or how he knew why I didn't have to worry. I understood."

Christian bent down and pulled her night gown back up, letting her slip her arms into the cap sleeves.

" I want to meet him. Will you come with me in Charley Tango? Just you and me."

"What, no Taylor?"

"He'll drive up and meet us at the helipad."

Please, Ana. It will be so much faster. You feel safe with me, don't you? I would be the pilot."

"You! You would be the pilot?"

He smiled and leered at her, "I'm more than just a pretty face, babe."

"I never doubted that. Its so scary though, its so loud."

"Please, Ana?" He begged.

"Okay. I'll give it a try."

"Great!"

"How about I show you Charley Tango without the engine running. Once you're aboard and comfortable, I'll start him up and we'll be with your dad in no time." Christian smiled confidently.

"Okay. I want my dad to meet you too, even if he can't respond. I think he will hear us and I want him to know you are in my life. I want him to know for the first time since I was thirteen, I am not afraid. I want him to know I am not alone anymore."

Christian Nuzzled her shoulder and the soft silk. "Mmm, I love you in silk."

"Honestly, Christian, I feel like a fraud wearing such beautiful silk."

" Never say that. You are beautiful, everywhere, inside and out. Does Flynn know about your obsession with being ugly?"

"Its not an obsession, its just facing the truth."

"You're evading. Does Flynn know?"

"I have lots of issues, Christian. My self image is the least of them."

"Bring it up next time you see him? Please? For me?"

"What is it about you that makes it so hard to say no?"

Christian stepped away from her, grinned down at her and said in his sexiest voice, "I am irresistible, baby, don't feel bad. Hell, even in the board room, I can make things go my way."

"Bull shit! Go take your shower, I am going to bed."

"Don't fall asleep until I come back and kiss you goodnight."

"Okay, I'll wait for you."

Christian winked and then headed to the bathroom.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N

I couldn't post this chapter as soon as I finished as the server for FF is down. For me, this turns out to be a good thing because, instead of rushing to publish, I was able to remember to do an authors note. Usually, i am in such a hurry, I forget. So let me take the time to thank everyone who is reading this story and, hopefully, enjoying it. I sincerely appreciate all of your comments and reviews. Thank you. You encourage me.

Christian laid in bed watching Ana sleep. It was a serene, peaceful sleep, unlike the nightmare she had suffered a couple of hours earlier. It had taken a full five minutes before she was able to stop struggling and stop screaming. Her anquish had brought tears to his eyes. He knew how it felt to know someone else had witnessed your vulnerability, to awake amidst a hangover of horror, but to see someone else suffer like that nearly broke him. Now, in a calm, deep sleep, her steady breathing calmed him and somehow strengthened him. He didn't ponder the why's, just lolled in the sweet comfort that being close to Anastasia provided.

Unfortunately, he didn't sleep. He watched the red glowing numbers on the bedside alarm clock flicker through the night as the hours sped away. He laid beside her watching her chest rise and fall as he considered the decisions the next day would require. Decisiveness seemed to be built into his DNA.

The most difficult decision involved Sawyer and whether or not he should make the trip. If Christian was honest with himself, he would admit that it had already been decided. What he hadn't decided was whether or not to terminate him. He held no personal feelings for Sawyer, unlike Ana. He needed to speak with Taylor. He looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. The glowing red numbers flashed 4:38. He slid out of bed, and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door before picking up the house phone and dialing Taylor.

"Taylor," he answered swiftly, if a bit groggy.

"I am going for a run in ten minutes."

"Yes, sir." He replied, respectfully as always. Grey couldn't help smiling as he imagined Taylor's reaction once he was off the phone.

At precisely 4:48 Grey met Taylor by the elevator. They nodded at each other but declined to speak. Once outside, Grey hit the streets hard. Both men were fit but Grey set a punishing pace. It had been a while since they ran the streets this long and this hard. An hour and ten minutes later the two exhausted men walked into Escala. Once back in the penthouse, he told Taylor to meet him in his study in thirty minutes.

Christian took a quick shower, shaved and dressed and was behind his desk when Taylor knocked.

"Sit," he commanded.

"Taylor, we have to do something about Sawyer."

Grey watched as Taylor's shoulders sagged ever so slightly. "Admit it, if it was anyone else, they would already be gone."

Taylor grimaced at the truth of Christian's words.

Grey continued, "I don't care if he likes me. I don't care about anything except him keeping Anastasia safe. If he is going to continue to act like I am the biggest threat to her safety, he is not doing his job. I realize, I might be a little bit insecure with his interest in her, but the bottom line is, he's so busy looking at me, he's going to miss the real threat."

Taylor reluctantly nodded. He had come to the same conclusion. "I agree, sir, but I don't think Ana will. I have two females interviewing later this morning. I may hire both of them. I think we need to have a sit down with Ana and Sawyer and see what he has to say. If nothing else, Ana has to hear him disrespect you to understand how this situation has escalated. You wouldn't want her to think you fired him because you were jealous."

"God, no."

Taylor returned to the security office to see Sawyer, sipping coffee and filing reports on line. Taylor was not in the mood to be sociable. Ryan and Reynolds caught on immediately and promptly disappeared without a word. He looked at Sawyer and said, "Do me a favor, take a break."

Sawyer ignored him and went back to his filing. This continued defiance was intolerable.

Sawyers reluctance to leave bordered on insolance. An irritated Taylor now ordered him to take a fucking break but be back at 8:30. Sawyer nodded with a smirk and left leaving Taylor more annoyed than ever.

Taylor pulled his working itinerary for Malaysia. Seven fifteen in the morning in Seattle translated to eight thirty at night in Kuala Lumpur. A good time to check in with the owner of Kuala Gandah Elephant Refuge and make arrangements for it to be closed for the duration of their visit which would include an elephant ride. First, he sent Ana a text requesting her presence in a meeting with Sawyer at 8:30 AM. Then, he called Malaysia.

Taylor heard voices outside his office and laughing. It was Ana and Sawyer. He looked at his watch, it was 8:29. He grimaced, knowing neither one would be smiling when this meeting was over.

At exactly 8:30AM, Sawyer knocked briskly and said something to Ana to set her off giggling again. Taylor frowned, straightened his tie and called out for them to enter.

"Hi Taylor," Ana greeted him with a relaxed smile and sat in the chair Taylor pointed to.

Sawyer sat beside her.

"Ana, Sawyer, " Taylor stood and greeted them both. "We are here today to discuss your personal security, Ana, and to decide whether or not changes need to be made.

" Wh-what do you mean? Changes?" Ana asked. Then, before Taylor could respond, she turned to Sawyer and asked, "Luke, what does he mean?"

A sarcastic Sawyer looked innocently at Taylor and said, "I don't know, Ana. Gee, Taylor, what do you mean?"

Taylors nostrils flared as he inhaled and tried to calm himself. "Ana, Sawyer is aware of the issues we have with his performance. I have addressed them with him privately several times but he hasn't made any effort to change."

"Taylor, you're talking as if you were going to replace him."

"I may have to. He has been defiant, overly personal and shown his employer blatent disrespect."

"Luke?"

"How can I respect him after the way he treats you?"

Ana looked at him, confused."Wh-what do you mean, the way he treats me?"

"Oh, come on, Ana. I know what he does to you when he takes you to bed. I heard you last night. I heard you beg him to stop, but he didn't, did he? I heard you screaming as he tortured you. I can't take it Ana, to hear you screaming in pain. Please, let me take you away. I'll find a place where Grey can't find you. I'll keep you safe. You don't have to be afraid. Please, Ana, let me help you." Luke pleaded.

A pale Ana stared at Luke like he had two heads. She looked at Taylor, and saw his look of sympathy. She shook her head in disbelief as slowly her righteous indignation began to rise.

"So," she said standing and then starting to pace in front of Sawyer. "You, you know just what Christian does to me?"

"Yes, Ana. Don't believe the bullshit he tells you. Pain is pain. Its not pleasure. It kills me every time I see him take you in the bedroom. I wanted to break the door down last night, but fucking Taylor wouldn't let me. He said it was a nightmare, but I know the truth, he was just covering for Grey."

Sawyer stood then, grabbed her arm and pushed the sleeve up, revealing a bruise that was clearly made by a man' s hand, "Look, Taylor, this is what your precious Grey did."

Taylor spoke then. "Actually, Sawyer, I am responsible for that bruise. Ana tripped on the stairs yesterday. I was behind her and managed to grab her and prevent her from falling."

Ana stopped pacing and faced Sawyer. "I cant believe this! Listen to me, Sawyer!" Ana yelled, poking her finger repeatedly into Sawyers chest. "Christian does not hurt me. He has never hurt me and I would not tolerate him hurting me. He is the most gentle, sweetest man on the planet. How dare you talk about him like this? Who do you think you are?"

Sawyer paled as he suddenly realized just how wrong his assumptions were.

"I had a nightmare last night. A horrible, terrifying nightmare. Thank God Christian was there to pull me out of it. Does he know you think he hurts me?"

Sawyer stared at the floor and didn't answer.

"Oh my God! He does! How could you do that to him? Oh, I can't believe this! I trusted you and you turned on me and hurt him. How could you do that to him? Just because he had kinky sex? Let me tell you something, we haven't been intimate yet, but if and when we do, what we do won't be any of your business, kink or no kink!"

"But Ana, I was just trying..."

"Don't ever call me Ana again. From now on, its Ms Steele to you." Then she turned back to Taylor and asked, "How did he take it?"

Taylor sighed. "Ana, how about you and I talk privately now. Sawyer, I'll let you know my decision after my talk with Ana. You can leave now."

A chastened Sawyer left the room with his head down.

"So, Ms Steele, you see the dilemma we have?"

"Taylor, he almost sounded like he was asking me to run away with him!"

"He's young, and thinking with his hormones. Regardless of why, we have to decide what to do about your personal security for this trip."

Ana blushed and looked down at the floor. Taylor leaned forward and had to strain to hear her mumbled words. "I am honestly not comfortable that he thought about Christian and I being intimate."

"I can tell you Christian is not happy with being viewed as a threat to your safety."

"It's my fault. You were right. I never should have been so informal with him. To be honest, I need some space from him right now. Does he have to come Malaysia?"

"Ana, anyone else would already be terminated."

"Does Christian want him terminated?"

"Christian wants you safe. Right now, your safety is compromised because your security is looking at the wrong threat."

"How long will we be away?"

"Its difficult to be sure, but no less than 10 days. Maybe longer."

"I know for sure I don't want him around me right now, or on the Malaysia trip, but I don't think I want him fired either."

Taylor smiled gently at Ana and said, "Don't worry about Sawyer. I am going to suspend him for one week then assign him to Mia for two weeks. Then we will reevaluate."

"What about in the mean time?"

"I have hired four big Punjabi ex soldiers to provide 24/7 security for you on the Malaysia trip. I am also interviewing later this morning. I would like to introduce both candidates to you and make sure you feel comfortable with them before I hire them. Would that be alright?"

"Of course, Taylor. I am so glad Christian is flying me to Portland. Going on a long car trip with Sawyer right now is not on my list of things to do."

"Alright, Ana. You can go now. I am going to have an engineer come in and check the soundproofing in your bedroom. We have always been able to hear Mr Greys nightmares but I think you both need more privacy now."

Ana blushed, thanked Taylor and hurriedly left the room, still blushing. An hour and a half later, Taylor called her in to meet two new security candidates. Both were women and stood when she entered the room. Taylor introduced her first to Jennifer Molloy, and then to Brianna Fitzpatrick. Both women wore a minimum of make up and their dark brown hair pulled back into a tight bun. They were both tall, at least 5'10.

Ana smiled politely at both, greeted them warmly and sat down.

"Ana, is there anything you would like to ask these ladies? " Taylor asked.

"No, Taylor. I wouldn't know what to ask."

"They are aware of how serious your security situation is, of the attempts on your life and the assault by Mrs Lincoln. They are aware of your breathing problem and hope to work with you on that. They are both markmen and licensed to carry in several countries including Malaysia." Taylor paused and Ana took that moment to speak.

Looking at the two young ladies, she began, "I trust Taylor, I am sure you are both well qualified and come with impeccable references. Instead of me asking you questions, how about you ladies asking me questions?"

"Fitzpatrick here, M'am, you can call me Fitz. My only concern is if we have a need to bring you to the ground and cover you, would you stop breathing?"

"The only thing I can say to reassure you is I have never stopped breathing because a woman touched me. To be honest, no female but my roommate has touched me in years so in all honestly, I don't know."

Fitz looked at Taylor with concern in her eyes. Then she looked sideways at her partner Molloy. Then she shook her head no. "This is a problem, Taylor. I can't be responsible for endangering her life."

"I understand your position. I have an idea. Stay with us the rest of the day. Work as Ms Steele's security. When we return to Seattle this evening, we'll meet again. Perhaps at that time, after getting to know you a little, Ms Steele may be able to shake hands with you."

Fitz turned to Ana, "Is that true?"

"Taylor never lies. I would certainly be willing to try."

"Wow!" Molloy said excitedly. "I am looking forward to being your CPO. Most of the time in this work, the people you are hired to protect, well, they're not always likeable. We don't care, its a job. We protect them, regardless of whether or not we like them. You, on the other hand, are brave and courageous and willing to risk your life by shaking hands? I am in awe Ms Steele. It will be an honor to protect you.

Ana smiled and Taylor thanked her for coming. He explained he had some things to go over with the girls and would speak to her later. Ana left, relieved that security would be with them when they traveled to Portland. It was her first outing since being shot. Hopefully, they could avoid the media.

At two thirty that afternoon, Ana quickly learned the media were not to be avoided. With Christian on her left and Taylor on her right, she started towards the vehicle they would be riding in. The plan was for Taylor to drive with Fitz riding shotgun. Ryan would follow in a chase car with Molloy. The media were out in force with very little police presence. As they walked briskly towards the vehicles, the press surged closer. Ryan started shoving reporters out of their path. Molloy and Fitz separated and prepared for action. They knew they appeared the weakest link and would therefore draw the most attention.

The first to try was a wiry photographer. He appeared out of nowhere and was crazy fast.

Molloy was faster. She sent a spinning kick into his abdomen that dropped him like a rock. Then she pulled out the memory card from his camera and stomped the camera with her boot just be sure. Three more wiry photographers went down before a giant appeared. He gave the girls a menacing grin as he headed straight for Anastasia.

Without hesitating, Fitz ran out and blocked his path. He was a 6'5 Croatian and he wanted a close up Grey and Anastasia. He snarled something in his native language and Fitz snarled something back in the same tongue. He stood there staring at her in shock and then burst out laughing. Then he turned to the rest of the media and urged them backwards. He turned to look at Fitz once more and bowed respectfully. She gave him a flirtatious curtsy after shutting the door behind Ana and then made her way to the chase car.

They had been warned to expect the unexpected, the media could suddenly appear out of nowhere. Hopefully, no one at the nursing home would be expecting them. Hopefully, Ms Steele's father would be doing better. Hopefully, everything would go according to plan, but this was real life, and Fitz had learned a long time ago, things rarely go the way you plan them.


	14. Chapter 14

Ana followed the nurse down the corridor as she clutched Christians hand. Fitz and Molloy followed behind. Ryan had stayed with the vehicle. Finally they came to her fathers room, #303. A small typed card read RAYMOND STEELE.

Ana thanked the nurse then turned to Christian and asked to see her Dad alone, before introducing Christian. He instantly agreed. She entered the room, slightly hesitant, and approached her fathers bed. Almost unnoticed, Fitz slipped into the room and headed for the far corner. At first Ana felt indignant that Fitz had followed her in, then she remembered Taylor explaining that one of the girls would always be with her when she was away from Escala. She would never be alone and she would have to get used to that. She was to pretend they were invisible. Ana huffed at the thought, and finally looked at Ray.

Her knees went weak and she grabbed the siderail. She gasped audibly and moaned, "Daddy!" Her anguish at her fathers appearance readily apparent. "Oh, Daddy." She clasped his hand in hers and hugged it her, kissing it, letting her tears fall on it, struggling for control, not quite able to talk. He was thinner and he seemed stiffer, more frozen. After a minute or so, she felt calmer. Her tears slowly stopped and her breathing came under control. Ray's eyes were open, but seemed blank. "Daddy, I met someone. His name is Christian. He is special Daddy. I think I love him. He has scars too and haphephobia too! But guess what, we can touch each other and it doesn't hurt. Daddy, he kissed me and I kissed him back! He makes me feel alive."

Suddenly, Ana let out a small squeel, Fitz asked what was wrong. Ana explained, he squeezed her hand.

"Daddy, Christian has a bodyguard named Taylor. Taylor said not to give up on you because Marines never quit. He said to tell you Semper Fi. I know you probably want to know more about Christian before you meet him. He flew me here in his helicopter. He owns his own business, its called Grey Enterprise Holdings. Tomorrow we are flying to Malaysia in his private jet. I am going to go get him, Daddy. I'll be right back."

Ana brought Christian in and led him to her father's bed. "Daddy, this is Christian, my boyfriend." Christian reached down and clasped the mans hand in both of his, squeezing tight, offering him his strength. Ana smiled encouragingly and walked over to Fitz for some idle chat and to give Christian a bit of privacy.

"You have a beautiful daughter, sir. I swear to you I will protect her and keep her safe. She will want for nothing. Nothing is more important to me than Anastasia. My feelings for her, well, I have never felt like this before. I feel like, like we have always known each other. It's like she is the other half of my soul. I need her to breathe. I need her to be able to sleep. Everyday, this feeling it just grows stronger. I'd be the first person to tell you I am not worthy of her, yet I can't turn away. My feeling for Anastasia are forever. When we're come back from Malaysia in a couple of weeks, we will come visit with you again.

For now, know that your Annie is safe. You did a good job, Ray. She is one in a million. Just between you and me, I hope it won't be long before I can ask your permission to marry her. So we really need you to wake up. Ana needs you to walk her down the aisle. I need your blessing. I need to know you think I am worthy of her. I know we only know each other a week, but sometimes you just know. I never thought of marriage or spending my life with someone, but now all I can think of is sharing my life with Ana. I want to give her the world, but every time I give her something, she gets mad and says I spent too much money. Ray, I'm a billionaire. I've worked hard to earn my money. What am I supposed to do, go to Walmart? She'll get used to it, I guess.

They tell me its been three months since the accident. It doesnt look look like anyone did too much. Well, Ray, that's over. I have a top neurologist coming in, with a whole team of specialists. We are having you transferred to a special clinic that only deals traumatic brain injuries. It will be hard work, but we expect to see improvement. I know you can hear me, I can feel the angry vibes your body is giving off. I know you can't move or express yourself, but you can hear me and you can feel emotions. Keep trying, Ray. Don't give up. Thank you for listening to me. I'll get Ana."

The nurse came in then and Ana asked about him squeezing her hand. The nurse assured her it meant nothing. She explained squeezing her hand or blinking his eyes was something he was asked to do on a daily basis, so far without success. Christian looked down at Ray and saw his eyes filled with what appeared to be tears. "Nurse! Is he crying?"

The nurse looked, nodded and replied, "Yes. Its just a physical reaction. It means nothing."

Ana bent down and kissed Ray's cheek. She wife his tears away with a tissue and whispered, "Its okay, Daddy. I understand. I love you Daddy. I love you so much! I pray for you every day. Please, Daddy, please try to wake up. Fight, Daddy. I need you, please?"

She kissed him again and then straightened, patting his hand. "We'll be back Daddy in about two weeks. Christian is having you transferred to a special clinic outside of Seattle. Try, Daddy. Please, just try. I love you," and then unable to talk anymore she rushed to the corridor where Taylor caught her and let her sob into his chest. Fitz followed behind her.

Grey moved to Ray and said, "We are leaving now Sir. I am closing a deal for a ship yard that runs container ships in Port Klang, Malaysia. Ana wants to come with me. I have a security team of four men , and two females just to watch over her. I don't believe what the nurse says. I think you can hear us and you can feel us, its just somehow you are trapped inside. I hope and pray the new clinic will be able to help you. Good luck, sir. I need to go now but I want you to know it was an honor to meet you. You raised a remarkable daughter. See you in two weeks." With that, Grey patted Ray's hand one final time and left.

He gently inched Ana out of Taylors arms and into his. He pulled her close and buried his face in her hair, whispering encouragement. She lifted her tear streaked face to his, then captured his face in her hands and said, "Thank you, Christian. You are so sweet. Thank you. Thank you for everything, for being so kind, so respectful to Ray. Some people would just see a frail, old man in a twisted body, but you didn't."

"Don't give up, Ana. That's what I told him. Keep fighting, don't quit. He's a Marine, don't count him out. Come on now, let's get home."

With one arm wrapped around Ana, holding her tucked into his side, they headed down the hallway, to the exit and back to Seattle. Ana sat silently in her seat on Charley Tango, eyes closed and gently weeping. She couldn't help but wonder what the future held. Had she done the right thing by introducing Christian? What if worrying about her was the only thing keeping him alive? But what if he couldn't make it, wouldn't knowing there was someone in her life to take care of her, wouldn't knowing that be a kindness? Back and forth, all the way home, she debated with herself. Should she go with Christian or should she stay? Should she have told Ray about Christian, or should she have kept her mouth shut. Then there were the new doctors. What if they said there was no hope? How would she ever accept that?

It took a moment for her to realize the rotors weren't turning anymore and Christian wasn't beside her in the pilots seat, he was outside and unbuckling her harness. Without a word, he reached in and picked her up and carried her to the elevator. Her mind wanted to resist, but leaning into his body felt so good, so safe, so right. Letting Christian take care of her seemed normal. Holding on to him like this, she was able to let his strength seep into her. She closed her eyes again and savored everything that was the man Christian Grey.

Once in the penthouse, he gently laid her down in his bed. Then he went in the bathroom and ran a hot bath for her. He added lilac and vanilla bath oils and then selected some soothing music on his iPod and placed it in the dock. When he returned to Ana she was exactly where he left her, still looking shattered.

Gazing at her from across the room and seeing the pain on her face almost caused Christian to panic. For a moment he questioned his every action. Maybe a bath wasn't what she needed, maybe he should call Gail, but as he neared Ana, that special zing between them hit him again before he even touched her. She needed him and in some inexplicable way, he needed her more than anyone or anything he had ever needed in his life. He needed her beside him. He needed to make her happy and then he was happy. He needed to make her feel safe because than he felt safe. Confident now, he reached down and picked her up and carried her to the bathroom. He sat her down in a chair. She sat back, he looked into her eyes as he asked if she needed help undressing for her bath.

She nodded yes. Slowly, and gently, he disrobed her. First he unbuttoned the blue button down shirt that she was wearing. Slowly, he slid the shirt off her shoulders, frequently pausing to drop a soft kiss on each shoulder and her neck and down her arms. When his hands went to the clasp of her bra, she closed her eyes.

"Open your eyes, Ana."

Slowly her wide blue eyes opened.

"My beautiful, brave Ana." His hand knuckled her cheek, " Her marks are almost gone." He announced softly, "and the smudge here," he said, his finger tracing the skin below her eye, " this looks like a mascara smudge."

Ana stared into his darked Grey eyes as her bra sprang open and Christian slipped it off. His hands ran feather light up and down her arms, easing the trembling that her whole body felt.

He hauled her up to a standing position. "Don't be afraid. This is just a bath. I am here to take care of you. Relax. This is for your pleasure." At last she stood before him naked. He gazed at her body with unadulterated lust but made no move to touch her. "God, you are so beautiful!" His nostrils flared as his breathing quickened. He saw her nervous reaction to his arousal. "Okay, let's get you in the water." He offered his hand for balance as she stepped into the oversized tub and slowly slid from sight beneath the bubbles.

He handed her a wash cloth which she eagerly accepted and immediately covered her breasts. Then he stood, promising to be right back. He returned a moment later carrying two flutes of champagne. He offered her one and she accepted it with a giggle. She took a tiny sip and couldn't help but giggle again.

"Christian, this is so you. Champagne and bubble baths, a bit over the top but so sweet. Anyone else would have put me to bed, shut the door and let me cry myself to sleep. Not you, though."

Christian smiled, "Not me." Then taking a generous sip of his champagne, he set the glass down on the sink and picked up another was cloth and knelt beside the tub. He wet the cloth and then poured vanilla and lilac shower gel into it. Then, as if he did it every day, he casually lifted one of Ana's feet out of the water and began to wash it."

"Ch-Christian! What are you doing?" Ana demanded nervously.

"I am washing your foot."

"Christian, I am not helpless. I can wash myself!"

"Of course you can, but today I want to. I want to care for you. I want you to just relax and let me take fare of everything. You trust me, don't you?"

"Yes, but..."

"Yes but?"

Ana giggled. "All right, you can wash my feet."

Christian smiled, "That's a beginning. You know you can stop me at any time. If anything is too much, just tell me. Okay?"

Ana nodded and Christian returned to washing her foot. After several minutes Ana actually did begin to relax. Surprised, she let her eyelids close and savored the Christians hands massaging her feet. The wash cloth was forgotten as Christian used his bare hands to massage her foot. Every time his fingers rubbed circles into the ball of her foot, she felt echo's of his touch in her groin. Her breathing was becoming more rapid, but in an way she had never experienced before. She was struggling to decide whether nor not she should ask him to stop when he took her big toe in his mouth and began to suck.

Her face flushed as she gasped in a mixture of horror and delight. The touch of his tongue, the pull of his mouth were creating all kinds of new feathery sensations in her nether regions. Her core began to ache. He paused for a moment then and asked if she was okay? Seriously? She didn't trust herself to speak, she merely nodded yes.

Each toe on her right foot received the same exquisite attention. She concentrated on keeping quiet, clenching her eyes shut and not letting her needy moans escape. Her face felt on fire, she didn't know what to do. Was it normal for a man to want to suck on your toes? Was it normal to like it? "Oh, God," she moaned helplessly.

Christian's soaped up hands suddenly left her feet and she felt bereft until they started to trace a path up her legs. Gently those magic fingers massaged circles into her skin and then his soothing voice began to massage her as well. Constantly reassuring her that she was fine, that she was beautiful, kissing her legs, running his tongue down her calf and smiling knowingly as her body trembled with a combination of nerves and delight.

The wash cloth was back and creeping closer and closer to her womanhood. She felt on the verge of panic but Christian reassured her. Everything was fine, she just needed to relax and she would feel fine. Just lay back and let go. Then the wash cloth was gone and Christians hand was washing the most intimate part of her body and she was letting him! Then she felt his fingers start to massage her clitorus. She squirmed and moaned and tries to evade those fingers, but there was no denying them. She opened her eyes once to see Christian smiling maniacly as he concentrated on his task. Her moans were coming non stop now and her body was pushing against Christians hand. Her head tossed and turned from side to side. Her face felt on fire, her body felt desperate need, she needed it so much, she ached everywhere but had no idea what it was she needed. She was scared. Something was happening, something she had no control over and suddenly without warning, her body seized in pleasure and she yelled his name. She opened her eyes to see him grinning at her.

Was that an orgasm? Is that what happened? It had to be. What else could it he?

"Do you always come like that?"

"I don't know. I never came before."

"But don't you, you know, play with yourself?"

Ana silently shookmher head no.

"You mean that was really your first time coming?"

Looking down, Ana shyly nodded her head yes.

"Wow. You honor me, Ms Steele."

"No more than you honor me. Thank you, Christian. You have no idea what this means to me." Tears start steaming down Ana's cheeks. "I always felt like a freak before, now, suddenly I feel like a woman."

Christian suddenly climbed into the tub, still in his clothes and pulled her into his lap. "You are not a freak. Don't ever say that. Not ever. You are beautiful and you are mine." Then he kissed her like his life depended on it. The kiss was long and hard and deep. There was no way to hide from the feelings behind the kiss so Ana didn't try. She gave the kiss everything she had and then some. When their lips finally parted to suck in air, their eyes met in silent understanding. Christian stood and pulled her up then lifted her into his arms bridal style and stepped out of the tub and into the shower. He stood her up against the tile wall, gently placed a shower cap over her head to protect her wound and turned the water on.

She pulled the cap off, "I don't need this anymore. Taylor says its scabbed over and I can shampoo it today."

He nodded and then he undid his pants and roughly slid them down his legs and off, kicking them to the side. Next came the boxers. Ana stood still, knowing what he was doing but afraid to watch.

Finally, she looked down to see his massive arousal. It frightened her and made her remember the last time she saw a mans arousal. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about that. She felt Christian begin to massage shampoo into her head. It smelled good, clean and herbal. She closed her eyes and just felt him, felt his nearness. The hair on his chest just barely touching her jaw. The taut muscles in his legs felt hard as he leaned against her. She felt his arousal poke her belly and wanted to scream. Its not thesame, she kept telling herself. Its Christian. You're safe. But every time his engorged dick came in contact with her body, she wanted to panic, to run to scream, to get as far away as possible. He was rinsing the conditioner out of her hair when her hand that was braced up against the wet tile slipped and inadvertantly touched his hard dick. She slid unconscious to the floor.

When she came to, she was in bed, naked and wet, with just a towel over her, and Taylor was capping something and asking her how she felt. She thought about it for a moment and knew she was alright. She looked around for Christian.

Taylor explained he was out in the hallway talking to Flynn. Then he explained, she never stopped breathing but she did faint, probably a panic attack.

"I never stopped breathing, Taylor? Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. I used some smelling salts to bring you around. If you know what caused you to faint, you might want to tell Flynn."

"God, no, Taylor! I am never telling anyone about this ever!"

"Well, whatever it was, he," tilting his head to the hallway, " is a basket case. He obviously feels guilty about something."

"He has nothing to feel guilty about. It was all me."

"Well, let me just warn you. He feels like his attraction to you is going to end up with you dying. He can't handle that so he's going to cancel the trip and find you an apartment. Right now he's beating himself up with Flynn. If he tells Flynn you were both in the shower naked, he's liable to be stepping off the elevator any minute."

"Oh, sweet Jesus, no." Ana grabbed the sheet and threw it around her and marched out to the hallway to find Christian sitting on the floor just moaning over and over "I didn't mean to."

Ana shook her head in disgust and grabbed the phone, "John? I am fine. What happened? We were taking a shower together, well first we had a bath, anyway my hand accidentally came into contact with his arousal. I just wasn't expecting to touch him there at that particular time, so it was kind of a shock and I fainted. I never stopped breathing. If you dont believe me John, talk to Taylor. Don't come here. We are both fine. Well I am fine and when I get done with Christian he will be fine too. We just need to talk. Fine. I will call the office in the morning and set up an appointment. Here's Taylor."

"Up!" She directed Christian, but Christian glumly shook his head no. "I can't Ana, I can't."

Ana started to walk away and suddenly fell to the floor, grabbing her ankle. Christian, still naked was by her side in seconds. "What happened?"

"I fell. I twisted my ankle. Can you carry me to bed?"

Christian hesitated, unsure if this was a wise thing for him to do. Then Ana interrupted his thoughts, "Never mind. Taylor can carry me. Could you just make sure this sheet is covering my ass?"

Christian stood in all his magnificent naked glory. Ana noticed he wasn't aroused any more, but he was still huge. The more she looked at him there, the less anxious she felt.

Christian bent down and picked her up and cautioned her to keep her hands away from his dick.

"Dick?" Ana asked innocently, "Oh, you mean this dick," and she reached down and grabbed him, squeezing harder than she meant.

Christian let out a yelp, Taylor turned around, saw where Ana's hand was, grinned and debated giving Flynn a update. He turned away so Grey wouldnt see him laugh and assurred Flynn the happy couple was back on track and would be fine.


	15. Chapter 15

Christian carried her inside their bedroom and laid her down on the bed ever so gently. Before Ana could say a word, he picked up first one foot and then the other, carefully examine them. "Your feet do not appear injured."

"Thank goodness."

"Ana..."

"Christian, come here. She sat up and swung her feet down."

"What?" He asked testily.

"Christian, please!"

He walked over in front of her, not too close.

"Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you."

"Really?" Christian smiled and closed his eyes. He didn't hear her fall to her knees on the thick plush carpet, but he certainly recognized the iron grip around his dick that guided it into her mouth.

His eyes flew open in shock as he stared down at her head bobbing back and forth on his dick. His heart began to pound so fast he was sure he would have a heart attack. He thought about pulling out but knew he wouldn't be able to, weak, wicked son of a bitch that he was. He widened his stance a bit and grabbed on hard to her hair with both hands. He was panting, he was moaning and he knew he was killing her. At some point, she would have a flashback, stop breathing and die. "I swear to god Ana, if you die before I get a chance to fuck you, I'll find a way to die too and chase you all over heaven until I can fuck you."

Ana couldn't help it, she started to giggle and then let go of him and laughed, "Christian, what if St Peter doesn't let you in?"

Christian answered by lifting her off her knees and tossing her on the bed then diving over her body. His hands were trembling with need. He wanted to be inside her. He kissed her mouth, letting her feel his desperation. Then he slowly kissed his way down her body. Stopping along the way to pay careful and equal attention to each breast, regardless of the scars. Licking gently and almost hesitantly, watching for signs of pleasure and eventually sucking her nipples like a hungry infant. Then his mouth slid lower. His tongue investigated her navel and swept across her belly diving down into her womanhood. He stuck his nose in her curls and breathed in deeply.

If Ana had thought his fingers were magical, his tongue was absolutely enchanting. As his mouth made love to her feminity, an overwhelming pleasure like nothing she had ever experienced in life grew in her body. A need so strong she couldn't describe it. She squirmed, she wiggled, she panted, she moaned. She needed it, whatever it was, and only Christian could provide it. "Please! " she begged. "Christian! Help me!"

"It's okay, baby, I'm going to go inside you, now. Is that okay?"

"Please, Christian, please! I need you. Fuck me, damn it, just fuck me!"

"As you wish, Ms Steele."

Using every last ounce of self control, he positioned himself just inside her entrance."Are you sure, baby? I can still stop."

Her only reply was a grunt as she tried to force him deeper inside her.

"Okay. I get it. You need me inside you. Just remember, its going to hurt for a minute but then you will be fine. Okay?"

Her only answer was a distressed moan. Nervous and uncertain, Christian surged forward. He had decided hard and quick was the least painful way but wasn't prepared for how tight her channel was. He paused halfway in, detecting pain in her moans, not pleasure. "Easy, baby, we'll go slow, give your body time to adjust. You feel so good baby. You are so tight, I could explode right here. Take a deep breath now, try and relax. Tell me when you're ready."

Ana looked up at his dark Grey eyes with love, knowing how lucky she was this was the man introducing her to sex, this was the man who would make her a woman and this was the man who brought her to life. Surely nothing could stop her breathing now. She nodded her readiness, not trusting her voice and his body gave a mighty surge, she gasped as the burning pain ripped through her and he stopped again. "Are you okay?"

Tears of happiness fell as she smiled shyly and nodded yes. It was over. He had torn through the barrier. She was no longer a virgin.

Christian looked down and saw her smile. He felt relieved. Relieved she was still breathing, relieved she hasn't asked him to stop and relieved that she wanted him to continue. He was breathing heavily and they had barely started. He began to focus on her pleasure then. If he did nothing else in his miserable life, he was going to give the most pleasurable introduction to sex that anyone ever experienced. She deserved it and he could do it. He would control himself and forget about his pleasure. Everything would be for Ana.

He pulled out every trick he had ever learned about enhancing a woman's pleasure. It worked. The intensity of her orgasm was overwhelming to both of them. She trembled in his arms, exhausted and barely conscious. Christian laid beside her, still panting and equally exhausted. He closed his eyes for a moment and woke up three hours later. What the fuck? He never slept like that. He looked at the bedside clock. Ten o'clock? Impossible. As he began to unwrap himself from Ana, she stirred and then opened her eyes and smiled proudly.

He smiled back, equally proud of his performance. His stomach growled then and he realized neither one of them had eaten. "Let's grab a shower and see what Mrs Jones left us to eat." He suggested. "You want to shower first?" He asked.

"You don't want to shower together?" She asked, her disappointment obvious.

"Baby, I justed used up about a months worth of self control. If I take a shower vwith you now, we'll never eat and you'll end up so sore you won't be able to walk. I don't want that."

"Oh. Okay. I'll go first."

Once Ana was in the shower, Christian looked at the blood stained sheets and quickly pulled them off and tossed them in the hamper. He walked out to the hall linen closet, grabbed a set of sheets and quickly made the bed. He just finished when Ana exited the bathroom wearing a white fluffy robe.

"Its all yours," she said with a jerk of her head towards the bathroom. Christian took a quick efficient shower and slid into a tight pair of jeans commando style.

"Ready?" He asked with a smile, holding out his hand to her.

"I am ready." She replied, clasping her hand in his as they left for the kitchen. Once there Christian began banging things around, looking in the oven, disappointed when it was empty. Looking for chilled wine and banging the cooler door shut. Searching for two particular glasses and banging half a dozen cabinet doors shut. It really was no surprise when Mrs Jones appeared and offered to help.

She immediately produced the two Riedel stem glasses and suggested they both sit while she reheated their dinner. They sat side by side at the kitchen island, smiling, giggling and whispering promises of intimacies yet to come.

Mrs Jones set down two souffle bowls of baked macaroni and cheese with 2 broiled lamb chops and a salad.

"Mrs Jones! This is perfect. What a great meal to end to a perfect night." Ana exclaimed.

"Baby, this night is just beginning, its not ending." Christian replied as Ana blushed. Then he looked towards Mrs Jones. "Sleep in tomorrow. Tell Jason to have Reynolds take me in. Tell him to sleep in too. We really don't know what's ahead of us and he needs to be well rested."

Mrs Jones blushed and said, "Certainly, sir. Just leave everything in the sink. I'll get it later."

Ana spoke up then, "Don't be silly, Mrs Jones. I'll clean up after us and start the dishwasher."

"If you insist, but please, don't put the wines glasses in the dishwasher. They're very fragile. Just leave them on the counter, okay?"

"Okay. I could rinse them by hand?"

"Its okay Ana. I will take care of them."

" Okay, see you tomorrow."

Gail smiled and with a wave goodbye she left.

The next morning Ana woke up to the house phone ringing. She answered it, groggy from sleep, to find Taylor on the other end. He apologized for waking her but needed to know when she could let Fitz and Molloy know her decision.

"Can you give me fifteen minutes to look human?"

Taylor chuckled and told her to come to the security office when she was ready.

Fifteen minutes later, a freshly showered Ana dressed in jeans and a tee shirt walked into Taylors office. Fitz and Molloy both stood. Ana stuck out her hand to Fitz and shook it firmly. Then she repeated the action with Molloy. "Ladies, the final decision is up to Taylor but as far as I am concerned, it would be an honor to have you both as my personal security."

Both ladies broke out in a grin and thanked her. Even Taylor seemed pleased. Ana than excused herself to go eat breakfast.

The day sped by. Luggage and garment bags began to pile up in the corridor by the service elevator. There were garment racks filled with garment bags holding Christians suits as well as the suits for the security team. There was one rack that obviously held women's formal wear. "Is that for Fitz and Molloy?" Ana asked Mrs Jones, nodding towards the rack.

"No, dear. Those are your evening dresses."

"Mine? I didn't order anything?"

Mrs Jones smiled kindly, "Well, apparently Mr Grey has. These were delivered this morning with instructions they be loaded with the rest of your luggage.

" Wait! What luggage?"

"The glossy Ferrari red luggage is yours."

"I don't own enough clothes to fill up that much luggage. There's at least 4 large suitcases and 2 medium ones."

Mrs Jones smiled, "He has been busy, hasn't he?"

"One wonders where he finds the time to work! It looks like all he does is shop."

"Well, dear, you know you will be accompanying him to dinner every evening. There will surely be at least one state dinner with a member of the monarchy so just let him have his fun and show you off."

"State dinner, monarchy? He didn't tell me anything about that!"

"Don't worry, Ana. I am sure Jason mentioned Mr Wainwright from Public Relations will be traveling with you. He will guide you through everything."

Ana pursed her lips and made a face. Then she shook her head in disbelief and announced she was returning to the library.


	16. Chapter 16

Taylor checked his to-do list and sighed. The only thing missing was the security squad from Punjab should have checked in by now. Abhi Singh was to call as soon as they landed in KL. Taylor tried to stay positive but it was hard to shake the feeling that something was wrong. Singh had emailed him from New Delhi that all was okay, but if everything was okay, where the fuck was he? He tried calling, but it just went to voice mail. Last night he had been uncertain when he called Luke into his office and rescinded the suspension. He hasn't run it by the boss or Ana. He booked him a flight on China Air that was leaving at two am. He gave him back his GEH ID and credit card and told him to make that flight. He was to shadow Ana from a distance. It wasn't that he didn't trust the girls, he did. He just wasn't sure who or what he was dealing with here. He needed people he knew, people he trusted. Luke might have fucked up but he would never hurt Ana or allow anyone else to hurt Ana. Now that Luke was clear Ana didn't need rescuing, he was happy to do anything to make up for the unhappiness he caused. He'd run this by Grey once they were settled in the hotel. It would not be an easy conversation.

Taylor had been with Christian before to Malaysia. It was beautiful country, very hot and humid. It was also very corrupt. No different from western countries, really, just a little more up front about it. It made negotiations easier, if a little longer. It also meant he needed to have quick access to a boatload of cash.

The Maylay King resided in KL, so he was certain there would be some kind of royal welcome for Christian, even if it was only a younger Prince. This boatyard deal Christian was working on was a billion dollar deal. In terms of jobs, increased revenues and international status it was a blockbuster deal, that meant the line of ass kissing idiots would be endless, especially the ones with any political clout. In Taylor's opinion, neither Grey or Ana had considered the possible political ramifications of her accompanying him on the trip. Ana was not a wife, not a fiance, not a publicly acknowledged girlfriend. She was a young woman, traveling abroad with a billionaire, leaving her morals in question. In a conservative Muslim country, this was not a good thing. If one of the Princes saw her and decided he wanted her, there would be trouble, big trouble. Just one of the many types of problems Taylor had to consider and prepare for. Hopefully, this trip would be short and uneventful. Ana would not leave her hotel room and no one would even know she was there.

Of course, that would never happen. Has he not already taken steps to shut down an elephant refuge for half a day so she could get a damn elephant ride? Well, he had done everything he could do. He glanced at the click on the wall, 5:30 pm, time to grab something to eat and a shower and Gail. Not necessarily in that order.

Ana spent the day in the library reading. There was too many people, too many men she didn't know, traipsing up and down the stairs, carrying suitcases and garment bags and boxes upon boxes of unknown items. Gail was busy directing, correcting, and in general supervising everything. Taylor was holed up in his office doing God knows what. Ana fell asleep in the middle of Pride and Prejudice. She awoke to a kiss from her Prince Charming, just like Cinderella. She was laying down in the extra wide recliner. Christian didn't hesitate to jump in beside her and kiss her again. She smiled and kissed him back, hungry for his touch, surprised at her need.

"Missed me, huh?" He grinned down at her. She blushed and nodded yes. "You'll have to wait. I have been ordered by Mrs Jones to wake you and bring you to dinner. If I am not back with you in ten minutes she has threatened to starch my underwear. We need to hurry."

Ana giggled as Christian stood and took her hand helping her up and holding it all the way to the dining room. Mrs Jones smiled pleasantly as she served roast lamb with home made mint sauce, mashed rutabaga and fresh baby spinach with olive oil and garlic. To top it off, there were fresh biscuits and gravy and a side salad with romaine lettuce and tomato with aged balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil. Ana didn't know what the hell the mashed rutabaga was until Christian called out, " Mashed rutabaga! My favorite! Thank you Mrs Jones!"

Ana was hoping they were mashed carrots or mashed sweet potato, but who ever heard of mashed rutabaga? She took a taste, warily. Christian was watching her, waiting eagerly for her reaction. He was encouraging her, telling her how delicious it was. Finally, she tasted it and became ecstatic She told Christian how she could taste the brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg. Butter and cream too, and salt. She asks Mrs Jones if she can watch her make it next time. Mrs Jones blushes and agrees. The lamb is out of this world. Ana has no trouble cleaning her plate and Christian is pleased. Afterwards, they linger at the table over coffee and chocolate cake.

Ana asks what we should wear on the flight and how long it would be. Christian explains the flight is approximately 20 hours. KL is 16 hours ahead of Seattle. She should wear something casual and comfortable. It really didn't matter because the jet had two bedrooms and he promised whatever she decided to wear, it wouldn't be on long.

In no time Ana found herself strapped into a lounge chair, with Christian seared right beside her. Also accompanying them on the trip were Ros, and her security Sanders, Wainwright, Christians international press secretary, and the security team, Taylor, Reynolds, Ryan, Fitz and Molloy.

Shortly into the flight, Christian and Ana arose to move into the bedroom. Taylor observed that Wainwright watched them leave with an expression of distaste. After the bedroom door shut, Taylor patted the empty seat next to him and invited Wainwright to sit beside him.

"So, Wainwright, anything I need to know about our landing in KL?"

"Nothing that concerns you, Taylor."

"You do realize everything that concerns Mr Grey, concerns me."

"Really?" Wainwright replied innocently, then began to study his fingernails in ernest. "If you are that concerned, then maybe you should do something about getting rid of that hooker he's with. She is definitely a security risk, but then I wouldn't want to tell you how to do your job. A word to the wise Taylor, if he tries to introduce that whore to the Prince, your job won't be worth a damn."

Taylor had been trying, really trying to hold on to his temper. They were in an aircraft, 35,000 feet up. Still, some things can't be ignored. He stood and removed his suit jacket. Then he reached down for Wainwright and with one hand grabbing the neck of his shirt, hauled him up into the air. Ryan and Reynolds were there instantly. A red faced, furious Taylor carried him with one hand to the nearest interior wall and then slammed him into it, head first. It happed to be the galley wall, and the cabinet flew open with everything tumbling out as Taylor slammed Wainwright head against every interior surface he could find. Wainwright, whose eyes were bulging and who was turning blue from the chokehold let his arm snake out to the side, searching desperately for a weapon against Taylor. All he could reach was a champagne flute. He grabbed it and smashed it down on Taylors buzz cut, but instead of a howl of pain, or a lessening of the chokehold, Taylor just grinned.

"You no good mother fucker. You dumb fuck, you stupid prick,..." Each word was accompanied by a head slam into whatever was left of the galley. The sound of Grey roaring his name finally penetrated the haze of his temper. Still, choking Wainwright, still holding him two feet off the ground, he calmly turned his blood streaked face to Grey and acknowledged him with a polite, if questioning "Sir?"

"What the fuck is going on?" Grey demanded to know.

No one said a word and then Ros spoke up. "Asshole there," she said nodding with her head towards Wainwright, "Implied that Taylor was allowing a security risk by allowing you to take a hooker on this trip. He also said that if Taylor allowed the whore to be introduced to the Prince it would cost him his job."

Grey stepped closer, looked at Taylor who then opened his hand allowing Wainwright to fall in a heap on the floor.

"Is that so, Wainwright? You called my woman a hooker?"

"I apologize if I was incorrect, sir, but let's face it, a whore is a whore is a whore and nothing is worse than a gold digging whore."

Grey let his mask slip then and violently kicked Wainwright repeatedly in the groin and in the ribs. "You're fired Wainwright. Taylor, tell the captain to find some place to land and get him off my plane. Arrange for his relocation to some place I have never been and I am unlikely to ever visit."

"Yes sir." Taylor replied, holding a small towel to his scalp and glaring at Wainwright.

Wainwright stood slowly, rubbing his throat. "I have a home. I am not moving. I am pressing charges against you, Taylor. I am gonna put your ass in jail."

"You are such a dumb fuck, I don't know how you ever got hired. I would have moved you somewhere nice but remote. I was thinking maybe The Falkland Islands, but you, dumb fuck that you are, you are gonna threaten me? Now, you're going to fucking disappear." Taylor looked at Ryan and growled "Get him out of my sight."


	17. Chapter 17

A/N

Thank you so much for everyone's reviews. They really mean so much and provide so much encouragement. We are almost to Malaysia and once we arrive, there should be a lot of action right from the get go. As a matter of fact, we should be landing there in this chapter. Or the next chapter. Sometimes plans don't go exactly the way you thought they would :)

Molloy and Fitz worked on Taylors scalp, one with a tweezers pulling glass shards and the other mopping up blood and applying pressure.

"Reynolds!" Taylor barked, " Put him out! If I have to hear his whiney ass voice again, I'll fucking strangle him."

"Sure, T. You got it."

"Ladies, sorry but I need to go up front and speak with the pilot."

"Good thing for you, the pilot has decided to come back here and find out what the hell is going on."

"Are you a mind reader now Ste- er- Captain?"

The pilot laughed. "What do you need,Taylor?"

"Am I correct in my thinking that if you turn this bird around and fly back to Seattle that we will be met by every satelite truck on the west coast and then some?"

"Not only that, but we need to request permission and might be met by an FAA official or, even worse FTSB."

"Alright, let's forget about a return to Seattle. I'm going to broker with the Royal Security and have them relocate Mr Wainwright. We are going to cancel any kind of reception, royal or otherwise based on security. If we can make it to the hotel without incident and have His Majesty's body guards throw Bozo's ass in a psycho ward, maybe we can all get some sleep."

"It's a long flight, Taylor. Are you sure you don't require medical attention?"

"I'm good. Don't worry. Scalp wounds bleed like a son of a bitch."

"Alright. I'm going back up front."

"Ros!" Taylor called, and she was by his side immediately.

"What do you need, Taylor?"

"You need to text that trade commisioner and inform him we have been threatened. He has to cancel any kind of welcoming. We need a private place to land, not out in the open. Have him give you someone who can act as a liaison with me. IwI want to see if they can't drape the stairway blocking it from view. I need an okay for our limos pulling right up to the stairway and make sure there is zero publicity. If I am not happy with the security, Grey is not getting off the plane."

"Gotcha. I'm on it, one thing though, how are we going to handle those two as a couple without offending anyone?"

"I have a plan but I need to discuss it with Mr Grey."

"Discuss what with me, Taylor?"

"What is it with everyone creeping up on me? Sorry, sir. We need to talk privately."

"Well, Taylor, looks like I'm going to need to kick Ana out and let you take her place,"

Taylor grimaced. "Was that supposed to be a joke sir? Me, taking Ana's place in your bedroom?"

" Uh," Grey stammered.

"Yes, Taylor. That was supposed to be a joke. I made the mistake of telling him he has no sense of humor and ever since he's been trying to crack jokes. Let's just say he is a work in progress."

Taylor looked behind Grey and saw Ana. "Yes, Mame."

"You two need privacy, go!" Ana urged, pointing to the bedroom. Taylor stood and followed Grey into the bedroom.

It was far from ideal, if anything, it was awkward, but it was private, and more soundproof than any place else on the jet. Christian sat on the bed and asked, "Am I going to need a drink?"

"I think a drink for both of us would be in order, sir."

Grey frowned, stood and walked over to the closet, pulling out a fifth of scotch. On the nightstand sat a small tray with a thermal pitcher of ice water and two glasses, still in sterilized wrappers. Grey poured scotch into a glass and handed it to Taylor. He repeated the process for himself. They clinked glasses and drank.

"Is this about Wainwright?"

"No, sir He's the least of my problems."

Grey looked up, a look of concern on his face.

"Right now, I have two major problems. One is the security team I hired for Ana from Punjab. The leader of that team is someone I know personally. He was to check in with me before he left New Delhi. He did. He sent me an email, just like always, but his signature was off and it makes me wonder if it was even him. I've tried calling, but it just goes to voicemail. It could be I am over reacting, but I feel like something is off. I decided at the last minute to put Sawyer on an AirChina flight that left at two am last night. He can follow from a distance. If anyone wants to really disrupt these negotiations, they're not going to after you because if it is not you and your company, it will be some other company. One way or another, this shipyard is getting sold. If they want to disrupt the negotiations, they will go after someone important to you. In the past, its always been your sister. This time, I think its going to be Ana.

"If they grab Ana, they can call the shots." Christian finished for him.

"Exactly. There is more. I don't know what your relationship with Ana is and I don't want to know. " At this point, Taylor dropped down to one knee, and looked straight into Christians eye. "You know this is a conservative, Muslim country. The royal family are all Muslim. How are you planning on introducing her to all the VIPs you will be schmoozing with at dinner? You know what is going to happen. You can't turn down a royal invitation, not without giving serious offense. Do you have a plan?"

Taylor stared in Christians gray eyes and recognized the blank look. "You haven't thought about it, have you? Shit."

"I'm sorry, Taylor. Jesus, how did I do this? Why didn't you stop me?"

"Your mind was made up. I couldn't have changed it. Ana wanted to go and you decided she could."

"What if I decide to just say fuck it and bring her to dinner anyway?"

"My biggest worry is one of the Royals will be smitten by her. She is not safe as your unknown girlfirend."

"What if I give an interview to the press with her?"

"Too little, too late. The Trade Minister you deal with, he's a Prince. What if he decides no deal unless you toss Ana in. I know you won't do that, but I just need to point out some of the possible ramifications."

"So what the fuck am I supposed to do? I assume you have a solution Taylor?"

"You need to get engaged very publicly and very officially. You can always break up down the road."

"Fuck. I don't want to get engaged."

"Christian! It doesn't have to be for real!"

"Taylor, I can't. It would be so hurtful to her. I can't do this. I like her. I like her a lot. I've never known anyone like her. I don't want her to leave."

Taylor shook his head in disbelief. If it wasn't so damn serious, it would be funny. "Have you got a better plan? No? Then lets do this. I will explain that its all my idea, that way if she gets angry, she can get angry with me. If she doesn't agree to a fake engagement I will have the girls fly back with her to Seattle."

"She is going to hate me, Taylor." Christian poured another two fingers each of scotch. They both swallowed it down and nodded at each other.

"Maybe not, sir. Being engaged may bring you even closer together."

"I don't see how a fake engagement can do anything but destroy us. I don't want to have this discussion with her in here. Close off the nose section. Can you speak to her first, you know, explain the danger that she is in, try to make her understand why we would even consider this?"

"Of course, sir. Can you join us in fifteen minutes?"

"Fine."

Taylor stood and left while Christian poured one last drink as he wondered what in the hell did he just agree to and would Ana go along with it.

Taylor exited the bedroom and gave instructions to the stewardess. Everyone watched as she politely requested people take seats in the rear of the plane. When the front part of the plane was empty, she pressed a button and a sound proof panel rose from the floor, complete with a door. She nodded to Taylor, who immediately approached Ana.

"Ms Steele, if you could come with me, please."

Ana stood and followed Taylor. This couldn't be good news. She could smell liquor on Taylor and that by itself was enough to make her nervous. As she entered the newly walled off area, she found herself starting to struggle to breathe. An alarmed Taylor turned, took one look at her and yelled "Get Grey!" Before trying to calm her down.

In the past, he had been able to calm her down with just steady eye contact, a reassuring voice and maybe a gentle touch. None of that was working. She kept backing away as her breathing worsened.

Suddenly, Christian burst into the room. The fear in his eyes was unmistakable. He looked like he had just thrown down a shot of booze. His left hand seemed to be permanently entangled in his hair, constantly tugging on it. One look at Ana and the look of fear in his eyes turned to terror. Slowly, he moved towards her, holding his arms out, beckoning her into them, promising everything was fine, she just needed to breathe. Finally, she gasped repeatedly for air as she tumbled into his arms, crying and trying to get her breathing under control.

Christian glared at Taylor and growled, "Get out!" Then he sat down in a lounge chair and held Ana in his lap.

Ana burrowed her her head into Christians chest, clinging to him with all her might, crying steadily while still breathing roughly.

Christian closed his eyes as he rocked her gently, feeling comfortable with her closeness. He rained light kisses down the side of her face and whispered words of read sura nice. Finally, he heard the shuddering gasp that told him she was back in control. He rubbed circles into her back, kissed the top of her head and finally asked, "Better?"

She nodded yes.

"Do I need to fire Taylor?"

Ana giggled, knowing that was impossible.

"Ana, please, tell me what happened?"

"Taylor didn't look like Taylor. And he smelled like booze. It scared me."

"Ana, I must smell like booze, too."

Ana giggled, "You do."

Please,baby, tell me why you had trouble breathing."

Ana looked down, avoiding his eyes. " He looked angry and scared at the same time. I thought he was going to tell me you didn't want to see me anymore."

"Oh, Ana! How could you ever think that?"

"When you rushed in here, you looked guilty."

"You're right, now let me try and explain."

Ana laid her head back down on his chest and closed her eyes as she listened to the frantic beat of his heart. She felt his hand stroke her back and nestled in his arms she began to feel safe again.

"You know originally, I didn't want you to come on this trip, not because I didn't want to be with you, but because of security. Then we decided the hell with security, we wanted to be together, even if it was dangerous, right?"

"Right."

"Ana, I really wasn't thinking clearly. Taylor tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen. I have never had a girlfriend. Aside from you, I have never been photographed with a woman. I have repeatedly denied dating you. Malaysia is a conservative Muslim country. If you are not my wife or my fiance, some people will look at you as no better than a hooker. You are a beautiful woman. If a powerful man decides he wants you, it will get ugly very quickly. If they have royal connections, I might not be able to protect you.

Taylors solution is a fake engagement, but I can't do that. "

"So you want me to leave?" Ana asked in a trembling voice.

"No! That's the last thing I want. I've thought about it and thought about it. No one has ever made me feel the way you do. I know we barely know each other a week, but I feel like I know you forever. I feel like a part of me was missing until you came along. I think, I think, well, I honestly think I have fallen in love with you. I don't want a fake engagement, Ana. I want a real one. We have lots of time. We don't have to get married right away, but the more I think about it, the more certain I am that you are the only woman I will ever love. I need you like I need air to breathe. I understand if you can't say yes. I know I am a lot to take on. If, if you want to return to Seattle, the jet will refuel, get a new flight crew and fly you back. Its all up to you, Ana. Whatever you decide."

Ana's hand slid up to caress his face while silent tears ran down her cheeks. "A real engagement, huh?" She lifted her head and her blue eyes met his Grey eyes. "You know it won't be easy? "

"Nothing worthwhile is ever easy."

"People will think we are crazy, but I understand you. I really do. Its scary to think I might love you, but I think I do. You have changed my life in so many ways. I need you just as much as you need me. You don't have to get engaged though, only if you really mean it from here." She pointed towards her heart.

He took her hand and gently placed it over his heart. "This beats for you. I love you Ana, please, will you be my wife?"

Ana smiled and with a shaky voice declared "I would be very proud to be your wife."

Christian hugged her hard to his body and then began to kiss her. When they finally broke apart, he said we need to speak with Taylor. He also has some security issues he wants to make you aware of, aside from the ones I discussed. Those don't exist anymore; as my fiance, no one would dare to insult you.

Christian shifted Ana off his lap and walked over to the door and opened it. Seeing Taylor, he merely nodded for him to come in.

"Sir?" Her asked a bit hesitantly.

"All in good time, Taylor. All in good time."

Taylor scrutinized Christian's face, then looked at Ana. "I'll be right back!" He announced and quickly left. He returned almost immediately with a chilled bottle of champagne and three flutes. He smiled and offered a toast, "May I be the first to wish you all the happiness you both deserve."

They all clinked glasses and moved to sit around a small bistro table. "So you are engaged?" Taylor asked.

Ana blushed and nodded.

"There is one small difference you need to know about, Taylor. This isn't a fake engagement. We are doing this for real. We aren't going to rush right into marriage, but when it feels right, we're going to do it. Its hard for me to believe she really loves me, but she does."

"No harder than it is for me to believe you could ever love someone like me, but you do."

"Alright, we can discuss security issues in the morning. What about a ring?" Taylor looked at Christian and added, "Since you've had the WiFi added to the jet, you can look at Cartier's on line and if you see something you both like, my guy there can pick it up."

"Now might be a good time to explain to Ana who your guy is." Christian remarked.

"Ana. I am running into some problems with the on-site security I hired for you in KL. They may be compromised and I may not be able to use them. I decided to rescind Sawyers suspension and sent him here ahead of us. He can watch you from a distance. He can also see if anyone else is following you. He truly feels very bad and wants to make it up to both of you. He wanted to apologize to you both before he left and thank you for giving him a second chance, but, since I made that decision on my own, I didn't think it was a good idea."

"I'm not mad at him any more, just disappointed." Ana explained.

"Speak for yourself, I'm still pissed."

Ana giggled, "You're so jealous!"

"Damn right!"

"Next you'll be jealous of Taylor."

"Please. I have to draw the line somewhere. I mean come on, look at him? Do you know how old he is?"

"Sir, please. Let us leave it that there is no reason for you to be jealous of me."

Christian laughed and gave in.

"When do you want a formal announcement made?" Taylor asked.

"We need a photo." Christian replied.

Taylor pulled out his phone and tapped the screen, "How about this one?"

It was a snapshot he took with his IPhone outside the hospital. They were standing close together looking into each others eyes, their love for each other very apparent.

Christian nodded and Ana agreed, so Taylor said he would text it to Andrea.

"No announcement until she has my ring on her finger." Added Christian. "We'll announce to those on the plane at breakfast."

"Very good, sir. Anything else?"

Christian shook his head, "No. We are headed back to bed. Right?"

Ana smiled and said, "Right."


	18. Chapter 18

Ana awoke in the morning, tired, sore and grinning from ear to ear. She turned on her side and gazed at the man sprawled across her body. His head was nestled against her breast, his arm flung posseively across her hip and his leg stretched across hers, pinning her in place. She smiled tenderly. Her hand couldn't resist and reached over pushing the hair out of his eyes. She started to slide out of his embrace, but even asleep, he wouldn't let her go. He pulled her close and tightened his embrace and then sighed contentedly and slipped back into a deeper sleep. Ana just smiled and closed her eyes and fell asleep again.

Outside in the cabin, Taylor sat quietly and sipped his coffee. He couldn't help glancing at his watch again. Grey never slept more than five hours. Ryan, Reynolds, Molloy and Fitz had started a pool for when the boss would make an appearance. For all of them, the boss's behavior was a first. He had never taken a woman into the bedroom on board the jet. Never.

The only women they had ever seen him with were Mrs Lincoln and family members. Taylor wished he would hurry up and wake up, though that could be a problem too. They could all testify to the fact the so-called soundproofing needed improvement. As near as they could tell, the exhausted but thoroughly satisfied lovers reluctantly fell asleep around five thirty am Seattle time. It was now one in the afternoon and Taylor was not going to wake them, much as he wanted to. He'd give him another thirty minutes before he knocked on the door. Just then his phone vibrated with a text.

"Anything I need to know?"

Taylor quickly texted back

"FINALLY! YES. What do you want for breakfast?"

"We were thinking of having breakfast in bed."

"What about the announcement?"

"When we get up."

"I have pictures from Cartier, if you are interested."

"I need coffee and Ana wants tea. And OJ for both of us. And pictures we want to see pictures."

"I'll be there in 2 minutes and you both better be decent. You might want to check your old texts."

Then Taylor got up and poured the coffee and tea, bag out, the way Ana liked it. He grabbed two glasses of juice from the fridge and set them on the tray and headed for the bedroom. Everyone was watching him. Nosey bastards. He knocked briskly, the way he always did, and waited for Grey's okay to enter. Ana was in the bathroom, taking a shower. Grey was studying the photos Cartier sent. He pointed at the one he wanted. Taylor smiled. As usual, with unerring accuracy, Grey had selected the most expensive ring. All three were expensive, but this particular ring had a price tag of six million. Cartier says if you are interested in the Liz Taylor ring, they can make inqueries, but it's caught up in legal with her estate and the auction house and they are unsure how long it will be before it is back on the market.

"No. She had five husbands, I don't want that fickle energy passed along. These rings are all new? Never worn by anyone?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay, let him know the one I want. Have Andrea call and put it on my debit card. How do we leak it?"

"I'll tell Andrea. She knows all that shit."

The door to the bathroom opened and Ana walked out dressed in a tropical looking dress that floated to her ankles. She smiled shyly at Taylor.

"Good morning, Ms Steele. What would you like to eat? Breakfast or lunch?"

Ana looked at Christian, "What time is it?"

"Christian looked at his watch, in Seattle, it's twenty five past one."

"In the afternoon?" A horrified Ana exclaimed. "Oh my god! Everyone must be talking about us. Christian! Stop laughing! Come on, get up!"

"Ana, you said we could have breakfast in bed." Christian pleaded.

"Christian! We have been in bed for over 13 hours! Get your ass up!"

Taylor coughed to cover his laugh. "Sir, what shall I tell Natalie?"

"Breakfast or lunch Ana?"

" I know its late, but I really want to start the day with breakfast. What can we get?"

"Ana what would you like? We have just about anything."

"Bacon,scrambled egg, toast and tea."

"Sir?"

"The same, but coffee. I'll try for fifteen minutes."

Ana stood then and joined Taylor as he turned to leave.

"Hey, Ana, where are you going?"

"I'm hungry! I'm going to eat. "

"Stay, baby. I'm hungry too." Christian replied with a wicked grin.

Ana laughed as she followed Taylor out the door.

After a leisurely brunch, Christian called Taylor over and motioned for him to sit next to Ana.

"Bring us up to speed, Taylor. What's happening?"

"Sir, Ms Steele, " Taylor replied while touching the screen of his IPad. "This is the formal engagement notice and photograph awaiting your approval."

"I like the photo, but paired with the formality of the notice, its too casual. Maybe once we get to the hotel, before dinner, we could pose for some formal photos."

"I can arrange for the hotel photographer to take some professional shots and email them to Andrea and PR, which reminds me, we need to notify them Wainwright is no longer employed."

"Before dinner will work. Which will be when exactly?"

Taylor checked his watch, " We'll be landing inapproximately four hours. You might want to reset your watch to KL time, which is 13 hours ahead of Seattle."

"You mean we will be landing at seven o'clock in the morning?" Ana exclaimed.

Taylor smiled, "Yes, Mame. Between customs and security checks, it will take another two hours before we leave for the hotel. We will be in a motorcade, with Royal security leading the way all the way to the hotel. By the time you are situated and get some lunch, it will be noontime. We suggest an afternoon nap to help with jet lag. Then photos, then a visit to Petronas Towers at sunset, and afterward, dinner for two at Cantaloupe. We have reserved a private ding area with a view, of course."

"Of course, " Ana smiled.

"By then, Ms Steele, your left hand will be wearing Christian's engagement ring. The formal announcement will have been released and as we leave Cantaloupe, Mr Grey will acknowledge the press and you will show them your ring, if anyone asks to see it. Then, back to the hotel.

Now, sir, you need to notify your family before the press release. May I suggest your mother first and privately. Then your family altogether on a conference call?"

"Fine. I'll do the calls while Ana is sleeping."

"Ana has a call to make as well, Ms Kavenaugh."

"That one may take awhile, Taylor." Ana said, while looking at Christian and adding, "I don't think she is going to buy it. "

"Offer her ten minutes to break the news ahead of every one else including the official announcement."

"Okay. She'll like that."

"Sir, perhaps we could send her the casual photo of you both that I took earlier."

Christian nodded, "Go ahead, sent it to Ana and she can send it to Ms Kavenaugh."

"Tomorrow morning, Friday, we will hold a press conference at the hotel. Ms Steele, you don't need to speak, but it would mean a lot if you could stand at his side."

"Of course. I will be at his side." She turned to Christian and smiled.

Taylor then added, " We will keep back the press and you will have plenty of security. I promise you, no one will get close enough to touch you."

"Will you be there Taylor?" Ana asked.

"You will be one one side of Mr Grey and I will be on the other. I think I would like Sawyer there as well. He can clear a path through a crowd better than most."

"Anything new on her security team?" Christian asked.

"No sir. I will meet them when we land but I am pretty certain I will be ditching them. Checking in and following protocol reflect the discipline of a team and its leader. Something is off. I don't know what it is but they have lost my trust."

"Taylor, I am sorry to say it, but I am so glad. I don't want big giant strangers trying to protect me. Fitz, Molloy and Sawyer, surely that is enough?"

"It depends, Ms Steele, it all depends. I will try to stay with those three but I can't guarantee there will be times when you will have six people protecting you, so be prepared."

"Six!" Exclaimed Ana in disbelief. "Six!" She repeated, turning to Christian, "That is ridiculous! Tell him Christian."

"I am sorry, Ana but I never interfere with Taylor and his security. If he says you need six people to be safe, trust him. You need six people. You will get used to it."

"Really? You think so? I don't think I will ever get used to needing protection."

" You will, it just takes time. Anything else, Taylor or is the announcement next?"

"I will get everyone's attention for you and give them all a reminder first."

"Okay, we're ready whenever you are."

Taylor stood," Everyone, please, gather around. Mr Grey has an announcement he wants to make. This is confidential information, so I remind everyone of the NDA they signed." Then he turned to Christian and said simply, "Sir."

Ana looked at the curious faces and wondered how they would react. It didn't take long, no sooner had Christian said the words, "Ms Steele has agreed to be my wife," then a cheer went up and a round up applause amidst whistling and other rowdy sounds of approval. Christian pulled her up out of her chair and kissed her.

"Damn you, Grey. You sure know how to keep a secret." Ros whispered in his ear, giving him a half hug. Christian surprised himself be putting his free arm around Ros and dragging her close.

"Apparently not that big a secret. Tell me that is not my head of security collecting money from everyone on his team? Taylor!" He called.

"Sir?"

"You bet on on our getting engaged?" He asked, feeling a bit indignent.

"A bet is gamble. You and Ms Steel were always a sure thing."

"Nice recovery, Taylor." Grey replied. Natalie then approached carrying a tray filled with flutes of pink champagne. Starting with Christian and Ana she made sure everyone had a glass then Ros raised her glass and toasted, "To Christian and Ana! " everyone cheers, and Ros continues. "They both think the most important words they will ever say are 'I do.' Let me clue you in, boss. The most important words you will ever say are 'yes, dear and I'm sorry." Everyone laughs including Ana.

Ros looks at her with a twinkle in her eye, "Dont worry, Ana. I'm not leaving you out. The two most important words for you are 'Not tonight' everyone roared with laughter as a blushing Ana smiled shyly.

Time sped by and the excitement started to fade as the reality set in. One by one, members of Christian's security team offered their boss their individual congratulations as well a a sincere promise to maintain their safety. They shook hands with Christian, and respectfully bowed their heads at Ana, with the exception of Fitz and Molloy, who shook hands with both Christian and Ana.

Ana's head was starting to spin with all the well wishes, advise and assurances of devotion to her safety, as well as Christian's. She noticed Natalie going around with a trolley collecting empty champagne flutes and trash. The next thing she knew, the pilot was asking everyone to put their seat belts on and prepare for landing.

Christian took her hand and guided her into a leather lounge seat, strapping her in before sitting beside her.

" Are you ready for Malaysia, Ana? This where we start our life as a team."

She squeezed his hand in anticipation and replied, "I have never been more ready. You make me feel so alive!"

Christian pulled her close and whispered in her ear, "Hold on tight, babe. Its going to be one hell of a ride!"

Ana giggled just as the wheels made contact with the runway, bouncing twice before making its way smoothly down the runway. She looked at Christian then and in perfect Malay, said "Selamat satang ke Malaysia!"

"Welcome to Malaysia? I think we may be hearing that a lot the next few days. "


End file.
